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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I read some of our posts of this in this months magazine and thought, "Hey, that was fun, what happened to that thread?" So I'm making a new one. If you don't know how it works I'll explain. Someone posts a fake problem like, Help I have to defeat a cyclops and all I have is a large tureen of mushroom soup! And the next person posts a resoloution like, Toss the soup into his one eye to blind him, Then the person can post their own problem and other people will answer it.
Here's the first one, There is a large robot guarding the doorway to the room where someone will blow up the world, all I have to defeat the robot is a large bag of cotton candy and a small bag of marshmallows. What do I do?
submitted by Forrest
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
Pour the water on the wood and PADDLE WITH IT LIKE THE DICKENS!!!
(March 12, 2015 - 6:01 pm)
Oh, new problem: I have some rock candy and a jar of peanut butter and I'm supposed to fight a bunch of risen dead! What do I do???
(March 12, 2015 - 10:50 pm)
Coat the rock candy with peanut butter and stick it together to make rock candy missiles! Then throw them because the risen dead are allergic to peanuts!
Help! I fell into a world of nothing-ness and the hole closed over my head! All I have is a small conch shell. How do I get out?
(March 13, 2015 - 12:39 pm)
Put the conch shell over your ear and listen to the ocean. Imagine that you are riding on a wave. Let the wave come to life and sweep you out.
Does this count?
(March 13, 2015 - 3:10 pm)
Yes it does count. Can you post a new problem?
(March 13, 2015 - 4:14 pm)
Ok. New problem: Ahh! A herd of giant moths are chasing me towards a black hole. I'm about be sucked in... I have a giant jar of Nutella. Help!
(March 13, 2015 - 7:17 pm)
Throw the Nutella at the moths, then run in the opposite direction.
Save me! I have to fight an Ultralisk (big teeth, bigger feet, even bigger tusks, 3 tons; that's all you need to know) and all I have is a helium balloon. Help me!
(March 13, 2015 - 8:23 pm)
Run towards it and jump on its back. Tie the balloon around its neck. Jump off its back and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. It will pause momentarily because it will feel tugging at its neck.
Oh no! My legs have been tied up as tightly as possible by a giant, and I must escape the cave that he has put me in! But he is guarding the cave entrance. I have with me my unreliable cat. What do I do?
(March 14, 2015 - 7:31 am)
Ask the cat to attack the ropes. Since he is unreliable, he will attack the giant. While the giant is distracted by the cat, grab a rock off the cave floor and cut yourself free. The cat will knock out the giant, and you can escape.
(March 14, 2015 - 2:11 pm)
Throw the cat at the giant; no matter what the cat does the giant will still be distracted. While being distracted hop as fast as you can through the giants legs and call the cat so that it follows you.
I have with me one large pie throwing machine and a bungee cord, unfortunately I have 1,000 goblins to defeat. What do I do besides just randomly shoot pies?
(March 14, 2015 - 2:36 pm)
hHook the bungee cord to the end of a pie and swing that fruity filling into their sensitive eyes! Also use the bungee cord as a bat and use the pies as a ball. Whack em at the goblins! Or use the hook on the end of the bungee cord to poke their eyes out! Or if all else fails, eat pie and know that you were doing something happy when you died.
HELP! I'm stranded on a desert island with Voldemort and his 200 evil children! All I have is a vase, a cupcake, a jump rope, and a ladder. But the thing is, Voldemort has all 7 of his horcruxes back! And the water in the ocean around the island is freezing cold.
(March 14, 2015 - 3:00 pm)
Scream and panic because there is no way out of your situation.
(March 14, 2015 - 6:07 pm)
Nice xD
Erm...
Do an attack at Voldy's children with the jump rope, then throw the vase at Voldemort's face. Then use the ladder to climb up a tree and quickly pull it up with you. Eat the cupcake and marvel at how clever you are.
Or, don't.
Problem:
I have to battle an ugly purple dragon and all I have is a water bottle, a very large cork, and an extremely blunt axe!
[Spyro] That's offensive!
[HAB] Oh, shut up for once.
(March 15, 2015 - 7:21 am)
Somebody: Scream, because I now know dragons have delicate ears. Wow DNA, your shouting was actually useful for once.
DNA: Why, THANK YOU!! I appreciate your NOTICING OF THAT!!!!
Agent: Did we really have to bring her along?
Somebody: No, but did I really have to create either of you?
Agent: ...
Somebody: So anyway, keep screaming while you throw the blunt axe at its sensitive snout--
DNA: And RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!
Agent: Yes, and it is probably advisable to act like DNA as you run away. In other words, keep yelling at the top of your lungs.
Somebody: New problem: I'm on a deserted island with a 3*5 (15 ft square) sandy beach, exactly one coconut palm with two coconuts on it, and....
DNA: A VOLCANO! About to EXPLODE! And ALL I HAVE IS...
Agent: An Uncrustable and... a Siberian Tiger Creature Power Disk.
DNA: But no CREATURE POWER SUIT!!
Somebody: And no Siberian Tiger anywhere in the vicinity, so it's pretty much useless.
Agent: Oh, and if the volcano explodes, the lava will cover the entire island.
DNA: And I'm MILES from any other island!!
Somebody: I have five minutes and 42 seconds before it blows up, startiiinnngg... NOW.
(March 15, 2015 - 11:41 am)
I think you should just get into the water. I mean, what you're asking is impossible. Get in the water and wait it out. Eat the Uncrustibles so you don't die.
Saint Owl: oh, and while you're at it, drown DNA.
Devil Owl: NNNOOO! SHE'S MY NEW PARTNER!
Saint Owl: even worse. Definietly drown her. You won't have another opportunity!
St.Owl: guys, can you do your plotting somewhere else?
Anyway....
OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED BUT.... SOMEHOW I HAVE BEEN TRANSOPRTED TO THE DINOSAUR AGE AND... AAAAAHHHH I'M IN A T. REX'S MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shrieks*
Okay. I have a small stick (how do I aways end up with sticks?) and two very annoying alter egos who are on the ground and seem to be highly interested in tailing an allousaurus.
Saint Owl: I'm gonna put Devil Owl into its mouth!
Devil Owl: No, visa versa!
*both alter egos get into a fight and the allausaurus picks them up*
St.Owl:
Okay, now I don't even have my alter egos! Let me start over!
I'm trapped in a T Rex's mouth in the Dinosuar Age. If I get away from this dino I can teleport back. But his jaws are closing, and all I have is a five cm, very skinny stick and a tube of sunblock. (where did THAT come from?!)
What do I do?
(March 16, 2015 - 3:22 pm)