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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I read some of our posts of this in this months magazine and thought, "Hey, that was fun, what happened to that thread?" So I'm making a new one. If you don't know how it works I'll explain. Someone posts a fake problem like, Help I have to defeat a cyclops and all I have is a large tureen of mushroom soup! And the next person posts a resoloution like, Toss the soup into his one eye to blind him, Then the person can post their own problem and other people will answer it.
Here's the first one, There is a large robot guarding the doorway to the room where someone will blow up the world, all I have to defeat the robot is a large bag of cotton candy and a small bag of marshmallows. What do I do?
submitted by Forrest
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
So I have been planning a problem 4 a while and there seems to be no new one. Here we go.
HELP! I'm in band and I really wanna practice my trumpet music, and the band teacher instructed me to, but I'm chewing gum so I can't play!! I can't throw it away because I threw all the nearby garbage cans off a cliff, I can't spit it out on the ground or on my case or music beacuse my mom and the school have rules against it, and I can't swallow it beacause I have digestion issues. All I have is my trumpet, my music, some valve oil, and my case. WHAT DO I DOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(May 1, 2015 - 6:59 am)
Put valve oil on your hands. The teacher will let you go to the bathroom to wash your hands and then you can spit your gum down the sink.
(May 1, 2015 - 9:14 am)
*ahem* I am stuck in a tiny room with a locked door, surrounded by landmines. There were originally 20 but Volcano activated 5 and died in the process. Also, the bad guy stole my powers, which I can get back if I get out alive. I have the key to the door, but Volcano accidentally melted it! All I have is a glass pot of matcha/mint iced tea, a spider plant, and the molten key, which is starting to harden into a titanium nugget! How do I escaaaape?
(May 1, 2015 - 6:52 pm)
Quickly stuff the key into the keyhole before it hardens. The keyhole will act as a mold, so you will then have the right key to open the door. Next, throw the iced tea all over the land mines and stand back! The tea will either explode the mines or get them too wet to function, at which point you can escape (avoiding any mines you may have missed).
Hheellpp!! I am stuck in a tree with nothing but a jump rope, six Oreos, a copy of The Return of the King, an empty backpack, and a very confused ladybug! My younger sister has transformed into a rabid hamster and is waiting to eat me at the bottom of the tree, which is why I can't just climb down! How do I get out of this one??
(May 3, 2015 - 12:16 pm)
Throw the Oreos as far as you can. Your sister the hamster will chase after them to eat them. Then leave and read your book in peace.
Okay, so now I have my powers back, but I'm in a worse situation! The evil dude stuck me in a trash compactor made of metal that can only be destroyed with salami! The door is magnetically sealed, and all I have is a silver key that won't do any good, a completely busted car, an empty glass pot that actually isn't completely empty because it has matcha-covered wet mint in it, a spider plant, a horseshoe magnet firmly stuck to the door, and a pipe cleaner! What do I do? The walls are closing in!
(May 3, 2015 - 9:32 pm)
Well, since you have your powers back, you can just summon some salami and destroy the trash compactor. After that, you tamper with the magnetic sealing mechanism on the door and the wiring of the busted car, and use them to hot-wire a distress signal so another CBer can come pick you up from the wilderness where the evil dude undoubtedly stuck you.
For some unknown reason, the Oreos cured my sister's rabies, but they also turned her into a cat-girl. Who is insanely obsessed with poking me. Someone (probably your same evil dude) knocked me out, and when I woke up, I was in an old overturned camper with the door locked tight and absolutely no idea how I got there! All I have is some moldy bread, a can of condensed French onion soup, a toilet plunger, my book (yaaay!), way too many pine needles, and a less-than-cooperative poke-happy cat-girl sister! What do I do?
Koda says unfd. No, Koda, I don't think the UN has its own fire department.
(May 4, 2015 - 3:06 pm)
Pick the lock with some pine needles. Walk out the door of the camper. Eat your soup. Leave the pine needles in the camper. Throw the can from the soup at the guy if he tries to attack you during your escape. Shove the moldy bread in his mouth and hopefully he'll get food poisoning. Strangle your sister.
HELP!!!!! I'm stuck in the worlds largest watermelon, and I can't seem to break the walls no matter how hard I try. A big black seed monster has been created from the seeds, and he is attacking me. All I have is a paper clip, a tuning fork, a pair of broken too-small sunglasses, and a bubble wand. No bubble soap. Just a bubble wand. HEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bubbles cody. Is this a new friend??
(May 5, 2015 - 5:59 pm)
Read your book for a bit, then pour the soup on your sister to stop her poking you.
Then attach the pine needles to the toilet plunger and stab the windows until they break. Then, climb out.
Help, I'm in quite brick room with just a mirror and table! How do I get out? (This one's a classic riddle)...
(May 5, 2015 - 7:25 pm)
Duh.
Look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two halves make a whole (hole). Climb through the hole.
(May 6, 2015 - 12:29 am)
YESSSS HAHAHA
Thank gosh someone else got that. My relatives / friends didn't get it. I think they think I'm crazy.
(Which I am.)
(May 7, 2015 - 7:47 am)
Hello?? Did anyone hear that I'm stuck in the worlds largest watermelon, and I can't seem to break the walls no matter how hard I try. A big black seed monster has been created from the seeds, and he is attacking me. All I have is a paper clip, a tuning fork, a pair of broken too-small sunglasses, and a bubble wand. No bubble soap. Just a bubble wand. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
Bubbles says bhey. Hey bubbles!
(May 7, 2015 - 6:53 am)
Poke the seedmonster with the tuning fork. He will think you are a god and worship you. Command him to break the watermelon, then give him the broken sunglasses and bubble wand as tokens of your gratitude, then leave.
I'm in the middle of a blizzard, and all I have is a roll of duct tape, an arctic fox, and a cinnamon roll! How do I get out of the blizzard?
(May 10, 2015 - 9:08 pm)
Bribe the arctic fox with the cinnamon roll so that it wil lead you out of the blizzard. Save the duct tape because you could really need it later.
Help! My evil lunch ladies are chasing me around the cafeteria with slingshots full of rocks. All I have is a rol of flypaper, a cup of mushy green beans, a chicken patty, and my sweatshirt.
(May 12, 2015 - 4:20 pm)
Pour the sickeningly mushy beans over the sticky flypaper, then throw it at the lunch ladies. They wil scream in agony at their own cooking, realize the wrongness (is that a word?) of their ways, and turn nice again.
I am stuck inside a room full of ducklings under the mind-control of an evil scientist, and I don't want to hurt them because it's not THEIR fault that they're trying to peck my eyes out. the evil xcientist is on the other side of the room, with a sea of ducklings between us. All I have is some toxic bubbles (no wand), a rhino mask, and an unsharpened pencil.
(May 14, 2015 - 9:18 am)
Put the bubble mix in the eyeholes of the rhino mask and blow them across the room.
Jelp! I'm falling into Tartarus and my powers aren't working! All I have is a corporeal coconut, a package of salami that is also corporeal, a non-corporeal carton of almond milk, and four ADHD idiots (i.e., Volcano Flame, Candy KING, Masked Piester, and Devil Owl)! What do I do?
(May 16, 2015 - 7:02 pm)