This conquest is dedicated to Quintus.

We are conquering a place that I have no clue how to pronounce. Nunavut. This is Canada's largest province and the least populated. Therefore, I am going to use two major magical artifacts that exist in different worlds. The Shaman's Antlers will turn all the lemmings into caribou (because I think caribou might be more imposing then lemmmings) and the White Wing which will make all the carilemmingbou sprout large feathery wings and able to fly. Personally, I find the White Wing's wing's really silly looking, but it is good for very large groups of things. However, that means I'm going to have to track down the Shaman's Antlers which probably are in the possesion of a rather hostile demon or Pochi. Pochi is a thief. I will track them down, however, and give them to Mag. 

Any way, 24 of the lemmings died last time for various reasons, but I think we have enough to go with right now. So at 12:30 central time (11:30 mountain time, 1:30 eastern time) all carilemmingbous and teams will begin flying to Iqualuit (I probably spelled that wrong) and proceed to run around and cause chaos. At 1:40 a fire will break out in an unused building and will mysteriously vanish at 1:55:23. A 2:02 30 70 feet tall moose will spread out from the city and crash through the countryside. If any CB boys are present, they wil be eaten by a moose. (*hinthint Zach L. hinthint*) At 2:37 several dragons will stage a delightfully epic battle over the city terrorizng the 7,000 some people who live there. Fireballs will fly everywhere. At 2:38 all weapons in Canada will dissappear and be replaced with bananas. Canada will now have a giant surplus of bananas (hope you like bananas, SilverWing, Quintus, and Olive). And at 3:47 I will sit on top of a building and in my best Lord Voldemort voice announce that they have 68 minutes to decide whether to give up or not. If they don't surrender control of Nunavat, then we have a lot of dragons, demons, and a Sugarbowl. Enough said.

Mwa ha ha! Nunavat will be mine! There, Quintus, hope you like this invasion. Oh, and on a completely unrelated subject, Quintus, does the phrase "Dryers, mate! What are dryers doing on the bloody stage???!!!" Mean anyhting to you? 

Red: How many times has Larry King been married? Like, 12, or something? Sakura, do you know how many times Larry King's been married?

Sakura: Uh, Red, can we get down to this conquest please? We're live on the internet.

Red: Conquest time! Northwestern territories, here we come!

Sakura: Troop info: 37 carilemmingbou were killed in the last conquest. Fortunatly, we have recieved 512 more, giving a grand total of 16,793,223,765 carilemmingbou which will reamin carilemmingbou for a few more conquests. A few minor accidents, but everyone is okay.

Red:  Okay! The conquest will start tommorow at 8:40 central time. Carilemmingbou will fly/stampede into the territories. Their sole job is to tear up and down and see what kind of havoc they can cause. The various teams will enter and create a number of illusions/explosions/chaos as well as they can.

Sakura:  And at 9:50 I will summon 53 wendigos to tear up and down the territories and and freeze as much as they can. The dragons will be tearing up and down and scorching as much as they can. Fire and ice moment!

Red: And at 4:19 Pacific time today, I will make a Laplace mail reference and will get whacked in the head with Sakura's planner. Oh, look, it came true. I'm pysic.

Sakura: I think you mean psychic. Anyway, at 10:47 my cat will appear on a dragon and barf all over Canada. She's already practicing today...

Red: And at 11:48 To Kill A Mockingbird essays will rain from the skies.  At  11:52 we will ask them if they will give up. They have until 12:53 to give up. And we will have the Northwestern Territories before lunch!

Red: We are conquering the Yukon! Also, I would like to clarify something. We've been asked many times this question many times, so we would like to clarify something. (Well, actually we were only asked once and the answer was 'why not?') We've been asked time and time again "Why Canada?"

Sakura: "We like to be as close to the Yukon as possible. Uh, and we don't know why we just feel more comfertable close to the Yukon. We like Canada. Canada is a nice place. It's clean and there's lots of room for potatoes and things like that. " Okay. No more quotes from stupid Rush videos for a long time. I promise.

R: Yeah. Okay. Moving on, today we are conquering the Yukon. With carilemmingbou. 35 of them died (ouch), but I think we are okay, carilemmingbou wise. I do not the exact number off the top off my head. No matter! We continue on!

S: At 5:19 today (Pacific time), carilemmingbou will flock into the Yukon swarming the river, urban areas, and not so urban areas. They will aim for Whitehorse to infiltrate the city and plug up communications. At 6:23 all the power in the city will shut off, except for cases when turning the power off will result in loss of life. At 6:24 great giant bubbles of fire will appear in the sky and slowly move around to iluminate the campaign. In addition, some will be odd colors for giving an odd light to everything. At 7:47 odd Studio Ghibli style creatures will appear and frisk around. All throughout, all teams will rush about causing havoc. That's all for today, folks. Bye-bye.

Sakura: AARGH! I hate my English teacher! He went and moved the due date on all those essays back AGAIN! Which means we can't time the Canada conquest to end at the exact moment we turn in all ten of those horrid essays. It also means I will have to go back and add least a page of revisions to each one! The curse of IB*grumble,grumble*. 

Red: Yeah... That does annoy me, but not as much as you. Anyway, I'm excited because we nearly have Canada. Today we will conquer Ontario! 

S: The lemmings have lost 14 from their number in the last conquest of the Yukon. We also got 296 more. This gives a grand total of 16,793,223,951 lemmings. They have turned back into lemmings and lost their wings (lichen and moss is harder to grow then grass). Team T has been sent back to their various games/cards/whatever. The lemmings and teams will be using a teleporter.

R: Tomorrow at 10:50 in the morning (Eastern Time) all lemmings and teams will teleport into Ontario, where they will run to either Toronto or Ottawa. At that point all internet devices will suddenly go dead and will not turn on again until after the conquest. And at 10:02 all of the printers will suddenly break, like printers are wont to do the day before a giant project.

S: At 11:28, Osaka's father will start randomly floating all over Ontario. At 12:36 'Peaceable Kingdom" will randomly start playing (which is pretty ironic, considering the lyrics: Dream of a peaceable kingdom, dream of a time without war)  At 1:45, a group of dragons will start playing a dragon game which involves lots of flames flying every which way. At 1:46, everyone's shadows shall run away to have the day off. And just for fun, we'll create several Shadow Imps to run  around and purloin various items of little importance, such as a half eaten loaf of bread from a wealthy house. At 2:00, Gridj  armed with The Incredibly Deadly Viper with convince the Canadian officials that we have the Sugarbowl, therefore, it would be best to give up control of Canada right now. 

R: Three mintes later, we will go to lunch and announce that we now own the second largest country in the world (area wise). And everyone, who by now is used to our craziness, will ignore us. That's slightly sad... And there will be a giant party in Canada for the people and not people who made all this possible. Next up: Japan!

S: Note for Madam Quintus's idiot brother: We will be moving to Japan soon, so if you would like to come along, we will place dragons all over Nova Scotia  for the next few days, so just use the password: silver and gray Izeno cloak. And then the dragon will take you to Japan. Note: if anyone else tries this (cough, cough Quintus cough, cough) you will be fired to a crisp. Just saying.

Today is a good day. Today is the day I have finished invading Canada! It's been 1 month and 10 days since I've joined the CB, 1 month and 3 days since the war began (Wow, it took me all of a week to start a war. That has to be a new record.), and 26 days since the conquest of Canada began (it takes me a week to start a war and 8 days to actually get on with it. I'm such a procrastinator. And it wasn't even me that started conquering. It took me 5 more days to get my act together and do something. So it's been 3 weeks of me conquering. Wow. I feel so old now. But I digress.) Today at lunch I completely forgot to say anything about owning Canada. At all. Even though I was watching the clock all through English, Math, and Science. I'm slightly annoyed at myself now.  

But we shall not be satisfied with just Canada. Even now, the shadow of SC spreads farther over Europe. We shall not cower in Canada! We shall rush to meet the foe in an epic showdown that will not occur just yet! We are on to Japan! First, we have claimed a giant country for bragging rights! Now we shall get a country with a bunch of robots and cars and Pokemon! (I'm sure that Canada has plenty of robots and cars and Pokemon but, well, Canada just doesn't have the Pokemon Center Tokyo. Enough said.) And after that, a country with some firepower! (this is a war, after all.) And then some random country! And then maybe the U.S. Though, honestly, I don't really care for the U.S.  Hurray for Canada!  Hurray for dragons! Hurray for demons! Hurray for spontaneously combusting people! Hurray for magic! Hurray for creativity! Hurray for middle and high schoolers with way too much free time on their hands! Hurray for lemmings!

I guess this is kind of a speech. Sort of. This is about as eloquent as I get. Next time, I'll leave the speech making to Sakura. My captcha says: Hurray for lemmings! What else coud eimg be besides lemmings? 

Legal stuff: I am going to leave Canada mainly as is, because I could not run a country if I tried. And I don't really feel like trying. So I am asking two things: please do not hurt or kill lemmngs, and do not try to uprise and become free, because that will be a great hassel. That appears to be pretty lenient, if not, Canadian folks, please tell me. I don't really think I'm asking too much. Anyway, SilverWing, Nova Scotia is yours to do whatever you want with it. That means, technically, you could start an uprising there and attempt o take over the army. If I were you, I wouldn't. Plenty of time to steal the world later. I am leaving 50,006 lemmings here (which just came in, leaving the invading army's ranks the same). And that is all I can think of right now.

I just found the goals of conquest from earlier:

1. Get SilverWing to join us. Check!

2.  Laugh evilly. Mwa ha ha ha! Check!

3. Hire Rush to play for us, and only us! And not Quintus! Meh, I don't feel like it.

4. Get Quintus to join us. Nope, didn't happen. I don't think that's ever going to happen.

5. Find a new sword for my collection. No, that didn't happen either.

In other words, 2 out of 5.  pwpt power point

Quintus examined the controls of the V-48 Skyrider. 

Engine. Rudder. Life support. Weaponry. She wiggled her fingers like a maestro. Alright. Let's get this baby going.

She slammed her palm into a large black button. The small ship, no bigger than a van, rose rapidly into the air. Adjusting her oxygen mask, she called up a map from the console.

Green beams of light shot from a lens in the centre of the dashboard, intersecting and diverging, seeming to be one continuous line. The holographic map settled into place across the panoramic windowscreen, veiling every land feature in a green net. 

A knock came from the door. Quintus spun around in her bucket seat irritably. "Come in," she called into the hall.

The door slid open noiselessly, and a girl of about twelve walked in. Her light brown hair hung in waves down to her bright yellow turtleneck collar. A look of absolute skepticism was wrought into her features. 

"Michigan, I thought I told you to stay in the commons where we could keep an eye on everybody." Quintus crossed her arms.

Michigan waved a springy lock of hair away from her face with a blue-mittened hand. "Buckeye's here. Why is Buckeye here? I get enough of him at home."

A biting retort came from the hall. "Because, Wolverine, I happen to be a state as well!"

Quintus sighed. "I've already forbidden you to cross paths, and you managed to finagle your way out of this one. Just deal with it? I know you can do that without tearing each other's hair out."

"Oh, no! She's already turned it blue!" the speaker came into view. Quintus had to bite her lip to keep from snorting. Ohio's hair, usually blond and rather scraggly-looking, had indeed been dyed a vibrant blue.

"Just dye hers red," she replied airily. "I have to maneuver this hunk-a-junk all the way to America without crashing it. Please don't rip out any important circuits. I had to beg the Doctor for the secret fo making something bigger inside than outside and I don't plan on doing it again. Besides, the Internal Auditors and Dr. Scamandros are back in Russia. I would hate to mail you to him in little paper bags so you can get Reanimated."

Michigan and Ohio left the cabin, shooting death glares at each other until they parted at the end of the hall.

The Skyrider sped on through the clouds.

((Going to America now! HAHA! and for those who are terribly uninformed, I have made state OCs. They will be integral in capturing the US. The province OCs, however... *muahaha* I'm waiting...))

Garthwumpian Flopp says vori.

~Quintus!