I noticed you cut your hair,

It looks cute

But, I mean, you always do.

It hangs like a veil, although now shorter

It still covers half your face

When you look down and protects you

From the loud world around you. 

Your deep brown eyes

That glitter

Somehow even though we're in Real Life;

And I find myself drawn that sort of round feel

Your face has

Not that I'm saying you're fat! Just cute... 

I notice the ways your eyes turn down

Thin dark brows scrunched together

In focus as you are absorbed by the page,

Pencil swooping and leaving thin, dancing marks 

I wonder if it's supposed to cover those glasses

That you always take off around others.

Somehow I've noticed the freckles that pepper

Your nose and cheeks, even with the mask,

And I admire how mature and cool you look

With a straight brown bob, a daily-different cardigan

That swooshes and bleeds to your dark leggings and flats;

Even though you think you're no good 'cause you're shy,

And despise the softness of your voice

And feel you're much more childish

Than your younger sister

I wish you could see like me

And know you're beautiful,

Inside and out. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Lol more putting myself in the shoes of my 'pining' charries. WhydoIdothistomyselfthough :')

I love typing hehehehe

~~~~~~~~~~ 

I can feel the cackle trickle out of my soul

As my fingers desperately race

To tap out the repeated beats

In feverish rhythm;

Hoping to erase the sounds escaping,

Trying to cover up the letters before they can be leaked,

And seal them up in a message I'll never see again once it's sent:

Maybe then my soul will quiet.

tears are invisible in the darkness

no one can see the pain that radiates out of her

no one can sense the way her body longs to crumble and fall

no one can feel her despair, hold her heavy heart, or cradle her broken dreams

she's invisible, too

maybe if she hadn't chosen a life in the shadows,

maybe there would be someone who would sit beside her and hold her together

even when she didn't believe she could keep going

but no one can see her face, let alone her fears

and it's better this way 

as much as she hates the dark, she is terrified of the light 

because if she were standing in the sun, clear as day

if all her fears and dreams were written across her face

if she let down her guard enough to be loved

she doesn't think anyone will want her broken, sorrowed frame

and to make herself visible and still be alone is a fate she cannot bear 

so she lurks in the darkness, alone and safe

This is for one of my online friends who deleted her online account. I miss her so much.

when you deleted your account

did you lose your poems?

did you save them on a new account,

or are they all gone?

i’ll never be able to read them again, but

will you?

our document where we met and bonded

is gone.

it was deleted when you deleted your account.

i have nothing left of you.

nothing but memories.

do you remember me?

you were my only friend

(besides her)

but i wasn’t your only friend.

she hates you now. why? 

what happened?

i know sometimes you get . . .

irritating, sometimes you judge

or do something wrong, but 

she does too. what did you do this time?

but i don’t care what you did,

not really.

i still miss you.

you were caramel.

you were roses.

you were scratchy recorded songs and

impromptu conversations.

i know our relationship wasn’t perfect,

but that’s my fault.

let me fix things?

i’m not the person you thought you knew,

i’ve grown up.

you never head a great sense of self esteem.

i wonder if you would be surprised

i’ve been writing poems about you.

i can’t not - the ache is too big

when i think of you.

i want to read your poems one last time.

i want to hear your voice one last time.

i want to tell you i love you one last time.

why did you delete your account?

was it to get away from me?

was it to get away from who you’d made yourself to be?

you said you loved me, but

was that true?

because it was always true when i said it back.

i miss you so much.

do you miss me?

The robins soar through the afternoon sky

Blurs of brown and red feathers

They love to sing, but not alone. These birds, they fly together. 

And each and every bird of wing

that does not yet soar across the sky,

will one day- although it may take a while,

jump- and learn to fly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day,

Long Ago,

Before,

The sky was always dark. 

The sun tried to shine but couldn't find

A way to make a spark.

The moon tried too, but couldn't get through

Neither could make a mark 

Then one fateful day, they found a way

to burst through the endless dark

they worked together, sun and moon, and forever after

the sky was taken by light, and the silence replaced by laughter.

~~~~~~~~

I just wrote these now, no titles yet. Constructive criticism is welcome! 

I wonder how something this broken

Can be so beautiful?

But you tell me it's true, so I believe you

For this moment; frozen,

It's beautiful, you're beautiful

--You say I am too--

So I laugh and let blue and purple wash

Over me

With stars rippling over my skin,

--Our skin-- as we exist,

Together,

Moon-covering clouds nowhere in sight

Believing your words

For a moment longer than we really  should--

Glee and contentment churning the air. 

How can your basic form

Give me so much joy;

Send so many colours spiralling--

Beautiful, unhurried? 

How can your smile send me reeling

And laugh be more contagious and uplifting

Than any disease in history? 

How can those glittering eyes capture the world

And everything worth any meaning

Then suddenly cut a path through it all for me? 

What secret magic you must know

To be so utterly entrancing, shining;

Even as you slip further away.

You wave, we part;

My stomach is filled with

Golden warm light--

My brain fluttering 

Between starry skies 

And warm winter smells

And the first taste of spring rain

And your magical rainbow glow.

Yes, my eyes are filled with you,

Never to let go. 

You squeeze my hand--

It isn't much,

But it feels like every last particle

Of frozen ice is being forced out 

Of my fingers like a squeeze-pop.

You take me by the hand--

Drag me far from home,

But it's you, so it's okay;

Even if you brought me to the ends of the world--

Even if you stole me away to the moon--

I would still let you bring me to see it all,

I would follow you to your secret hiding places

Of my own volition, 

And disappear into a world of magic;

All just for you. 

poetry dump #1

the weird words in italics are names of fonts lol (no hate to pacifico & abril fatface they're just loud)

this is a kind of weird poem but idk i'm feeling weird so there

the ending sucks but i couldn't think of anything else 

-

we dance in the rain like twirling bits of confetti, still damp hours after the sun comes- the pain lingers because it hurt before, it hurts now, & it always will hurt 

(it's an adjective, in other words)

we are just gossamer strands of paper, corpses really, for we come from nature's children that we have slaughtered- black ink bleeds across our smooth, opaque hands

(axes swing like heartbeats)

we say that we're fine but our faces reflect insomnia, blood, depression- the glow of our laptop screens undulating like the frigid water we drown in daily

(learn to swim, they say, but we sink anyways)

our handwriting varies but we cover it up with neatly-printed calibri font; default yet perfectly blendable, as no one likes a pacifico or abril fatface

(not all printers are perfect, though, & sometimes we come out with a smudge) 

yes, we dance in the rain, because if there's eternal dark; then why not bask in the moonlight?

poetry dump #2

this took me like 13 tries to get it right & i just couldnt figure out how to say what i needed to say but-

yeah it's still bad anyways

but i just needed to get it out of my head

--

you are whispering across my consciousness, my daydreams a summer breeze turned to late-night storms, branches lashing frantically as they cling to fantasies while reality rips at their roots;

you say

there is nowhere to go after this, you can dream & dream & dream but you'll live in your parents house for ages because you won't be successful & you're so underprepared

you say

she is never going to be real & you should just stop dreaming about her because she is not a real person; she is just a fantasy you've overanalyzed

you say

hah, bad at writing but you think you're not, plus you never finish anything & you can't even get your ideas down, can't you tell what a loser you are?

you say

stop trying so hard to fit in because you laugh too loud & your jokes aren't funny & you say the wrong things & you look like a toddler playing dress up; how could you think that you can be liked

you say

why can't you just speak your mind already, ask for what you need, let people know you need help, it's NOT THAT HARD and it's getting quite pathetic by now 

you say 

when you cry it's just another plea for attention- even when no one is there... you're just living out your own movie, my god, it's getting too dramatic. the credits scene was long overdue

you say this in a low whisper, yet i can't escape 

you are just voices in my head, yet i can't stop listening