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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I read some of our posts of this in this months magazine and thought, "Hey, that was fun, what happened to that thread?" So I'm making a new one. If you don't know how it works I'll explain. Someone posts a fake problem like, Help I have to defeat a cyclops and all I have is a large tureen of mushroom soup! And the next person posts a resoloution like, Toss the soup into his one eye to blind him, Then the person can post their own problem and other people will answer it.
Here's the first one, There is a large robot guarding the doorway to the room where someone will blow up the world, all I have to defeat the robot is a large bag of cotton candy and a small bag of marshmallows. What do I do?
submitted by Forrest
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
Oh! Spray the sunblock all over his tongue. It'll taste horrible and he will spit you out. Or throw the stick down his throat and induce choking and/or gagging. Either way, he'll open his mouth and you'll be free!
(March 16, 2015 - 6:20 pm)
Oh, new problem. I am in Aperture Science laboratories (y'know, Portal) and I must defeat GlaDOS, and all I have is a bit of cake (why do I always end up with something edible?) and a spider plant. WHAT DO I DOOOO?!?!
(March 16, 2015 - 7:32 pm)
Is this a book reference? If so, I have not read it. Not sure what GlaDOS is.
Spider plants are poisonous to GlaDOS (whatever that is), crush it up as best you can, then mix it in the cake. Werever the spider-plant-cake touches the monster/creature/thing, his skin will die and it will cause pain. This will keep GlaDOS occupied until you can find a stronger spider-plant or other weapon.
New problem:
It is 12:55 at night, I realize I left a big part of my writing homework (that is due tomorrow) undone, my room is in complete darkness, I just found out the light-switch will not work, and all I can find with my fingers is what I think is an earring, a piece of string, and a piece of scrap paper. I am supposed to do a creative story/presentation on cherry tree seeds. What do I do?!?!?
(March 20, 2015 - 9:28 am)
Portal is a computer game in which the main character, Chell, must make her way through a series of maze/puzzles using a Portal gun. She is guided through them by GlaDOS. GlaDOS is a robot who, over time, became so autonomous that she gained the intelligence to kill off her creators by releasing noxious gas into Aperture Science Laboratories, the game's setting. The game takes place after an apocalypse. It is a great game, good graphics, I'd really recommend it!
(March 21, 2015 - 2:29 pm)
Actually you should put the bungee cord into the machine behind three pies. When goblins surround it, start it and RUUUNNN. The pies will buy you time, but when it gets to the bungee cord it will malfunction spectacularly and explode in an awesome burst of fire and noise!
(April 6, 2015 - 12:44 am)
I am stuck in a tree with a giant evil bird and all I have is a stuffed animal and a plant. What do I do?
(March 22, 2015 - 9:26 am)
I did some research on the giant bird and from what you describe it is a Roc, a dangerous bird of prey. As long as your stuffed animal is a rodent and your plant a vine, all you need to do is tie the stuffed animal to one end of the plant and the other end to the Roc's horns. Now jump on the Roc's back and as long a the rodent is in front, it will keep flying until you get home.
(March 22, 2015 - 12:18 pm)
What about my problem? is it unsolvable?! Cool!
(March 22, 2015 - 2:25 pm)
Not quite!
All you have to do is simply stay up another 6 hours or so planning your presentation in your head, and then as soon as the sun rises and light comes into your room, work on it as fast as you can and go straight to school. Even if you do a poor job or don't finish it, you'll at least have something to hand in. And hey, you can always do some extra credit to bring your grade up!
(March 23, 2015 - 7:41 pm)
Hey, can I make one. Well, you know what, I'll do it anyways. Here we go
I am stuck in a frozen wasteland and have absolutly no idea how I got here. All I have is one strobe light, a powered wall socket, and a clown suit. How do I escape?!?!?!?! Oh by the way, there is a suspiciosus woolly mammoth watching me as well as the blinking lights in the night sky. Good luck because I only accept a few possible answers.
(March 28, 2015 - 10:33 am)
Dress up in the clown suit and flash the strobe light over yourself. The woolly mammoth will find this funny, and will therefore befriend you. He will run you to safety. I don't know how the powered wall socket fits in. You can install it in your home. It will be quite useful, I'm sure!
Help! I am trapped in a giant's cupboard with nothing but these items: a broken clock, a thimble, a turkey, a blanket, and a screwdriver.
(March 28, 2015 - 10:02 pm)
Let the turkey rot and stink. When the giant opens the cupboard to remove the turkey to get rid of the awful stench (and he will), stab him (not lethally!) with the screwdriver and run for your life. Leave him the clock, he will be curious about what it is and it will buy you time (pun intended).
Dangit. I have to face this army of flesh-eating scarabs and all I have is two stale Tootsie Rolls, a bag of pretzels, and Iron Man without his armor (what?). What do I do?!?! Especially since I'm not allowed to eat Tootsie Rolls, stale of not, or pretzels, due to my braces.
(March 28, 2015 - 11:12 pm)
1. Stick the pretzels together to make some swords and shields. Tear pieces off the tootsie rolls and flatten them to use like putty to hold the stuff together.
2. Ride on Iron Man's back so if the flesheating scarabs attack, you'll still be safe.
3. CHARGE!!!
Ohhhh. I've got three gel pens, a ball of clay, twelve jelly beans, a glasses case, and a paper airplane. How can I escape the army of flying, fire-breathing, tortilla-loving lemmings that have haunted the floorboards and are now behind me?
(March 29, 2015 - 10:22 am)
Simple! Draw some tortillas on the walls, ceiling, floors, or whatever with the gel pens and while they are distracted and their mouths are to busy eating furtinture and things to breath fire at you, stab em with the gel pens, throw the glasses case at them, and throw some jelly beans out the window so they jump out to get them and leave you alone. But only throw a few. The rest you can eat as a reward.
HELP! I was just thrown out the window bye an evil dragon and i was on the 17th floor of a building. I have a long time since I'm falling so long, but when I hit the ground it'll hurt!! All I have is a dead iPhone, 4 crayons, a small box, and a very small turtle stuffed animal!! What do I do??
(March 29, 2015 - 2:36 pm)
Draw a magic rune with the crayons on the iPhone to make it start. Now call the mattress company. Have them come quick and put a mattress below you. Put the title in the box and give it to them as payment. Now go and kill the dragon.
(March 29, 2015 - 4:42 pm)