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Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.
"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."
"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed tonight...no wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast."
"You should dye your hair light black!"
"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"
"My goat supply is secure!!"
"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."
"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."
"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."
-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then."
"DEATH PICKLES."
"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."
"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU."
"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick"
"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00"
"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."
"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out."
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
Funny things that have been said, day before Thanksgiving edition
*shrinks back from raw turkey* "Oh, it's cavernous."
"Are you making dough burgers?"
"--the pumpkin I'm going to have to throw out--and by throw I literally mean throw. Into the woods."
"But you can't speak poorly of the herbs!" "OH YES I CAN"
--There were also a lot of awful herb puns, which I don't have the thyme to mention right now.
(November 22, 2018 - 9:52 am)
OH MY GOSH IS SANS YOUR TEACHER ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE PLAYED UNDERTALE WILL KNOW WHAT I AM SCREECHING ABOUT
(November 25, 2018 - 5:41 pm)
Nope, sorry, I don't know what you're screeching about.
(November 26, 2018 - 10:41 am)
Prepare yourselves.
"I am a freaking fool. Not just a fool, a freaking fool."
"Mom, I'm late for my funeral!"
"AGGRESSIVE TORTUGAS"
"I'm just making sure Tommy doesn't use it as a hurdle."
"NERDAFREAK"
"Delicious boots"
"It looks like she's trying to pick her boogers"
"I'm going to watch you make toast."
"I wanna bathe in popcorn!"
"Hey, my pants!"
"I'm the female lumberjack Justin Beiber!"
"Give me impulsive waffles!"
"PONDER THE MEANING OF LIFE!"
(November 25, 2018 - 2:01 pm)
"Why are you pounding your pig?" "I'm shaping it!"
"I don't care that you broke your elbow!" "I know. I was in the hospital and you weren't there."
"The ground is vibrating!!!"
N: "Welcome back!" M: "Do you NEED something?!" Me: "Oh you have two space ships now!"
"Raptors don't breathe when they make noises. Thats why they're all dead."
Cardinal says "vgka". VODKA??!! BRIAN WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER??
(November 27, 2018 - 2:37 am)
Why do I keep getting more of these?
-WE ARE PUTTING ALL OF YOU IN BOXES!
-On friday we will get the boxes!
-ITS SUNNING OUTSIDE
-Teacher: You all are being so disrespectfull right now!" My friend: *mutters* "no we're not" Teacher: "Yes you are! Now we will have a silent work period!" *Me dieing of laughter*
-*playing pictionary with friends* one friend: "Is that a burrito?" Second friend: "NO ITS NOT A BURRITO! JUST BECAUSE THAT LAST ONE WAS RICE DOESN'T MEAN THAT THIS ONE IS BURRITO"
-"Does anyone remember the time when we were at that place and bought that thing for that person? No one? Are you kidding me! No one remembers that time at the place?"
Yes there is a box reference. Don't ask.
(November 27, 2018 - 5:16 pm)
Most of these are from my awesome and hilarious friend Izzy. Thanks Izz:)
"Wait why did he-CRASH oh the cow got moved"
"I am disappointed in the school" Inside joke
"The doors were down and the shades were locked" (I start laughing) "I mean.. You know"
"My toung is hot"
"Stop singing on the radio"
"I have dealt with this teacher to the sky and I finally just am going to scream ART at him to make him loook like the duck that he is" (please don't ask"
"Catherine!!! Why did you cut my perfect purple paper"
"I just can't fit a hat over this hair"
"What about showering?"
"What is the big deal anyway, Tacos and Meatballs are the same thing in the end anyway."
"Wait did you see him rub her leg?"
"Those socks make your legs look real good"
"Dont talk to the wall on sunday"
"No cunfuzzeled and confussed are not the same."
(November 27, 2018 - 7:40 pm)
From Thanksgiving:
"Spiderman fell off the wall. Spiderman is depressed." (from me trying to climb up the wall of a hotel pool and falling off)
"hey look i'm holding my shirt" "why?" "idk" (playing multiplayer Minecraft w/ my cousin Hannah)
"Spiderman wants Casey's breakfast pizza." "Wow, Spiderman is really depressed."
More will probably come later when I remember them.
(November 28, 2018 - 5:33 pm)
"Death has cometh upon me!"
"Uranus us a very large and gaseous planet"
"Smell ya later, Logan!"
"Thank you for causing Oliver pain!"
"Nani" "nuni?" "Nani" "ninny?" "Nani" "nutty?" "Nani "nooty?" "Nani" "no you!" "... I give up!"
"Why is life so... life-ey?"
"And suddenly, pineapples."
"Josie is the one and only demented chicken."
"Therefore, I am a moosen."
(November 28, 2018 - 6:26 pm)
Yesss. "Suddenly, pineapples." Asdfmovie is quite good.
ywet
(November 29, 2018 - 3:06 pm)
Second time someone's brought that up about my comments on here. I am not of that Fandom.
(mweb)
(November 30, 2018 - 8:20 am)
Wait, then what's the reason behind it?
eyop
(November 30, 2018 - 1:21 pm)
"Oh no, <my little brother> is a pile of ash in the backseat!"
(November 29, 2018 - 12:06 pm)
"Are you carrying Dan Reynolds' socks?"
"COULD YOU QUIT TALKING ABOUT BUCKY'S BUTT?!"
"I'm feeling chaotic neutral today."
"It's a resurrected turkey!"
"It looks like a concrete monster threw up."
"Yeah, I don't think Atton would survive spanking Revan..." (long story)
Viri says mozz. As in mozzarella? That's weird, I'm about to eat a slice of pizza with mozzarella on it.
(November 30, 2018 - 1:31 pm)
”Hypothetically, how much do you value your life?”
(November 30, 2018 - 4:08 pm)