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Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.
"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."
"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed tonight...no wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast."
"You should dye your hair light black!"
"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"
"My goat supply is secure!!"
"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."
"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."
"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."
-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then."
"DEATH PICKLES."
"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."
"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU."
"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick"
"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00"
"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."
"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out."
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
"Let's jump into the death pit!"
"Wait...I'm not the only Hana?"
"Oh Well. That was two-hurdred-not-my-dollars down the drain."
Boy (to my friend who wears makeup):You have makeup all over your face
Her:Yeah, that's how makeup works.
"You're my new fake girlfriend!"
My Socail Studies teacher on the first day back from winter break: Yeah, I don't wanna see you either.
"If you don't practice I'll break your knee caps." Reply: "Well that was weirdly specific."
-That time at the school dance when everytime my friends saw each other they pretended they haven't seen each other in 5 years.
(January 17, 2019 - 7:48 am)
(Procrastinating on my English essay... here are a few things my teachers have said in the past week):
”What’s the triangle’s favorite food? Anyone? Guys, it’s shrimp! You guys never listen.” - My math teacher (I don’t get what was going on either)
”This is just a guy with a rabbit head fighting a guy with a rat head. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m more worried about the guy with the oil lamp head fighting the whatever it is.” - My history teacher
”Vanillios” - My friend, trying to say vanilla while thinking about cheerios
(January 17, 2019 - 9:51 pm)
@The Riddler CBering's great! The Outcasts are doing peak (a word I use to imply greatness, superiority... Awesomeness in general) on the *throws hay* thread, come join us, it's fun! Oh, sorry. *Lets The Riddler up* Other CBers coming back from having disappeared is peak, am I right? *Beams because mi friend is back*
(January 18, 2019 - 12:26 am)
"Guys, I have something to say."
..................
"POKÉMON!"
Me: "Knew it"
"I am not obsessed with poop!"
Me: "You wrote it on my napkin, girl!"
"I'M IN LOVE WITH A BANANA SLUG! AND HIS NAME IS BOB!" Ok maybe I actually started that one.
"I'M SO BRUTUSAFUL, SO BRUTUSAFUL......" plz don't ask
"TUMMY RUB OF DOO-OOM! TUMMY RUB OF DOO-OOM!"
"Toddlers! With superpowers! NEE NEE NEE NEE..........."
"STOP DRAWING DERPY CATS!"
Me: "NEVER MWA HA HA"
"DR. VULPIX IS AN ITALIAN SPY! SHE SET OFF A NUCLEAR BOMB!"
Me: "Settle down, Adrian, and go away, nobody is allowed in the Robot Workshop right now"
"DON'T CALL MY BROTHER CHUCK!!!!!!"
"I'm dead inside."
"She will be Mrs. Nguyen!" Sorry my class is obessed with crushes
"Just keep......" OK maybe I shouldn't post that
It's the middle of class (last day before Xmas break) and my teacher is trying to tell us how to play this game......There's a salad sitting on his desk (it's just before lunch)
"OK what we're going to do is......."
Oooh look at that salad!"
"Are those craisins?"
"What kind of dressing is that?"
"OOOH! I WANT IT"
"That looks goooooood"
About 10 minutes later we're playing the game. It's almost over, and suddenly out of nowhere Jiji and James begin to -
"BABY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO...."
- And my teacher is laughing til his face turns red.
Conversations that happen when I'm at school
"Maybe we should get a leash for Mr. McChesney so he won't go to the window and say 'high, high, high'!"
"Oh I can just imagine when James is president....Never mind, let's not go into that."
"Toby has a dark side! One of his jokes is what is black and white and red all over a skunk in a blender!"
"Oh Jiji you really don't have to share that..."
*Toby is grinning madly in the corner*
"...And on that note, let us begin our math test."
*Toby is smiling* *Mr. McChesney turns him toward Landon and me, who are standing nearby.
"Toby, make your serious face"
*Toby smiles wider*
"This is Toby's serious face he is NOT smiling right now."
Alessandra: "I think I would be RainWing, cuz I'm lazy, IceWing, cuz I'm edgy, and HiveWing, since I think I'm decently smart and HiveWings are pretty smart, though I'm not as smart as Cricket." (My friend is not referring to the mag but to Cricket in WOF).
James: "I think you're a mediocre smartness. I mean, you're not known in the class for your smartness."
Me: "JAMES!"
Alessandra: " "I think you're a mediocre smartness...' Don't you see how that hurts, James? Wow."
James: "It would hurt more if it was true."
(January 18, 2019 - 11:03 am)
Oh yeah I forgot....
Ainsley: "Elian do want your face back?"
Elian: "No thanks you can put it in the trash"
Ainsley: "Elian take your face baaaack!"
Later
Alessandra: "I thought he was going to tell her to keep it"
(January 18, 2019 - 11:05 am)
"Dangit! I was trying to Blue Spirit my way into your room... 'cause that's a verb now"
"Failure has one father, which is you, and success is me."
"Can you banish someone from the Fire Nation for destroying your scone?"
"That's a plot crater"
"Hey, remind me not to put the video game in the fridge, 'kay?"
(January 18, 2019 - 12:29 pm)
"Now you're the Anonymous Nyan Cat."
...
"Okay so you know how you were talking about how all of these animals are cute and not something like a blobfish? YOU'RE THE ANONYMOUS BLOBFISH NOW HOW ON EARTH DID THEY KNOW I SWEAR GOOGLE IS LISTENING however, we haven't seen the Anonymous Bowl of Mashed Potatoes come up yet... Hmm."
Legitimate conversation, I'm not kidding. Explanations upon request.
(January 18, 2019 - 1:13 pm)
A whole bunch of paraphrases because I didn't write down the original conversations.
"It's a commuter walrus!"
"It's a scrubby cow!!"
"SHHH! The scrubby cow is SLEEPING."
"Let's rock the scrubby cow."
"What the heck even is this!?" "That's just wrong. Who would want a toy like that??"
"So--so--on the label of the peanut butter jar, it says 'May contain traces of peanuts.'" (This had my friends at co-op cracking up for so long and I was laughing too) "I just like that it says may contain."
(January 18, 2019 - 1:41 pm)
"Prince Zuko is a yurt" (Avatar reference-- my friend was trying to say Prince Zuko is a jerk) (this started a long string of yurt puns)
(January 19, 2019 - 8:28 am)
~ "Azumba got HOPS." (avatar reference to Azula but said wrong)
~ Bo: Remember Julian? The Farmer Kid?
J.Js: Not if I can help it.
~ At random moments in the day a group of about 7 people: "WOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHOAAHAAOAHAAA"
~ "Intensely mowing the lawn"
~ "According to the movies, deja vu is just a glitch in the Matrix."
~ Cate: Is this a Queen song?
Pete: No, it's HEYYEYAAAEYAAAEYAEYAA by He-Man.
~ "The Tigers have built DEADLY WELLS."
~ "Lemme use my Mechanic Cheek"
~ "WHY DID YOU BREAK HIS SELFIE STICK?!?!?!"
~ "When in doubt, go... build some self-confidence."
~ "IT SAYS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, YA DINGLE BERRY!"
~ "It's PIZZA TIME, *muffled word shouted into jacket*"
~ "DO NOT TOUCH SEQUISHA! SEQUISHA IS SACRED!"
~ "Hey, wanna join my cult?"
~ "According to the movies, deja vu is just a glitch in the Matrix."
~ "Sometimes the best offense is a good defense, and sometimes the best offense is a pit full of angry tigers."
~My coach (Very loudly and suddenly): MR. PARKER!
Me: GAH! I DIDN'T DO IT!
My coach (laughing): Relax, I was just saying hello.
~ *about seven people singing/yelling simeltaniously* "JUDGMENT! KNIGHTS OF THUNDEEEEEER!"
~ "According to the movies, deja vu is just a glitch in the Matrix."
~ "Death is the best!"
~ "According to the movies, deja vu is just a glitch in the Matrix."
~ Pete: Isaac, what exactly IS a yoink-a-doink?
Me: OK, so get a Yoink, a Doink, and an A, then you smush 'em together
Pete: I'm just gonna pretend it's a badger.
~ Pete: You didnt *gasp* GET AN INSTANT GRAM??!?!?!
Me: I did, actually.
Pete (pointing at me in mock shock [ha, mock shock]): SACRILIDGE!!!!!!!
(January 19, 2019 - 3:12 pm)
A real conversation
Friend: I still like Frozen. Let it go.
Me: Really.
Friend: Yeah...Sorry.
I will avenge
(January 20, 2019 - 8:08 am)
"GAVIN TEACH ME HOW TO DEFAULT DANCE"
"You can't fix a pencil with whiteout" "HE CAN AND HE WILL"
"Ohmygosh, Oliver looks so derpy!"
"What did you just eat?" "*muffled from laughter* A piece of paper"
"Spoons are in my purse"
"I don't speak english" "you say in english" "oh right"
"Sloup"
(January 21, 2019 - 1:35 pm)
"I slipped, and fell, and DIED"
"While I go to the bathroom make sure you don't slip and fall and die!"
"I already did, multiple times. There's no changing that!"
~~~~~~~
"Artistic Llamas. Very nice. Very nice."
"He started out a sausage dog. Now he's a meatball."
"I like the sound of a bacon acheivment."
"Sincerly...GAY!"
"This girl started calling me senpai and...I understand just about as much as you do."
(January 21, 2019 - 7:09 pm)
"Welp, Imma go meme Frozen 2 into oblivion. WHO'S WITH ME"
"My liege, it is not proper for one of your standard to be bawling on the floor, now get thineself up and dust thineself off."
"Unique-ivity"
"Holy biScUItS!"
"Remember kids: due tomorrow, do tomorrow!"
"Neet as yeeeeet"
"I have a resting face that's not good"
"BeArC@t???"
(January 21, 2019 - 9:41 pm)
@GW and Fleet Oh, are you guys both Avatar fans too? Awesome! (no spoilers pls I'm only like halfway through the second season)
Friend: "It smells like old feet over here" Me: "Well that's prolly because of the abundance of old feet." Friend: "OH."
"Can I refrigerate your face?" (this was totally out of nowhere btw)
"Natasha, don't give the stormtrooper more PTSD!" (this was to my cat, who was attacking a stormtrooper action figure)
(January 22, 2019 - 12:58 pm)