Oh and as far as wording, you can create a "prewritten" question so that you don't have to think about wording on the spot.

HI JAY it's been a whileee... ok time for my terrible pep-talk skills~

First off, you are a worthwile person. It might be hard for you to believe and actually internalize, but please just know that I'm not saying that as a little white lie to try to make you feel better—you truly amaze me again and again at how thoughtful, smart, and all-around awesome you are and try to be. Seriously!! You've always been a person I look up to. I admire your persistance, creativity, enthusiasm, your ability to somehow always say the best things when I or other CBers need it—and so much more.

And second—it's okay to be gosh-dang awkward. I know I am and I hate it and talking to people is sometimes so AAAARGHADFSIJDSLFKJeek but so many people honestly just want to help. From what you've said, she clearly wants to get to know you better and she's not going to hate you if you're awkward. She'd honestly probably empathize.

third this is like really brave and I never could do it haha good luckkkkk you got this :D

Ahem. Have a virtual hug.

*gives virtual hug*

We all love you. You're worthwhile to us.

Oh and good luck on your date-thing!

hey, thats cool. i guess the best thing to do is realize that if it doesnt turn out how youd like it to, itll be all right. it wont be the end of the world. therell be other opportunities. also, everybody deserves the sort of thing youre hoping for. ive had first hand experience with ruining your own chance at having something good, because at the moment you cant just let yourself have something good. so i guess just, be your own wingman, not your own enemy. I hope stuff turns out good, man.

Sending some virtual hugs right now! If you don't mind, I will pray for your anxiety and hope it goes away. :)

Do you think there is anyway this germaphobia might be changed by how you know that COVID is past on and even if it was still here, that your body can fight sicknessess? You can keep those healthy habits of 'wash-your-hands-before-every-meal' and 'don't-drink-or-eat-after-anyone', but don't take them to seriously and give yourself some room to breath. If you feel sick, like maybe just sniffles or a cough that doesn't go away imediatly, don't jump to conclusions and say 'I'M CONTAMINATED!', just assume, like I do, that it will pass eventually and it's a sign that your body is doing it's best to help you. Did you know that there are germs on your body that need to be there? I'm no expert, but I think I read somewhere that there are like 14,000,000,000 (or something like that) on you! Don't freak out. And if your use too much hand sanitizer or wash your hands too much, your skin will become dry, red and cracked because you've washed all the healthy oils and germs off of your skin that keep it nice and smooth.

Anyways, one of my better pep-talks (I hope) and please feel free to ask me for prayer for something, anything! I will be happy to do so! 

It's possible that you're simply not neurodivergent, which would be fine, but I agree that it would make sense if you were and that a diagnosis would help you get the resources you want and/or need. 

Hi!

I know what you mean about the way gifted makes you feel thing.  I'm also gifted, not as gifted/intelligent as you are but i'm one of the top of my class.  I'm confused about gifted and neurodivergence because I know that when you reach a certain level of "giftedness" you are considered neurodivergent (like you for sure), and I thought it was everyone in the gifted program but at least half of everyone in my school is so that can't be right.  I'm also surprised that you weren't diagnosed with autism.  After reading your posts, specifically the ones on the neurodivergent thread, i felt sure you were gonna get the diagnosis.  I've read that autism in girls is often missed, but you're a boy so that doesn't help...

Once, I was taking an assessment that covers a lot of different neurodivergencies, and what came back for sure was giftedness, but as for ADHD (i am undiagnosed but after extensive research both me and my mother, a therapist, agree I must have it) they refused to diagnose me because the ADHD symptoms I was displaying were also related to giftedness and to anxiety and depression so they said they could not accurately diagnose me until I was in a better mental state.

Fun fact: giftedness and autism are intertwined and a lot of the symptoms are similar, so it could be that you do have autism but your profound giftedness made it hard to see.  Of course, I'm not anywhere close to an expert, I'm just kinda dumping thought onto the keyboard here. 

Hey man, I'm not gonna give you advice, not exactly, because Periwinkle did a much better job of that than I could. I just wanted to say that I genuinely understand your situation, and not in the sense of "I understand where you are coming from" but in the sense that this exact situation happened to me when I was younger. My parents thought that I was autistic, and wanted confirmation. But the results said I didn't have it. So:

One: I know that there's a massive difference between what you were told, and what you felt. You were told "you probably aren't autistic." But it feels like you've just been told that you are responsible for the things that made you think you were autistic in the first place. Like they're saying " this is just the way you are, you have no excuse." And even though that isn't what they're saying, it still sucks. Allow it to suck. You don't have to pretend that it doesn't! But understand that they aren't trying to hurt you, it just hurts.

Two: It's very possible that you don't have autism, but are still neurodivergent. It turned out that while I may not have autism, I absolutely do have something else, Sensory Processing Disorder. I was able to get the help I needed for that. Realize that there are many possibilities. 

Three: Therapy can totally help. It depends on the therapist obviously. I've had a very bad and unhelpful experience with a school counselor. On the other hamd I had an awesome and incredibly helpful Physical therapist who was also a clinician and helped a lot.

Four: The examiner might be wrong. My aforementioned physical therapist was of the opinion that I had high functioning Asperger's and was just good at masking it. We never got it checked out, because I was getting the help I needed, but who knows?

That's basically all I had to say, man. 

I don't know you very well (having never met you) and so I might be mistaken, but some people have sensory issues and are neurodivergent but they aren't autistic. 

GATE - You may have tested for this. It basically means ahead academically. A lot of GATE kids are neurodivergent.

ADHD - This is usually associated with being hyperactive and very active. But it can also mean something similar to not-very-strong autism, such as it's hard to pay attention and it's usually linked to sensory issues. I have this sort of ADHD.

Anyway, Lord Entropy was right in that the examiner might have been wrong about you not having autism. It seems like the kind of thing that you might want to take multiple tests on.

Aw, I'm sorry, mate. I know it sucks when you identify as part of a minority since you're excluded from the majority, but then when you meet the larger minority community they don't accept you either. It's tough. Really tough, and I totally get it.

If it makes you feel any better, you can take an Embrace Autism test online, specifically the RAADS-R*, a test 'developed to identify autistic people who “escape diagnosis” due to subclinical presentations of autism (usually due to their ability to mask autistic proclivities),' as their website puts it. It's completely free, and only takes a few minutes. Hope this helps some!

And don't forget, we love you no matter what you are officially diagnosed as! You are an awesome and brilliant positive force in our little CB community, Sinusoidal! <3<3<3

*NOTE: I believe this test is only for those age 16 and up.

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