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Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.
"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."
"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed tonight...no wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast."
"You should dye your hair light black!"
"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"
"My goat supply is secure!!"
"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."
"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."
"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."
-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then."
"DEATH PICKLES."
"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."
"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU."
"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick"
"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00"
"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."
"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out."
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
@Cyote I honestly have no idea. I think it was either my brother or Oliver that said it.
"Crazy with two 'z' s cause I'm extra crazy!"
"I let her hit me with hand sanitizer."
"Liam just went around And-" "Uranus!" *Blank stares* "Oh come on, don't pretend that you're not immature too."
(November 30, 2018 - 5:27 pm)
Oh my, It’s been a while and boy, do I have some for you...
TV lady: “Do you have chronic constipation and belly pain?”
Friend:”Why yes, I do thanks for asking...”
Me: “You might wanna listen the [CEnSoReD] up.”
“Will I ever be met with the sweet embrace of touching Fred *proceeds to gesture towards my hair*” (its a long story that I’d love to explain...)
Friend: “Shut your backwards tumor...Shut your Spirte consumer”
Me: “You’re a rapper now!”
“Which side will you choose, Furries or Gamers? Tik Tok people must know before the war gets too out of hand.”
“You should meet Sabrina, she’s a lot like you. She worships Anothony Ramos!”
Friend:“Give me your freaking sketchbook! What’s on the secret page?!”
Teacher: “A secret page? Tell me all about it!”
Friend: *rubbing his face against my tie*
Teacher: “Will! Stop being weird!” (Will is also the kid we told to shut his backwards tumor)
Me (at a restaraunt): “SUMMON THE FAMILY DEMON!”
Mom: “Hãna that was loud! Also don’t say that when you go to Alice’s church!”
Dad: “I would be so proud of you if you did that!”
That’s all for now Seeya :)
(December 2, 2018 - 11:14 pm)
"I must admit, I've never seen apples pop 'n' lock before."
"Das ist ein rock!" "Rocken makin music?" (basically we found a speaker disguised as a rock. not sure what the fake German is for, but it wasn't my idea.)
"NOT THE (censored) PLATFORM AGAIN! I AM GOING TO MURDER THE XBOX!"
(December 3, 2018 - 3:10 pm)
"Santa is not a reindeer"
"I have a head stuck in my song... oh wait."
"Joel's got a dark future... maybe he'll be Batman. Or a hobo on the back of a train."
"I would love to throw a shoe at Oliver!"
"It's good we have Gavin. He keeps us from going to juvie or whatever."
"You should draw Oliver. And make it insulting!"
(December 3, 2018 - 5:47 pm)
Me: -slams locker shut- WHO WANTS TO RAISE A BABY WITH ME
-Me, and some other friends watching a movie-
Friend: It looks like cheese
Me: More like your mom- *topples out of chair*
-me and some friends at scouts-
Me: Hey, Sebastion took your spot...
Friend: oh really? We’re is he?
Me: -jesters to chair-
Friend: oh, ok. -PUNCHES SEBASTION-
Everyone else: GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL
-Gym Class-
Friend: *holds imaginary microphone to my face* Whats your opinion on photosynthesis?
Me: It’s a gosh darn hoax.
“Banana Wiener”
”Use T-pose to assert dominance"
-Keyboarding-
Me, watching a friend play a typing game: Wow, your such a noob
Friend: *gets up* MR KEYBOARDING HE CALLED ME A NOOB-
-Orchestra-
Cellos (enemies):*plays baby shark*
Violas (me): HIT OR MISS, I WANNA BE WINSTON-
Strings teacher: *throws erasers at cellos* VIOLA’S WIN.
yes these did happen and my friends- well school, is scary
(December 4, 2018 - 4:58 pm)
So...
This a conversation I just had at lunch with @Artimerxx
Arti: I'm a cannibal...
Me: What?! *slowly backs away*
Arti: Well, I don't eat other people, I eat my own fingers!
Me: ThAtS StILL NoT gOOd.
Arti: Besides, there are downsides to eating human flesh.
Me: Like what?
Arti: Dieases and stuff.
Me: Yep!
Arti: I mean... I you could just cook them.
Me: WHaT tHE FrICk?!
(December 5, 2018 - 1:53 pm)
SHHHHHH It's not like I was gonna eat you ):(
(December 5, 2018 - 3:29 pm)
Oh surrreee. I know you aren’t gonna eat me. WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER PEOPLE? LIKE THE PEOPLE YOU DONT LIKE.
(December 5, 2018 - 9:05 pm)
Kid in my AWS class: "You're killing our souls!"
Teacher: "Thanks, I get paid for it."
(December 5, 2018 - 8:42 pm)
1. Gavin + Ross = Gavroche (Okay, I have no idea how this even started)
2. "Everyone, break a leg. Except for you, Sabrina. You need that leg. So break your arm." (My friend Sabrina is playing Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol)
3. Laura's 20 children in the root cellar
4. "You can't put him in a BOX."
5. "Bye guys! We have to go open the doors for the dead body!"
6. Figgy pudding (Numbers 7 and 8 both have to do with this)
7. "Don't say it don't think it don't say it don't think it don't say it... [etc.]"
8."Stop turning A Christmas Carol into Sweeney Todd!"
9. "They aren't PAYING me enough to eat the mashed potatoes."
10. Friend 1: "We have to make you look ugly!"
Friend 2: "Wow, thanks."
11. "Neil still sleeps with the Dora night light that his mommy gave him when he was 15!"
Wow. I'm going to stop now before these get any darker.
(December 8, 2018 - 9:35 am)
“Hello, my name is Mark with a C H!”
Significa, not trivia!
(December 8, 2018 - 11:58 am)
Really cool idea. A while ago my brother kept on starting his conversations with "Here see the thing" and I answered "no I don't see the thing". I normaly start my conversations with "well" and since my family is learning German somebody answeres me with "der Brunnen" the German word for the well as in where you get water from. Cool Idea.
(December 8, 2018 - 12:09 pm)
"I found a shoe on the floor"
"I love cheap socks! I'm probably wearing some right now!"
"I describe the Santa that visits us as the one from Elf that smells like beef and cheese."
"You will all die now!" "Uh, no thank you!"
"Don't worry, I'll still blackmail you"
"I am Miss Squirmious the cannibal!"
"The Sneezing Holly Jolly Sparkling Buttless Dancing Lady!"
(December 8, 2018 - 1:36 pm)
It's been a while since I posted on one of these threads! (My legacy!) I actually have a list of quotes on the notes app on my phone, let's see what I can scrounge up. Apologies if I've posted some of these before.
——
"La Croix is just sparkling water that once sat two feet away from an apple."
"I've been lying to my Arabic teacher for three months. She thinks I speak fluent Hebrew. She asks me to translate full sentences for her and I just spout out some random lines from the V'ahavta."
"Nothing boosts your self esteem like hanging out with me!"
"I'm gonna flaunt my abs a bit longer, then I'll put my sweater back on."
"You know how it's Siberia? ANd you know how the pool is Siberia on steroids?"
"I am below average in height, weight, and IQ."
"Gosh, I love watching people eat egg yolks."
"Eli's backpack is bigger than his existence."
"Guys, stop it, someone is going to get hurt!" "Not it."
(December 8, 2018 - 2:29 pm)
"That giraffe needs a cigar."
"Let's get done with ancient Israel and go wash that dog!"
"Does it taste like a yurt?" "It tastes like a shoe store." (we were talking about cashew yogurt)
"When I dance, I look like I'm tangled up in pink and yellow thread."
"Hey, remember that time you took us to that place that you said was really good, and it just wasn't?"
"I'm busy turning a macaron into Carth Onasi."
(December 10, 2018 - 2:56 pm)