i turn a blind eye

pretend its not my fault 

like this was meant to happen

and i couldnt have done anything

but its really because i couldnt

be strong enough

and deep down in a musky cellar

somewhere within myself

covered in cobwebs

and buried more than six feet down

i know its all my fault

but i cant let it show 

so i feign innocence and ignorance

and turn away

eyes clouded and blind 

You were not here

I tell myself

Because I miss you

And that I cannot expell.

I never knew you

I tell myself again

Wish for it to be true 

But I know it never will be, so why then?

Why then do I wish

That I never knew you?

You were not my friend

You were not my sister.

You were nothing to me

But perhaps I was everything to you

I cannot ask you now.

I only cry.

You meant nothing to me.

But I did know you

You were here

But I wish it to be false.

I believe you loved me

But that love was not returned.

I reget becoming your friend

For now I will never know

If you did

Because you are dead 

Scribbler, after careful consideration we've decided not to post the poem you just submitted because we find it too personal and serious for Chatterbox.

Admin

When all is lost

It never truly is

For you are lost with it all

Entrapped in bliss.

If you were lost in your mind

Would you wander through deserts? 

Perhaps a find yourself behind

Some mountains?

What is the landscape of your mind?

Is it jungles or savanahs or desserts?

I truly wish to know, for I wish to find

My biome that is within me.

I wish to know how you did it.

How you got into your head

So I can as well.

I wish to go to the end.

I would not laugh if you said

That your head is made of desserts

Or fields of something like flowers

I wish to be in my mind first.

Please tell me how you got there

To whatever it may be,

For I wish to see it

And be free.

You may not have liked it

You may encourage me not to go

But I will so be quiet

And oneday, far in the future, when we meet, I will say hello.

_____________________________________________________________________________

People kept saying my poems seemed dark, so I tried to do one that doesn't seem that way. Hana says {Didaa} She really must have an accent! She probably said Did I? in an accent.

You told me to burn all my letters--

To leave no trace of my life,

So I had no choice but to watch

As you tossed them into the flames;

Now only I know

the words that were once written there,

And can catch a couple charred words from the ashes.

But only I know, and I've already half-forgotten,

So soon there will be no-one left to remember 

Any of my written words. 

I'm so cold;

No matter where I look

There is only black sky

And endless white 'earth,' 

It bites and claws

At my fingers, my ears, my heart;

And the wind tries to chomp chunks

out of my cracked skin,

As if it knows I'm too weak to go on

Any longer;

As if it knows this is the end

For someone who was never strong enough--

And now my insides are chilled to the core

I wish only to curl up in a ball,

And melt-- or freeze-- 

Alone 

Alone 

Alone

It's just too cold. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimer: This is basically a short story, and not necessarily 'personal.' Just told from the first-person perspective for stylistic purposes.