Okay! I'm done! (already!) So, what do you think?? It turned out diffrent than I thought.

Alright, I have the first draft of my story done!  I will submit it (I am hoping later today) so you can read it and give me your critique.

How is writing going? No rush, just checking in.

Your picture looks great! I'm assuming that character uses she/her pronouns, but let me know if that's not the case. I definitely have a few ideas so I'll probably let you know when I've narrowed it down to one. 

Here's what I came up with.  I am open to critique.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

THIS IS A DRAFT 

She woke up, shaking, curled next to the cold body of her young brother.  It was dark.  The darkness of despair where no light exists.

"Arandell" she whispered, even though she knew it was useless.  Arandell. . . Arandell. . . Arandell. . .   The echoes of her voice rustled across the empty throne hall, sighing menacingly.

She was still shaking.  Whether it was from the deep cold or the nightmare that lurked in the corners of her mind, haunting her every thought, she could not tell.

They will come, a Nightmare Beast hissed in her inner ear.

"I will fight them", she said aloud.  Imbuing her voice with the sound of confidence, though she had none.

The Nightmare Beasts laughed in her mind.  Hollow barks that wiggled and writhed.  You cannot, they laughed.

"I can", she said, but the words barely escaped her lips and they faded into empty nothingness too soon.

They will come for you and you will fall, their voices were a low threatening rumble.

Hatred flared inside Mandia's heart and she spoke.  Her voice burning as brightly as her hatred did.  "I will fight and I will not fall", she declared, her voice ringing through the hall.  "I will fight the Shadow People who stole my brother's breath with the cold of their making."

You could have done more.  You did not do enough to protect Arandell.

Her heart fire was quenched with the sudden rush of black thoughts released by the words of what had haunted her most.

You could have. . . You should have. . . He would have lived if you had. . .  And it was not the voices of the Nightmare Beasts that said these things.

She shuddered, crying out in pain.  The love she had for her brother and the twisting hurt that wrung her heart when she thought of him compacted into that single cry.

You will fall like your family, and the Nightmare Beasts went into shrieks of laughter.  Cruel screams that pierced the soul like barbed lances.

"Enough!", she cried, her voice cracking.  She kneeled, hunched with her cloak wrapped about the ragged remains of her dress.  Despair welled up inside her.  It's fingers closing around her mind, her heart.  Choking her.

"Enough", she whispered.  "Enough."

Slowly she moved her hands, pressing them together and wrapping her fingers around each other so they formed a cup.  She stared fixedly at them, seeing nothing, her eyes turned inward.  Pushing, pressing, squeezing.  Warmth gathered in her hands.

Her lips pressed in concentration as she pushed more warmth to her hands.  The ball of light cupped by them grew.  Grew, until a ball of golden light surrounded her hands.

She relaxed, staring into the glow, as the shadows flew to the corners of the room.  Far from the warmth of the light.  Her eyes swam with the warm brightness and she saw the faces of her family, taken by the Shadow People.

Memories swarmed through her mind.  Of happy times they spent on holiday, the games she had played through the castle with her older brother, the way her mother caressed her hair, the booming voice of her father as he read to her, the gentle fingers of her older sister as she had helped her dress, and the sweet laughter of Arandell as she peeped into his cradle.

She remembered the fear that coursed through their last moments together.  Her father's strong arms around her, the warm hand of her mother as she tucked a strand of Mandia's hair behind her ear and pushed Arandell into her arms.  The worried face of her sister as she wrapped her cloak around her younger sister's shoulders, the squeeze her brother gave her hand as he gave her his sword.  And the last glimpse she saw of them as the Shadow People crept around their glowing forms.

Her father, the King; her mother, the Queen.  Her brother and sister, prince and princess.

I love you.

She knew what woke her.  They were in a ring around her, closing in.  They murmured; a heart stopping sound that swelled, bouncing off the walls and pillars, sweeping over their heads.

We have come.  And their voices were the clacking of a thousand bones, the hissing of a hundred snakes.

Mandia shrank away, the little glow left around her hands dying away.  She was left in utter blackness.  Only the cold, glowing orbs of the Shadow People's eyes broke the darkness.  But their eyes gave no light, they took the light.  Sucking it from the very air about them.  Leaving their surroundings darker than the darkest night.

She stood, gripping her brother's sword.  Her heart pushed against her lungs and throat, it's frantic pulse throbbing through her body, roaring in her ears.  She gasped for air, her outward breaths crystalizing and falling to the floor with the tinkle of shattering ice.  It grew colder, and colder.

The Shadow People shifted, never still for a moment.  Their insubstantial forms sliding through one another.  The orbs of their eyes stared at Mandia with evil hatred millennia old.  Hatred for what she stood for: light.

We have come for you, they whispered.  Shifting as a form materialized in front of Mandia.  Her heart stopped, before her was the Shadow King; king of darkness.  It looked down on her, a black crown on it's head.  She felt herself being drawn to the large orb eyes.  Closer, closer.

"No!", she tore herself away, shaking from the effort.  Mother, Father!  Lyanda, Theran, Arandell! she cried within her mind.  The words of her elder brother flashed through her mind, "Do not fight hatred with hatred."  She knew what to do now.

The Shadow People were closing in on her, reaching for her.  The King was laughing.  Sounds, thoughts, memories whirled through Mandia's mind, blurring together incomprehensibly.

You will fall, they hissed.

She heard nothing, she was reaching deep inside herself.  Summoning energy, pulling it to the surface.  She began to radiate heat, glowing.  The Shadow People shrank back, growling.

Light pulsated around her, she held her arms outstretched on either side of her.  The sword, still in her hand, glittered as if alive.

She clenched her hands, her face tight with concentration.  Summoning the beat of her heart, the pulse of her blood, the warmth of her love, the strength of her memories.  She gathered these things, holding them together as she glowed brighter and brighter.

In the last moment, the moment between end and beginning, between death and life, she opened her eyes.  Blinded by the light she saw nothing, only felt.  Felt her undying, eternal love for her family, for light.

Her sister's cloak swirled around her, her hair flew about her face, her clear eyes looked ahead.

The Shadow People fled away from her, but not fast enough.  She thrust outward with all she had gathered.  Light exploded.  Brighter that a million suns, warm with the love from all ages.  Nothing was, except light and love in an eternal instant; then -- darkness.  But with it came the sound of a singing bird, greeting the sun as it rose to bath the world in glory.  The Shadow People, gone.

They were around her.  Her mother, her father.  Her sister, her brothers.  Mandia, they said.

We love you.

THIS IS A DRAFT 

How's the writing going? Are you closer to finishing?

Hey, how's it going?  No rush, just wondering.