It just happens that way sometimes, sadly. I'm a Christian, but I don't belong to any particular church - neither do my parents. There are just lots of ways to be Christian, and your way may be really different from everyone else's, but that's okay. If you're interested, you can try to figure out a religious interpretation that makes more sense to you. You can even dispense with the Old Testament altogether, or the whole Bible, or whatever. I'm sorry it feels like other people aren't accepting you, though. I promise not everyone is like that, if it makes you feel better.

@admin it kind of feels like you overstepped your boundaries with that response? anon, i definitely understand the feeling that christianity is unwelcoming to certain groups of people. of course that doesn't mean all or even most christians are like that, and to my knowledge christian philosophy includes a lot of kindness and respect, but sometimes the less-tolerant people are the loudest. i think anon's feelings are justified. your (admin's) comment came off a little condescending? this is the internet so it is quite likely that i misread your tone, but remember that on the cb we're all kids who have feelings and don't understand everything about the world. if, as is quite likely, you were trying to reassure anon that they are more accepted than they realize, i appreciate that and i'm sure they do too. sorry if i misread your message; it just came off a bit weird to me.

I apologize that my reply came across that way. My intention was what
you say, to encourage anon that they are more accepted than they realize.

 Admin

That's very understandable, and a valid thing to feel. I hope you are able to pursue your dreams and find your own happiness.

I'm so sorry *hugs* Parents' expectations can be really overwhelming. Do you have other family members who you could talk to? Sometimes that's a good way of dealing with stuff. If not, we all really care about you.

I think maybe your parents just want you to be responsible, and in worrying about that, they might be a bit overreactive. I'm not saying you're misinterpreting their behavior, just that maybe it's coming from a good place. being an adult is, I would imagine, very demanding. Without parents around, you'd have to do all the housework, pay taxes, get a job, cook or buy the meals, stuff like that... One of my friends was saying that he wanted to live on his own when he goes to college, and just do his own thing and get up whenever he wanted to and go to the gym and stuff, and I was thinking "yeah but what'll happen when the washing machine goes on the fritz and you've got to call someone and no one comes and you're stuck without any clothes?" Living with adults who can take care of things like that, you're actually freer to follow your own wishes than if you were always hurrying around trying to cope with the weirdness of the adult world. I've just started classes a few weeks ago, and there's such a huge amount of stuff to keep track of and figure out - and I'm not even living on my own. If I had to take care of my meals and clothes and house and rent and taxes and so on, I don't know how I'd do it.

I do hope that you can follow your dreams and become an actress or anything else you want to be - but do it for yourself, as a way to live the life you want to. And you are worth something, I promise. Just from your post, it looks like you're passionate, independent, and caring - and, as I've often said, everyone is worth everything, just by existing, You don't have to have wonderful characteristics to deserve love and a beautiful life. I hope you get both of those things, and if you want to talk more or get more advice or whatever, just ask :)

ugh I hate people who say stuff like that, it can really hurt :/

Oh, Silver, I'm so sorry. I feel like you and those around you put so much pressure on you, and it's all culminating in this disaster. *optional very-warm-hugs and a cup of tea* Do you wanna talk about it? 

seconding what Jaybells said. also, it really does sound like you have a lot of pressure on you. I know you haven't wanted to in the past, but I really really think you need to lessen that. Do you like your school? I think it's your last year, but honestly it sounds like the pressure is so much that you might want to look into other schools? You don't even have to do anything, just consider it. Because I don't think, in general, that you'd want to give up your personal goals. do you think there's anyone at school you could talk to? Maybe one of the teachers? Maybe they could figure something out? idk, it just sounds like school is so much to deal with for you. i'm not trying to pressure you, but: why wouldn't you want to try another one? Or find a way to lessen how much you have to deal with? I'm genuinely asking, because figuring that out could at least potentially at least give you a little insight. like if it's because you think someone would be upset with you, if they actually would be, well you can tell that's a problem with them; if it's because you think you have to be perfect or the best at everything you can try to realize that you don't have to be; etc.

also i think in the past you didn't want to talk to your parents because you didn't want them to worry (or something like that), but even if you just mentioned that all the pressure had been making it hard to do your schoolwork, do you think they could help? i think you had a problem with getting stressed if one of your parents rose their voice at all (side note, if it is more than just tone of voice and they're actually upset, then that might change things here), but since i think it was only one of them, maybe just talking to the other would be easier. you've made it sound like they care about you, so they really might be able to help.

that's all i have for now, but like Jaybells said, if you want to talk about it any more i'll do my best to respond! for now, it's okay if you're not at your best right now, if you need to rest, rest.

Oh, and I forget to mention my father has cancer again and is currently in the hospital.

*optional hugs* I'll try to write more later