Who wants some... RANDOM PORTAL FANFICTION!

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A Portal Story

By
Isaac Parker

He woke up in a
small chamber. He did not know his name, or where he was, or how he got there. He
tried to talk. “HUACKOGH!” was the sound that came out along with some mucus
and dust in a disgusting glob. He looked around his room. It looked quite nice.
It had a large bed, a mirror by the door, a table in the corner, and a nice
piece of art on the wall. A noise came from an unseen speaker. It sounded like
music. He remembered music. A voice threw him out of his bed and onto the
floor. The voice was masculine with a slightly robotic twinge to it.

“Good morning
subject #2! You have been in stasis for 99,999,999,999,999,999,999 circulations.
The Aperture Science Testing Facility does a test to see if all motor functions
work correctly. Please, look up at the
ceiling.” He looked up. “Good. Now say apple.”

“Apple.” His voice came out raspy and
dry. 

“Now please,” said the voice, “Go get a glass
of water from the table.” He went and got the glass. He took it and drank it in
one gulp. “Goodbye subject #2, climb into your bed and go back into the stasis.”
Subject #2 did not want to go back. He tried to walk over to the door but immediately
fell flat on his face. He tried again. He fell once more. He looked across the
room and saw a device that looked like a chair but had tilted wheels on the
sides. He crawled over to the wheelchair and sat down. After buckling himself
in using straps on the sides, he put his hands on the wheels and rolled himself
to the door.

Suddenly, the room shook with the force of an
earthquake.

HAHAHAHA! More!

The walls crumbled around subject #2. Looking
out, he saw a gray, spherical machine with two bars attached to either side of
one, big, green eye, with a black rectangular pupil. The machine was attached
to a rail via bar. As the walls were crumbling around the room, the machine
spoke. “Hey there, I’m Rick, the toughest core you’ll ever meet. If any pretty ladies
need saving, I’m the guy.” Rick’s voice had a slightly southern accent and
sounded slightly gravelly like somebody who had swallowed a rock. Subject #2 was
genuinely startled. He looked out past Rick out at the other pod-like rooms
that were other subjects’ chambers. He felt a tug in his gut and started to feel
dizzy when he saw how high up the room was. “Whoa there, you don’t look too good,
little man. Maybe you should look in a mirror. Just out of curiosity, can you
talk?” Rick was leaning toward him with a look of suspicion in his eye.

“I can talk. It just doesn’t sound very nice,”
said Subject #2 which led to a hacking fit of coughs. “Sorry,” he said when he
was done coughing.

“S’okay little man, by the way, can I call
you Alex? You look like an Alex,” said Rick.

“Sure.” A slight cough.

“Go get yourself cleaned up, I’m going to go
get the others. I’m an adventure core, built for danger,” said Rick with a
laugh. “I don’t need a break,”

Alex, proud of his new name, rolled over to
the mirror, and saw that Rick was right. He looked a wreck. His black hair was
tangled and unruly. His face was pale and his clothes had tears through them.
He looked like he had been dragged through a hedge backwards ten times, then hit
with a baseball bat. He felt the same way. He rolled over to a small bathroom,
washed his face off, and got a change of clothes. When he looked back in the
mirror, Alex saw he looked better, which didn’t necessarily mean good. While
waiting for Rick, he looked through what used to be the ceiling and saw a huge,
grey, cylindrical chamber that was connected to a bunch of tubes.

This gunna be funn!

Top!

my captcha says maxa. Maximum? Maximum Ride? No offense cap, but I'm not a big fan of the series....

Hi guys.

Yes, I wrote it. Honestly I am blushing right now. You're so nice! Here's some more. This is so much fun! I'm glad you like it!

“Yeah, that’s her chamber,” said a masculine
voice with a light British accent. Alex jumped, or a much as he could,
startled, and saw another spherical robot, similar to Rick but with a big blue
eye instead of a green one.

Alex stared at him in bewilderment, and asked
in a less scraggly, deeper voice, “I don’t mean to be rude, but what are you?”

“I have a name, and it’s Wheatly, and I’m a
core. We’re kind of like a personality injected into a machine and mashed with
a spiky plate into one little silver orb of person, it’s quite ineresti-”
Wheatly tried to say but was interrupted by a loud cry of, “SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!”

Rick had come back with a small party of
cores behind him. Alex looked at the assembled cores. The one who had hollered,
“SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!” had a black eye with several, glowing yellow lines around
the outside of the pupil, and was darting his eye all over the room like he
wanted to savor everything he saw. The second core had a blood red eye and was
emitting a sound that sounded like a growl. The third core had a pink eye and
was saying in a mumbling, masculine voice what sounded like, “The turkey was
invented in 1492 by Albert Einstein…” The last core had an orange eye and was
asking in a child-like, feminine voice, “Ooh, what is that? Who are you? Do I
smell burning?” Rick was looking proudly at the gathering of spheres.

“Well, the gang’s all here,” Rick announced,
“We have Spacey, the one with the yellow eye, Anger, the one who’s always growling,
Factoid, the one who is spouting random gibberish, and Curious, the one who has
the orange eye, and lastly, Wheatly, the one made to counter Her.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know who this ‘Her’
is,” said Alex, mystified.

“We don’t talk about it,” said Wheatly,
quickly. Alex wondered why he was so hasty to answer.

“Why are we all standing around, we’re
supposed to be doing something!” yelled Anger very, well, angrily.

“Amen,” agreed Rick, “You’ve met the gang, so
it’s time to go see the rest of the Enrichment Center.”

“Precisely what I was going to say,” said a feminine,
robotic voice from the ceiling.