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Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.
"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."
"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed tonight...no wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast."
"You should dye your hair light black!"
"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"
"My goat supply is secure!!"
"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."
"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."
"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."
-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then."
"DEATH PICKLES."
"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."
"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU."
"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick"
"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00"
"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."
"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out."
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
@GW, your previous comment earned you 20 points for whatever house you’re in.
(January 23, 2019 - 12:09 am)
What did I say?
(January 30, 2019 - 8:37 pm)
"Is that a jar of dead bats in the corner? !"
(January 23, 2019 - 9:54 pm)
- "I'm made of three ingredients- darkness, hate, and ramen noodle flavoring!"
- "Can we start a conspiracy theory that *gym teacher's name* is actually a demon?"
- Anything to do with the number seventy-twelve (This is from a seventh grade advanced math class XD)
- "mY nAmE iS kA-aReN, mY hAiR iS sHi-InY..." (like ten times a day)
- "Ava has a JoJo Siwa watch that LIGHTS UP!!!"
(January 26, 2019 - 9:14 am)
TOP IT CRICKET TOP IT
(January 26, 2019 - 2:55 pm)
"But I'm a mole! I don't play baseball!"
"It's like if you had a bunch of grey, watery mashed potatoes and took them and rolled them in the mud, and then formed them into a mountain thing, and that's what's outside our window."
"Because he has 'flawless, healthy SKIN'! (*doubled up with shrieky laughter*) "FLAWLESS,...HEALTHY...SKIN AAAAHAAHAAAA...."
(Referring to a puzzle) "You've got to walk across it like you're walking across hot coals."
"No, no ...this is a bed, not the ceiling."
---
Hazel says iian. Who do you know who's named Ian?
(January 26, 2019 - 2:55 pm)
- "You look like Elphaba met Galinda, then ate four boxes of mac n cheese!"
(January 27, 2019 - 6:53 pm)
"Western Fat Squirrel and Eastern White Squirrel"
"It's a PLASTIC SNAKE FARM!"
"No, do it right- like, look at this dude"
"Nitram [spell it backwards] karate-chopped a pancil"
"Hey Oliver I bet my instrumant in heavier than yours" "Oh, I doubt it's heavier than **Picks it up** OH MY GOSH" (So lesson of the day here, folks, percussion sets are heavier than saxaphones, and don't you doubt it.)
"*Holds up Vulcan* May the force be with you *cracks up*"
(January 27, 2019 - 7:25 pm)
- "Heather, Heather, Heather... AND PEGGY!!!"
- "TwIsT!!!" (My chorus teacher said this, and did a ridiculous arm motion to go along with it XD)
- "NO! Who wants a perfect, finished house?"
- "I died because of Dear Evan Hansen. Actually, come to think of it, I die from a lot of things."
(January 28, 2019 - 8:08 pm)
Top to you, my good thread!
"Believe it or not, I actually have two- count 'em, TWO- whole pencils!" "WOW! Can I have one?"
"I lick her."
"Say this but in a different language but with a Britsh accent complete with voice breaks"
"I may or may not have just put an eraser shred in your hair."
"She's dancing with the peanut-eating peasants"
"This smells like pee" "Now smell this one" "Well that one smells like poop"
"If you were wondering who farted, it was me."
"Whatever you're doing, we do not do it here."
(February 3, 2019 - 2:26 pm)
- "Chif chou don't chound like chou chome from Mother Russia, chou're doing it chrong."
- Friend 1: "Not everyone wants to sound like a Russian five year old with a lisp and quote Heathers all day."
Friend 2: "I DO!!!! THAT SOUNDS GREAT!!!"
- "You don't need to use your nose. Ever."
- "IrIdOsIkLiTiS!"
- Friend 1: *scream sings really badly* "See Alice? I can be a SOPRANO!!!"
Me: "First you have to learn how to pronounce it right!"
- Random kid: "When Bob Ross meets Mohammed, what happens?"
My friend: "Oh jeez, let's not even go there."
(February 4, 2019 - 6:03 pm)
Top! To! The! Very! Tippity! Top! With! You! Thread! Now!
"Guys we made the teacher depressed"
"Lunch is a class. it's where you learn how to eat."
"I am... semi-aware of that"
Dude, you look like a zombie who didn't get enough sleep last night."
And now for the bad 'yo mamma's:
"Your mom's a sharpie"
"Your mom's a tennis ball theif"
"Your mom's uncultured swine"
(February 10, 2019 - 7:40 pm)
Why is this still on the second page??? Inconceivable! TOP!
"I'm always tired. Why am I always tired?"
"I have this stupid thing and this other stupid thing"
"Dangit, a random lady got there before me. C'mon, man, we could have gotten it trouble! Why the random lady...?"
"The chili has saved us! All hail the chili!"
"So he walked in, got on the ceiling, then fell down?" "Exactly."
*After seeing Hamilton for the first time*
"Wow, I didn't know King George could sing!"
"My name is Phillip... I am a poet... my killer can't count but I don't even know it..."
*That inside joke about "Bob! The monorail!" from The Incredibles 2, variated to several forms, such as "Bob, mono the rail!" "Rail, the monobob!" Bob, Bob, Bob. The monorail!", and, my favorite, "Mon! The Boborail!"
(February 18, 2019 - 12:49 pm)
"Well, the car smells like old lady, I have the twelve days of Christmas stuck in my head, and my shoes are covering the car in mud. What's the bright side here?"
(my dad and i just finished a shift at an animal rescue where they had soap that smelled like old lady and played the twelve days of Christmas when you pushed on it)
(February 21, 2019 - 3:33 pm)
-"Hashtag Kilt World"
-My friend: *glances at passing car* "Hey, that guy looks like the president of South Korea!"
Me: "That's oddly specific."
My friend: "Well, maybe more like the president of North Korea..."
(February 21, 2019 - 8:55 pm)