how can anything hurt so much without actually hurting that much help

(there needs to be a word for being so uncomfortable you can't do anything but it's not really pain it's just really really strong uncomfort. although now it's more pain. idk if this makes sense)

I just had a panic attack in the middle of class. Also, 11,000th post? Maybe?

Doctor Livingstone, I presume?

Hi!

Back for my monthly CB visit! Wish I could be as active as I was last year but that's not a possibility this year. D: 

Okay guys, imma just put this out there: there's no date by which you have to have your gender and sexuality all figured out! I know in middle school and especially high school it seems like everybody else was done questioning by 6th grade, and theres a lot of pressure to have it all figured out. But it's okay to identify as questioning in college or even later! Take your time! And don't let anybody tell you what you are. You might be chatting with a peer about how you feel, and they'll be like "oh, yeah, you're totally [this label], there ya go, ive figured out your gender for you!" Your gender/sexuality is for you to figure out on your own time, and you can use whatever words you want to describe it. One of the things I don't love is about how there are all these new words to describe gender and sexuality is the way that it makes it feel like you have to have one single word for your gender, and one single word for your sexuality. You can identify as both NB and female, or as both bi and lesbian, or whatever! (And no, I'm not getting into the mspec debate right. If you disagree, I respect your opinion, and I respectfully disagree, and I'm not here to get into a heated arguement about it.) Gender and sexuality are messy things that often don't fit under just one word. Anyways, this turned out to be waaaay longer than I meant it to be, but my point is, don't let anybody tell you what you are, and don't feel like you have it all figured out by 7th grade. <3

Anyways, all that aside, I have something I need your guy's help with. I recent acquired 40 small (3 cm by 5 cm) ace flags made of construction paper. Well, actually 39 (rest in peace, lil ace flag I accidentally left in geometry and never found again), and I need to decide what to do with them. My current options are:

a) tape them to some twine and make a garland of them - however I don't have a good place to hang a queer flag garland so it would just sit in my sock drawer

b) hide them all around my school on Ace week

c) hoard them

d) an idea you guys suggest!

That's all! See you guys later. 

Well my mom just told me that if I cut my hair the way I want to, I'll look like a "dyke (slang term for Lesbian) or transgender" and get made fun of.

Ouch. I'm girlflux, mom. But she doesn't know that, even though I tried to come out and my parents made the whole experience terrible by trying to question me. Like, is it so hard to let me TRY a new set of pronouns? HOW HARD IS IT, MOM? DAD? LET ME EXPERIMENT. AND IF I WANT TO GET MY HAIR CUT INTO A SHORT FREAKING WOLFCUT, THEN IT'S MY DECISION. I'LL EVEN PAY FOR IT, IF YOU WANT. And I LIKE the way that LGBTQIA+ people are dressing now. I LIKE the styles. And so what? Does liking the style make me gay? No, it doesn't.

Sorry.

any tips for making your brain shut up?