humans. sometimes we're so

selfish. so focused on what other

people think of us that we fail to realize

that they're probably too busy worrying

what we think of them to give more than a second

thought to the things we do.

do we ever stop to wonder if

the cashier behind the counter

has a wife or maybe kids at home?

if he has a dream, a daredevil streak, a dog?

if he's tired or sad or happy or nervous

if he gives more than a passing thought

to us, blips on the edge of his consciousness,

strangers in a sea of unknown,

just more faces he'll forget in an instant?

we're just footnotes on other people's odysseys;

it's the curse of thought: since one knows only what one knows,

one thinks only of what one thinks.

if the stranger is unknowable, why think about them?

it's simultaneously absolutely terrifying

and very humbling. we're so wrapped up in ourselves;

each to their own, each a foreign ship of thought

sailing through the uncharted waters of

life, giving not a glance to the million-score fleet that surrounds them.

it makes one realize how terribly ephemeral life is.

we like to pretend it isn't, shying away from reality with

seven trillion and one distractions, looking away when

we see death in the corner of our eye.

but it isn't as terrible as we think it is. life is terribly short

and terribly sad

and terribly frightening

and terribly hard

and so terribly wonderful.

in the grand scheme of things, the 'big' things -

work and success and school and money -

are really very unimportant.

in the grand scheme of things, it's the little things that matter.

smiles from strangers, trees in autumn, moonlight on snow,

white roses, handshakes, hugs, hellos from best friends,

thank you's, dog tails, bright red balloons, hope -

little moments suspended in time, here once and then gone forever.

sometimes those little moments seem so far beyond our reach,

obscured by a self-imposed swamp of despair and pointlessness.

one just has to notice, and be grateful:

perhaps i am too young to know, but it seems to me

that even a dying man can appreciate

the beauty of a sunset.

I remember when you said

You wait for me forever

I promised I would return.

I couldn't keep it, however.

We were lost

Souls wandering

through time and space

I began pondering.

If we never met back up

In our next lives,

Would we remember or forget

Which would forgive

More?

I worried and worried

Wondering if we meet back up.

Would we fall in love with others?

But I promised you I would never say yup

To anyone but you.

Then in our next lives

We both forgot

I remembered worry,

But for what?

We finally met,

And remembered

We did not need to worry

If we had been unremembered.

We were happy from then on.

Forever together

And so on

Our final death

We promised one last thing.

"We shall never forget".

That could have meant anything.

But we knew well,

It meant we would never

Forget what we had, have, and will have.

Together forever.

What else is needed? 

A Deer

Swift and graceful am I

Quick and troubled by none

With a leap and a bound I am gone

Taking the long way home

Kinda an unfinished poem about a deer that I saw as we were driving up to do some garden work at my friend's grandma's house.  It leaped over the grass and was just so beautiful!

@admins, what do you think? 

@CBers who see this, what do YOU think? 

Sunny says: BAAKA. Trying to be a sheep, Sunny? 

Very nice. I like it. I can see the deer.

Admin

THE RIFT

The rift is forever

you said.

I said that there must be some end.

You said if I went, I would be dead.

I didn't believe all

those stories

you told me

Because you had no tories.

We went in

and got lost.

I lfound a starlight grove

And it was mossed.

The grove was beautiful

And I realized

That you were gone

and I should have never ideaized

We never came out,

But we met up

And stared at the stars above

And drank from a cup. 

i wrote this a while ago but i just found it and i really like it

untitled

The sunflowers on your shoes

are yellow. Mustard & sunshine & butter

mixed together just so like

Only black boots. You only

wear black boots and

maybe if I doused them in sparkles it would

Light blue & white are the colors of

ice & snow. Also when the world shut down

they covered your face and

her eyes are golden. Like a lion

or just a cat, because she’s so tiny.

Golden like a lion because she’s so 

My phone case is full of flowers

but they aren’t made of the sun.  

i don't *think* i posted this yet?

take these broken wings & learn to fly again

i wish i could fly—

maybe then i wouldn’t want to

escape the background noise and

static that changes pitch, but the melody

stays the same.

i wish i could fly, far away

high above this broken planet, to escape

the monotony of this reality & hide

my head in the silver-lined clouds ‘stead of

burying it in the nitty-gritty sand but maybe

they’re the same thing.

i wish that you had perfected this world

before you forced me into it just to

dump a millennia of problems unsolvable and

biases and judgements and opinions, accidentally

sowing seeds of hate instead of sewing 

back together the rifts between us and them.

but then i’m guilty too:

i am young but old enough to change—

people younger than i have changed the world. and

yet i hide like an ostrich that never existed.

and anyways, you imbued in me your passion and your strength

that i might take your broken wings and fix them

and maybe even learn to fly. 

you won't be reading this, but i miss you guys so much and i love you a lot even though i only ever told one of you.

untitled

have you ever loved someone so much you want to cry and laugh and hug the life out of them at the same time?

because that’s how i feel about you and them. maybe it’s because i grew up with you and your faces are my childhood

maybe it’s because i miss you, maybe it’s because you hugged me even though (news flash?) i’m a girl even though you, god forbid

are a boy and maybe it’s because you were my best friend in sixth grade and i miss you so much. and how you can make me laugh

without doing anything at all, maybe because you make me laugh even when i don’t want to laugh

maybe it’s because every time he walks in a room three girls fall in love with him, and i used to be in love with him like that did 

you know that? but you do because like i said i told you a lot, when you were my best friend in the sixth grade. 

maybe it’s because his face is familiar—like even though maybe i used to like him like that now he’s just like a brother i haven’t

seen in ages.

like you, and like the third boy—he’s younger than you and the heartbreaker, and he’s still so innocent or maybe that’s just how 

i see it because he was like my little brother once, like you were my twin and he was eventually my brother too, who i’ll make fun of til

the end of time because with a face like that it’s easy to get a big head.

maybe i love you all so much because you’re simpler times—dancing at bat mitzvahs and chasing each other ‘round the playground

writing poetry and laughing at computer screens, infection tag and laughing i think

in the end i only ever wanted to be your friends, and i just missed you.

or maybe i really did fall a little bit in love with all of you and it’s only now that i just think of you as my long-lost pseudo-brothers

i don’t know but regardless i do 

i do love you so much and i do miss you so much and sometimes i wish i could just turn back the clock to

our days of tag and laughter and kindergarten— 

integrity

you taught me how to fly

a three beat motion in which you were my wings and i was your eyes

and i know we never actually left the ground but it felt like it.

you were old; i know, but still. remember when i’d talk to you even

though you probably didn’t understand what i was saying?

you taught me how to fly when i was too scared to let go of the ground

and you taught me to go with the flow—because sometimes

you have to stand tall, like the oak tree

but other times you have to bend to the wind, like the reeds and maybe the

dandelion seeds, too. in one of the songs i probably sang to you

a lyric says that i don’t like that falling feels like flying to the bone crush

and i guess you taught me how to keep flying and stop falling.

you were your name:

integrity & unity & steadiness & consistency & honesty

and i think you were wise, and even when we made fun of your ears you tolerated us

i hope you know we loved you, all of us. and we miss you lots

but i hope you’re having fun up there, flying. 

~~

(for clarity, this is not about a human.)