Hi Jaybells!! Nice to see you!!

Silver -more on the actual confessions thread but - I really don’t think it’s a good idea to go into debt for college, especially if you’re not certain about what you’re going to do and going to the best possible college for it. You don’t have to go to the fanciest college, and as i said some ways going to a slightly less competitive one could be better if the teachers are good. Could you meet with the teachers before deciding on anything? 

Definitely don’t care about being good at art!! if you don’t want to do it professionally it does not matter at all. i’m okay either giving constructive criticism or not. But either way i’ll comment on things i like :D and if you want a limit (like one thing to work on per drawing) that’s fine too. Or i could just give one thing to work on after a few. or, instead of saying anything about the actual drawing, i could give a few general pointers, which might be better regardless, which would be based on the drawings but not as directly related to them. and as i said, if someone is new at drawing. there's no way to get around it. there is room to improve and that's perfectly fine. also obviously i'm not a master artist or anything! so anyway just don't worry, even if you hate the drawing (possibly especially then) feedback might be useful. and it's perfectly fine if it is isn't how you want it to be. 

How much have you been drawing? I’m really bad at drawing much. I just can’t sit still that long, and i keep having this arm tic in my left arm and i use my left arm for most drawing (though i use both arms) and that makes it hard. I really want to draw more i just get overwhelmed because i have like 20 ideas and i don’t want them to be bad and idk how to fix that. Because if i draw something bad i then have to either rip it up or look at it again XD

Honestly my answer to “are selfies useful?” would probably have been what i said here and uhhh that probably wouldn’t have gone over well but like. WHO CARES. Like to some extent they’re like an indicator species but for society, because like you can like edit them to better fit societal standards i guess, but like… WHO CARES. IT DOESN’T MATTER. i was reading through this book about critical thinking and half of the “controversial subjects” were just like… why is this controversial why does it matter???? Like “should women take their husbands' last names or keep their own”. IT DOESN’T MATTER THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AND IT DOES NOT MATTER. 

That’s legitimately what i would put honestly… i’m uhhhhh not good at doing the normal smart thing. Basically the only time i do the normal smart thing is when i’m too tired to care anymore. I’m more like Hideto than i seem like on here honestly, certainly internally. idk. It’s not like it matters anyway, irl at least i’ll be seen as unreasonable whether it’s actually unreasonable or like panicking because i can’t breathe and my chest feels like it’s dying and i can barely even move so *shrugs* who cares. See look i’m doing the not smart thing again if i actually posted this! I do think that’s probably part of why YA feels so off to me so often - they feel things like a normal person and i just don’t.

also this could just be the YA section at my library but goodness everyone is royalty???? I read more of the actual descriptions this time and like everyone XD 

Idk much about the stuffie lore yet, but they’re adorable and i’ve kept them with me basically since i got them. The fur texture is amazing. I’ll definitely post a picture soon :D 

Also i think Reshinerr would like the “knee-length pale blue dress with flowing sleeves, pale yellow and white lace details, a pale yellow star on a white pocket, and a belt that looks like clouds in the night sky and the buckle is the moon”. He’d choose the first necklace that went with the dress i thought he’d like, maybe the one with the ribbon that i said was a cat collar, and definitely the leaf and flower earrings. None of the food ones though he hates food. Actually he might like boba tea but idk if he’s tried it. His favorite food is li hing cherry :D 

Okay but second act of Cinderella - amazing. For so much of it the music is so stately and dramatic and it’s just the Stepsisters goofing around, and then it gets so magical when Cinderella meets the Prince. The only bad thing is that there’s less Fumi Kaneko, who’s the Fairy Godmother and is so good it’s literally unbelievable. Like how can you inspire so much emotion and sparkliness just from the way you position your arms??? But Vadim Muntagirov is so good as the Prince!!! there’s not as much opportunity for acting as there is as Franz or Siegfried and he’s really good at acting, but the dancing is amazing 

Side note as far as i can tell her full name is Fumi, which just seems strange to me… like usually it’d be Fumiko or Fumie (which is pronounced Fumi-ey, the e is another syllable) or something, so it just seems a bit odd on its own, so i figured it was a westernization, but no i think it’s her actual name. Of course I’m used to very old fashioned names so some of the new common names sound a bit odd to me. Like all the Japanese names in the ski lodge (which are actually just Hideto and Keisuke) are pretty old fashioned if i’m correct.

anyway sorry i posted so much heh. Sorry about all the random outfit ideas for the jewelry XD they’re all really pretty though and look really professional. Like you could make a shop or something, like that kind of professional. you don't have to read them i just had fun 

i'm sorry but i have to post this - we got Fritz a strawberry hat and he's the CUTEST THING. And he was purring the whole time we had it on him??? he's so silly. he still doesn't look strange enough in this picture though (usually he has tufts of fur sticking up and his face is weird and all sorts of stuff) also he has big paws but the sad part is you can't see his teeth sticking out :((( usually they stick out and you can see them and it's very cute 

yes he's very much a baby! he's about 2 years at this point but he acts like he's less than a year XD He sleeps a lot, but he almost puts energy into it. And then he climbs up on the TV and starts chewing on the antannae or the screen or such. And he's very chaotic but also very sleepy. and he always wants to eat. he's very silly. also his eyes didn't stop being blue in the center until he was like a year old, and he didn't fully stop growing until a few months ago. and he's still weirdly proportioned XD have some more pictures!

more kitten boy :P the Stepsisters remind me of him sometimes because the Stepsisters want to have everything and don't want the other stepsister or Cinderella to get it and Fritz wants to be involved in everything and usually steals stuff because of it. He just wants to be in the center of everything XD

more :P

OKAY LAST ONE

I LITERALLY LOVE HIM SOOOOO MUCH <333 ahhhhh hi fritzzzzzz

Thanks for the advice BB! Don’t worry, I have a professional personal college advisor making sure that I get into the best college for the least price. On the confessions thread I was basically just ranting since colleges are soooo expensive now (some of them have risen above $100,000 pER YEAR which is crazy). I have resources and I don’t think I’ll have to go into debt, but it’s just so frustrating because these colleges don’t *need* that much money, they’re just raising prices because they can. 

I’ve been trying to draw more frequently but I really only do it when I feel like it, which comes in random bursts of creativity. 

EXACTLYYY I’m always saying literally who cares. It would be sooo much easier if people just said who cares and moved on. 

ALSO yes everyone is royalty in YA! Or more accurately, everyone is either royalty or in love with royalty. Because often the YA protagonist is just a normal regular girl (<-- read sarcastically) and falls in love with like three royal prince brothers at the same time or something. 

Thank you so much again for looking at all my jewelry and commenting such detailed outfits <333 I read all of them and I love them sooo much!!  I really do want to start a shop and maybe I will this summer (probably not but who knows). I really enjoy it and want to make a new necklace today but don’t know what it should look like- any suggestions for vibes or aesthetics or something? I’ll try and make it as accurate to your suggestion as possible!

Guess what came out last week??? The Outsiders musical cast recording!! It’s soo good and it’s seriously relaunched me back into my Outsiders obsession. I got home from New York on Monday and read the entire book in one day just because I had to reread it. I for real love it so much it’s not okay. AND my grandma is getting me tickets to see it live on broadway this summer I can’t waitttttttt. I miss living in nyc just because I loved being so close to broadway. 

Hope you’re having a great dayyy <33

The “normal girl falls in love with three prince brothers at the same time” thing feels like it’d be a ballet XD it’d either be a horrible tragedy where they all die at the end or pure comedy and fluff. Ballets are great because they can get away with things that would be awful in writing. Like POH Swan Lake is pretty insta-love-y but because of the music and the acting and the way ballet works in general (like the medium) it actually works pretty well. Besides they can’t really have 20 scenes getting to know each other so we just cut to the pas de deux and solos and everyone’s happy XD

how do they justify having prices that high for colleges???

Fritz looks pretty small in the pictures but he’s 15-20 pounds. He’s really big. And he also eats too much, but it’s hard to keep him from it because our other cats don’t eat enough… his fur is always sticking up :D and he drinks your water if you don’t watch it very carefully and shoo him away. There are a few more pictures on Random Thoughts/things :D 

I adore the Jester’s choreography in Cinderella. It’s just so fun and has so many little details and surprises and little changes. and Taisuke Nakao, the Jester, it is SO GOOD! Like he’s pretty new to ROH but he’s been promoted like every year for a few years and it makes sense. He’s just so good. I feel like he’s going to be a principal someday, although i haven’t seen him in any sadder roles (like Seigfried) and maybe he’s not as good at that, but the acting for the two roles I have seen him in were superb. He very much is a rowdy jokester as Jester, but the thing that makes me think he’ll go far is that he kind of backs off when Cinderella enters and the music is very magical and somewhat soft and thin textured, and becomes less sharp if that makes sense

Broadway is fancy!!! Cool!! Somehow i don’t think i’ll be heading to the Royal Opera House any time soon (I mean i live in the US) XD whenever i listen to musicals i start wanting to be in them so i don’t listen to them usually XD I very much like performing. and i love ballet's stories and how the specific medium enhances them - ballet is the only medium that can make a fairytale wedding with no conflict the best part XD And that’s what I like about violin/viola too - the musicality. I haven’t been able to practice in way too long… i was getting less sick and then my mom caught a cold. So i caught it. This one isn’t very bad but it’s still hard to practice

For the necklace… maybe grey clouds and mist; maybe you could make the chain seem misty somehow? Or what about ghosts, and a very neutral but slightly warm color scheme? Or like a framed splash of ink? Or Fritz XD i might draw some of these ideas. Or a medieval crossbow (not a modern one) like in Swan Lake, with black and white beading preferably with feather details and a broken heart charm and maybe something like pointe shoes or something but that’s less important. WHAT WOULD I DO FOR THAT NECKLACE YOU NEED TO OPEN A SHOP IF YOU MAKE IT XD 

Which outfit idea was your favorite?

You’ve gotten me hooked on wanting to make jewelry now but i found a book about it at the library and there’s no way i could do the wire things with the tool thing and *sobs* i mean i should be glad because i won’t be wasting my money on it (i technically should be saving to help fund my violin upgrade XD) but the beads are so pretty??? and i want to make the Swan Lake one *sobs*

i might be about to give a new and improved hot chocolate recipe so if you're going to make that recipe DON'T i barely tested it XD It's probably fine, though it's not quite enough cocoa powder as I recall. Nice for a lighter hot cocoa I think. The new one will be both better AND more thoroughly tested, so. also i actually make it with 1 tsp of brown sugar or maple syrup usually, and i think it's fine but you WILL want more sugar XD i mean i want more sugar too it's just not a good idea  

also is it just me that doesn't get the appeal of non-costume jewelry? Like it's often less pretty and fun, and like... why would you pay extra just because something's gold? is there a reason like durability or something? idk i just think a lot of "fancy" jewelry is more boring and more about having fancy gems than being cool. i guess it's just different styles. and i prefer the more costume-y fun style ig.

also how can i simultaneously be miserable because i want to wear fem stuff and can't and because i want to wear masc stuff but can't... like my mom says she's fine with me getting mens clothes and she is fine with it but i'll be panicking asking her and she's just like "it's fine but you know none of it's going to fit" and kind of laugh and I know none of it is going to fit (i'm roughly 5'2). i'm not even really out because I just - she's more or less fine with me being queer but she has to make everything a big deal while talking about how she's fine with me being queer and then because i'm kind of freaking out and shutting down a bit she's like "i feel like you're mad at me and think i'm opressing you because i can't magically affect the stores' clothes supplies". And then just act like she's being treated so badly. and she wants me to be fine wearing masculine womans clothes and won't even tell me if my clothes are mens or womens but the thing is even the masculine womens clothes are still shaped like women's clothes. and i don't want to be seen as my AGAB but i'm not brave enough to actually come out and such and blech. anyway sorry for the rant. i feel like whenever i post rants things magically become great the next few days... and that tends to be when i'm more miserable strangely... anyway.

umm sorry this is long earlier Fritz was sitting on the chair next to me but it always leans back when he’s on it and sometimes he falls XD 

Sorry that this took me so long (well comparitively) and that this is short it’s been harder to be on here since of all the stuff on confessions. Theoretically, i do wonder where the line between letting people be wrong and not scaring them off and not allowing bigotry is. Because on one hand nobody was trying to be bigoted - many people said they weren’t - but they still kind of were being bigoted. 

how was your open mic thing?

Why does it matter if she’s trying or not? How do you even tell if someone’s trying? Why does the fact that someone’s trying (even if they’re barely actually trying) make everything okay? What even counts as trying? What if she says she’s trying but gets mad at me if i actually want her to do anything? what if she says she's fine with it as she's yelling and getting mad? what if i'm not even interpereting any of this right? what if it's always like this for everything? i don't even know what i'm writing anymore and i don't know how i'm supposed to put this anyway and i don't know why i'm posting this