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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I read some of our posts of this in this months magazine and thought, "Hey, that was fun, what happened to that thread?" So I'm making a new one. If you don't know how it works I'll explain. Someone posts a fake problem like, Help I have to defeat a cyclops and all I have is a large tureen of mushroom soup! And the next person posts a resoloution like, Toss the soup into his one eye to blind him, Then the person can post their own problem and other people will answer it.
Here's the first one, There is a large robot guarding the doorway to the room where someone will blow up the world, all I have to defeat the robot is a large bag of cotton candy and a small bag of marshmallows. What do I do?
submitted by Forrest
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
Is your pie bag filled with pies? If yes, throw the pies and the potato and then run.
If no, then run up to one policeman, put the bag over his head to blind him, throw your potato, and run.
Or, just sit there and rethink your life choices.
(April 13, 2015 - 10:07 am)
Whip up a potato pie and throw it into the woods. This will get the policemen of your trail. Then run to SC and I will hide you in my closet!
(April 13, 2015 - 11:06 am)
New problem!
Help! My tongue is BLUE! I have tried rinsing it off, but it doesn't work! All I have are two pennies, a hairbow, and the candy that turned my tongue blue in the first place.
(April 13, 2015 - 11:08 am)
Tie the hair bow around your tongue. Make a sandwich with pennies and the candy. The bacteria on the pennies should get rid of the blue.
Help! There are cats hurrying me! All I have is their waste. How do I get out? They're really fat cats!
(April 13, 2015 - 12:43 pm)
Okay, I know this is disgusting, but, like, make 'em eat it!! Say it's chocolate, and they will eat it and die!!
HELP!!! The characters from the Cricket magazine came alive and Ugly Bird is after me!!! The buggies are trapped, and all I have with me is a book of Ladybug's poems!! What do I do? I must free the buggies, then get rid of Ugly! HURRY!!
(April 13, 2015 - 2:47 pm)
I'm not trying to offend Ladybug, but start reading her worst poems to Ugly. He'll try to grab you, but will grab the cage door and pull it off. He will then start flying away to get rid of the sound of the poems.
Help me! I am stuck in a cave on an island, with quicksand all around me! All I have with me are a dozen tiny planks of wood, a foot-long cord of rope, two dozen soda bottles, and a slice of cake.
(April 13, 2015 - 6:31 pm)
Mash up the slice of cake to form a paste to stick the togather bottles for a raft. Then lay down one of the planks on the quicksand and quickly jump onto it with the raft. Before it sinks lay down another one and jump on it. Repeat untill you get to the sea. Then put the raft in the water and jump on it. You're free!
Help! I'm in a small tree in a swamp surrounded by two and forty crocodiles. All I have with me is a piece of gum, a paper airplane, a ball of twin, and three Roman coins.
(April 13, 2015 - 8:05 pm)
Chew on the gum and use it to stick the Roman coins together. Throw the small ball down one of the crocodile's throat to choke him, and the give another one a papercut. Finally, use the twine to make yourself a lasso and swing away on a tree branch.
UUUMMMMMM... I'm stuck in the Milineon Falcon with a busted hyperdrive, a panicing Chewbacca, a grumpy and frutrated Hon Solo, who's banging on the engine with aggravation, and Leo Valdez, who is still to confused to really understand the he's in a Sci-Fi movie that he loved growing up. Also, I happen to be holding a LEGO set when I came in, so I also have a LEGO Avengers/Batman set. HOW THE HECK DO I GET OUT OF THIS ONE???????
(April 21, 2015 - 7:15 pm)
That's an easy one. When Ugly finds you, read him the poems. He will be SOOOOOOOOOOOO horrified and get totally distracted with the poetry.
Provided you don't faint from Ugly's smell and Ladybug's poetry, rush over and free tha buggies!
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!
I am on a small island surrounded by giant sharks! They are going to eat me ASAP! I have a toothbrush and a rock.
(April 26, 2015 - 4:05 pm)
Threaten to brush the sharks' teeth. This will make them nervous. Get their attention and move them all in front of the island. Hold the rock behind your back and then throw it has hard as you can behind you. The sharks will investigate and you can swim away!
New problem:
Help! I am going to have to run 2 1/2 miles!! I ABHOR running, and all I have to get out of doing it is me, myself, and I! I have to run in 5 MINUTES! What do I do?
(April 27, 2015 - 10:27 am)
Feign death, as no one will make a dead person run. Or bang your head against the floor until you DO die.
I HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS.
I am stuck in a tiny room with a locked door. I have the key, BUT Volcano melted it! And there are twenty land mines outside, five of which Volcano already fell victim to and deactivated. AND the evil dude stole my powers, which I will get back if I get out alive. All I have is a spider plant, a glass pot of iced mint/green tea (with the matcha and mint still in it), and aforementioned molten key! How do I escape?!
(April 29, 2015 - 6:52 pm)
Please answer mine! I have at most five minutes before Hon Solo completely destroys the engine and Leo is still in a trance!!!!
(April 28, 2015 - 2:01 pm)
Just use the legos and build a box to put the hyperdrive in. While Leo is till dazed, hand him the box and shove him off of the eagle. Then, slap chewbacca in the kisser and punch Solo to get them calmed down. Then let the eagle fly until it gets tired. It'll land and then run for it.
(April 28, 2015 - 8:56 pm)
THE MILLENIUM FALCON IS A SPACESHIP, WILL.
NOT AN EAGLE.
In fact, Leo Valdez is a tech person, correct? So slap HIM, explain it, and get him to work on the stupid hyperdrive! (I recently picked up The Son of Neptune, book 2 in HoO, and loved it from the first sentence (("The snake-haired ladies were really starting to annoy Percy")). Now I've read The Mark of Athena and want to read The House of Hades SOOOO bad because I wanna see how Percy and Annabeth escape from Tartarus! Though I did notice a BIG FAT ERROR in the books. RICK RIORDAN CONFUSED DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY WHAT THE GODS HAVE, WITH SCHIZOPHRENIA. ROOKIE MISTAKE!!! Schizophrenia translates to "split mind", but refers to a SPLIT FROM REALITY. Schizophrenia causes people to hallucinate and see things that aren't there. DISSOCIATIVE IDENTTY DISORDER is where you seem to switch between different personalities.)
(April 28, 2015 - 9:58 pm)
Wow. I am incredibly shocked that you noticed that. That would have never even occured to me.
Well, the M. Falcon has landed safely, so thanks!
(April 30, 2015 - 5:48 pm)