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Day 0This pe
Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
Day 0This pe
Day 0
This person might consider themselves to be an ordinary person, but today the life they have always lived might take a turn for the extraordinary. On May 15, a day like any other, this person picks up the mail. There are the usual ads, a letter from a family member, and- what's this? A letter addressed to the person but with no return address? Curious, this person thinks. Tearing open the envelope, the person reads the letter.
Dear Reader,
If you have received this letter, you have been invited to the greatest ski lodge party ever to occur. We would be very pleased if you would attend. We shall begin on July 15, giving you two months to RSVP. We shall be very sad if you cannot attend. Come, come! Join in our celebration. We have but a few rules:
- In the past, a couple of murderers have seemed to sneak into the lodge and murdered everyone. If you're a murderer, stay away, unless your name is Melody, Red, or BHR.
- It's all fun and games here. No matter what happens, everything shall be silly and fun.
- If you have no idea what I'm going on about, you can read the rules to any of the past ski lodge adventures (the top comment on Pudding's Place should be one). If you do, ignore this and keep reading.
- A new day is usually posted in the morning by me. Every day, a new installment in the story occurs.
- You're very welcome to write your point of view of the day (why most people don't is a mystery to me!) but please wait for me to put the day up first.
- Logic sometimes gets tossed out the window. Nobody needs that stuff!
- I do not pick who lives and dies- my immortal companion, the Sugarbowl, carries your names and I randomly draw them out.
- If you ask me to put a really long, narcissistic, name into the Sugarbowl (*cough cough Melody cough cough*)- Excuse me, I seem to have come down with a bit of a cold. As I was saying- if you do ask me to put such a long name in, I will ignore you and probably tease you about it for the rest of your life. Don't think I won't.
- I tend to make fun of people a lot (*cough cough Melody cough cough*). My goodness, that really is a very persistent cold! Please don't take it personally. Also, I am sure I will mess up someone's gender. Don't take that personally either. I botch personalities and tend to make a general mess of things. Moral of the story: Don't take anything here personally. If I mess with you, it means I like you.
- What a hypocrite- "but a few rules", my foot.
- I always feel like this section is hard to write. Eh, if you don't get things, read another rule page, or ask me questions.
We look forward to your participation. Please come join the show.
-The Omnipotent Narrator
The Sugarbowl is waking up... It is time to choose your own adventure. Will you come join?
submitted by T.O.N.
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
This is FUNNY! Emmet says hrnk I think he's laughing.
(August 5, 2014 - 6:27 pm)
Day 15
She spoke to him before the world fell apart. Mind you, it hadn’t been anything particularly exciting. Someone really ought to tell Blue Fairy that “Put the olives on the table between the chips and the salsa,” are a rather awful set of last words. Those are not the kinds of words you write on grave stones. Those are not words that make their ways into inspirational words that are written in great books and are later printed out onto free little packs of tissues that people on corners accost you with. Certainly, no man has ever ridden into battle yelling, “PUT THE OLIVES ON THE TABLE BETWEEN THE CHIPS AND THE SALSA!!!” or at least without getting an awful lot of funny looks. I think you’re slacking off, Blu.
Blue Fairy’s Ghost: Yeesh, sor-ry! I didn’t ask to be murdered in the pantry!
It seems Blue Fairy wandered into the pantry and found the murderer in the act of preparing a murder for someone else. Panicking, the murderer took her out with a rather large and heavy flashlight. She saw the light at the end of the pantry, at least.
Blue Fairy’s Ghost: Can I have the quote on my gravestone be about barfing wolverines?
Don’t you have better things to do? Passing on, bugging your sister, messing with the government, tipping cows, that sort of thing? Anyway, I think the murderer must have been awfully stupid to hide in the pantry during preprations for a party. That’s like assasinating the president in a theater and then sticking around to see the plot twist. You’re bound to get caught and you’ll have to leave the popcorn behind as you make your getaway.
Moss: Your sister’s dead again, Melody.
Melody: Aw, man, really? That’s too bad. Oh well. I’ll see her in a few weeks.
Maggie: I’m not sure whether that’s the proper reaction or a little heartless.
Melody: Maggie, when you’ve had your siblings die as many times as I have, you get used to it handling it in a mature fashion.
Nina: I’m just wandering through to point out the above alliteration which wasn’t on purpose, thanks for asking.
It is my personal opinion that Melody has talked too much already and therefore someone else is going to be singing the Disney Song today.
Melody: Mmmph?! Mmmph mmph mmphin mmmph mmph mmph mmph!
Bookbug: So. How ‘bout we get back to partying?
Bounty: Hey, guys, I just found some Oreos in the pantry!
Ivy: I’m not eating those, they’re past the experiation date.
BHR: Good, more for me!
Alice: So these are Oreos, Mmmmm
BHR: So these are Oreos
Teresa: So this is what makes life divine
Alice: I’m all aglow, Mmmmm
BHR: And now I know
Teresa: The key to heaven is all mine
Alice: My mouth has wings, Mmmmm
BHR: And I can fly
Teresa: I’ll eat ev’ry cookie in the sky
All three: So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of!
Mag Fan: Stale cookies? Really?
Teresa: You don’t understand! The staleness of the cookie mixes with the original flavor to make the perfect treat!
Alice: Actually, I just like cookies.
BHR: Ah! She’s not an expired purist like us, Teresa! We must shun you now!
Alice: But-
BHR: SHUN!
Teresa: SHUN!
Later on that evening, the skiers decided to tell scary stories.
Reed: Let’s tell ghost stories!
Red: Yes, so one time we met Elivs and another time we all stuffed in Melody and Blue Fairy’s chimney with JLM. I seem to recall dying an awful lot, matter of fact. I should probably cut back on that for my health.
Reed: No, scary stories.
FQ: We saw Melody with too much makeup once. That was pretty scary.
Reed: I’m done trying.
Agent E.W.: Oh, whatcha guys up to?
Ellie: Telling scary stories. Do you two have any?
Agent Alpaca-chan: Oh, I hate scary stories! But I have the scariest one of all time. One time... I was in my backyard... And I saw, the biggest, the scariest monster of all time...
Madline: *gulp* I-it was..?
Agent Alpaca-chan: It was a... caterpillar!
SPF: What.
Agent Alpaca-chan: It was terrifying! Those things give me the willies!
Violet: Wait, wait, wait. You’re an assassin, yes?
Agent Alpaca-chan: Yup!
Violet: Which means you must occasionally not miss and kill something, right?
Agent E.W.: Hey, we do not take being insulted like this lightly!
Agent Alpaca-chan: Yup!
Violet: And the scariest thing you’ve ever seen is a caterpillar.
Agent Alpaca-chan: Yup!
Violet: All right, glad we’re on the same page.
JLM: Oh, I have a scary story. Once in this very ski lodge... there were a group of children just like you come here to ski. Some of them probably were you, for that matter. And then one day... they discovered a mysterious corpse... lying there... and it was... ME! *stab*
Rest in peace, ~Blue Fairy~. Rest in peace.
(August 5, 2014 - 8:17 pm)
What book is the opening from?
(August 6, 2014 - 8:28 pm)
The Scorch Trials by James Dashner. I'm not fond of the book, but it has a nice, unspecific opening sentence.
(August 7, 2014 - 10:12 am)
*peels duct tape off* *crosses arms* I resent this. *duct tape magically adheres to face once again* *mumbles something that sort of sounds like 'Curse you, TON!"*
(August 7, 2014 - 8:24 am)
DEAREST Silveny, (yes, I felt that needed a dramatical flare)
I'm alive! *breaks out singing Kenny Loggins, 'I'm alive'*
SPF has NO respect for the classics, Anne of Green Gables especially. I felt an explanation and example of their wonderful awesomeness was in order. Too bad for JLM. (Though it was rather fun. Evidently, I still haven't ridded myself entirely of my murderous ways.)
I swear, T.O.N. is psychic. How did he know that Teresa and I have cookie fettishes and have had extensive conversations about oreos? That, or he's a hacker. I personally believe both are plausible.
Anyways, poor Blue Fairy, Watermelon, and S.E.. I do believe people are suspecting me of being the murderer a second time. If it weren't so plausibly impossible, I might wonder it as well.
Anyway, I'm going to go stalk Ellie with a crossbow and give anyone I meet in the halls a heart attack.
(August 6, 2014 - 8:21 pm)
This isn't late. Of course it isn't.
Day 16
They murdered him. One minute he was skiing along, happy as a clam, the next he was being pulled back into the lodge to “Put on sun screen, young man! Snow can reflect sunlight and cause sunburns!” “Geez, who are you, my mother?” the young boy groused but wore the sun screen reluctantly. It itched like heck, though. Suncreen shouldn’t itch this much, he thought. Funny, was it starting to... hurt now as well? Suncreen really shouldn’t be hurting, he thought vehemently, he very firmly believed that sunscreen should not make you feel like you’re being burned alive. He would have to boycott the stuff in the future. Glancing down for a moment, he added to his list of beliefs about sunscreen that it should not be corroding your arms and face. Yes, they murdered him indeed- Someone Plus Four was taken out by a rampaging bottle of sunscreen- SPF: Deadly.
Madeline: That’s it. We’re kicking you out for these awful puns.
Nina: Great, now what are we going to do about dinner?
Violet: What about it?
Ellie: We’re out of a lot of food, so we were going to bug the narrator into feeding us, but as he’s kicked out, that’s hopeless.
FQ: Red, can’t you convince the narrator to come back?
Red: Are you kidding me? He never listens to me.
Reed: What if we torture Red to extort food out of the narrator?
Red: No, that doesn’t work either. Remember, ex-ghosts, the “Swedish Incident”?
Teresa: *cringes* No, don’t say anything else. That memory is still faaar to fresh in my mind.
Mag Fan: What was the “Swedish Incident”?
Bounty: No! Don’t mention that ever again! Let’s just say, when you’re a ghost trying to hijack a bus to Disneyland, don’t ever antagonize the large Swedish men, okay?
Bookbug: No worries! Let’s just ransack the fridge and bother the narrator for food when he comes back tomorrow.
Alice: No good. There’s half a jar of elderly mayonnaise, a piece of very old cheese, and a tomato with white mold growing on it.
Maggie: Drastic times call for drastic measures. We may not survive... but we have to do it anyway.
Everyone: *gulp*
Maggie: BHR, will you do the honors?
BHR: Melody... will you make dinner?
Melody: But of course, darlings! I am not only a singing sensation but a domestic diva as well!
Mag Fan: Do I have strong enough insurance to cover this?
Melody: Hmm, what is this “oven” they speak of? JLM, come help me.
JLM: What do you want me to do?
Melody: Cut something up, you seem to be rather good at that.
JLM: ... There’s nothing to cut up.
Melody: Oh, go stab yourself and be done with it! I’ll make dinner myself!
JLM: Gladly.
Melody: I might just cook a special batch of snake and spider stew~ And don’t ya know that one thing that would make it work so nice? A roly-poly Sandy Claws to add a little spice~ Oh hey, a dead cat. Let’s toss that in their. And what is this...? “Mega-Ultraflaming Hot Paprika of Death. Warning: Only to be used by dragons.” Ah, let’s throw the whole thing in there for a little seasoning! Whoo, an explosion! This cooking stuff is fun!
Maggie: BHR, what have we done?
BHR: We have released the kitchen kracken, and there’s no turning back.
Teresa: Guys, I’m ordering takeout pizzas and half a fire department.
Ivy: Have I ever told you I love you, Teresa? Just throught you ought to know before Melody’s cooking kills us.
The pizzas were ultimately delivered via a parachute from Carl, who just so happened to be flying over head, along with a hazmat suit-clad team of professionals, and a note that said, Stay cool, man, it’s on the house. Don’t forget to bee groovy and come again. The team quickly sealed off the kitchen as a biohazard and relocated the skiers to the beddroom portions of the house, leading the kids to eat pizza in their pajamas.
Nina: Now this is what I call comfort food.
Violet: Aren’t we still out of food for tomorrow?
Ellie: Forget about it for now. We can always eat cold pizza for breakfast.
SPF’s Ghost: I died before the pizza got here? No way!
Red: Sorry, little bro. That’s how life works. The boys all die, leaving me to be the pizza eater and the girls’ lackey.
Alice: Put like that, you sound really suspicious.
Moss: Lackey! When you’re done eating, you have to work on Tin Couture’s website page! I want to target an all-ages demographic!
Rest in peace, SomeonePlusFour. Rest in peace.
(August 6, 2014 - 8:42 pm)
Can there be repeat offenders?
(August 7, 2014 - 8:25 am)
Of course. The Sugarbowl is a fickle thing, I don't control who it picks.
(August 7, 2014 - 10:10 am)
Day 17
My children, scions of the ancient Cadmean line, what is the meaning of this thronging round my feet, this holding out of olive boughs all wreathed in woe?
Madeline: What?
Red: He means, “What the pickle are you guys doing, it’s four a.m. and I want to be asleep?”
Yeah, that’ll work too.
Madeline: We demand bread!
Moss: And some ham, cheese, mustard, cereal, milk, pasta, and donuts.
Teresa: Especially the donuts. Actually, it doesn’t matter so much if we don’t get the other stuff. Just hand over the donuts and no one gets hurt.
After extricating donuts from the narrator and the narrator from bed, the ski lodgers hunkered down to vacuum up their feast while the narrator went off for a cup of coffee.
Ivy: By the way, has anyone seen Max recently?
Bookbug: Uh. No. Not for the last five days.
Violet: We should probably go look for her, then.
Bounty, Ellie, and Alice found Max in a wardrobe on the second story.
Max: Did I win?
Ellie: What?
Max: Did I win hide-and-seek?
Ellie: What hide-and-seek?
Max: I was playing hide-and-seek with... with... well, I can’t remember now. But it must have been a number of days that I’ve been hiding in this closet. I wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t for some weird man smelling like a goat who brought me tea and biscuits every few hours.
Alice: Hate to break it to you, Max, but no one else was playing hide-and-seek.
“Figures!” Max cried and promptly fell over dead in frustruation.
Bounty: I blame Alice for this!
Alice: I deny it!
She denies it. Leave out that part.
Now for the show you’ve been waiting for: “Melody’s Cooking Adventures”
Melody: Hello everyone, and welcome to the priemier for Melody’s Cooking Adventures. Here with me today are my gung-ho, knife-friendly friends and assistant, JLM and BHR. Recent successes on the hit reality/survivor/cooking channel, “Cupcakes in the Kitchen with SC” have led me to create my own channel of wonder. What’s on the menu today, girls?
BHR: Cupcakes!
JLM: PASTAAAA~!
BHR: Jem, we already went over this. We’re making cupcakes.
Melody: Now, does everyone remember the ingredients for cupcakes?
BHR: Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature's recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life!
JLM: PASTAAA~!
Melody: I think it’s time for a commercial break while BHR and I have a little *ahem!* talk with my other assistant here.
This program was brought to you by- “Tin Couture- where the stars reach for you”.
Nina: First day back, here we go, here we go, I’ve got this new tin hat, and this little part of me that wants to know, what am I gonna be, what am I gonna do, and will I fit inside this puzzle I’m about to walk into.
Maggie: Hey, kid, wearing a tin hat makes you good at science!
Nina: It does? Wow!
Violet: Hey kid, wearing a tin hat makes you good at cooking!
Nina: OH MY HOLY COW, IT’S A FREAKY TALKING JUICEBOX- I mean, uh, It does? Groovy!
Reed: And when you wear a tin hat, you can be really good at sports!
FQ: You can even be president!
Nina: Wow, look at all the cool things my tin hat can do! Imagine what you can do with your own Tin Hat from Tin Couture! The possibilities are UnLimited Too!
Madeline: Narrator, if you don’t stop writing these stupid puns, I’m going to turn you into a shishkabob.
Now back to our regular scheduled program.
Melody: BHR and I have, sans one assistant, prepared a wonderful treat for our tastetester. Give it up for... Mag Fan!
Mag Fan: Um, Melody? It looks like a squished and dying sausage.
Melody: That shape, you see, represents my crushed dreams and my tortured soul wrapped up in sugary sprinkles and unicorns.
Mag Fan: Really.
Melody: Yup.
Mag Fan: I’m not sure I want to eat this, Melody...
BHR: *cracks knuckles* You talkin’ to me?
Mag Fan: In fact, I think I want to casually run out the door at high speeds. Toodles.
Rest in peace, Max. Rest in peace.
(August 7, 2014 - 11:52 am)
I think the line about the shape of the cupcake is my favorite thing in any murder mystery that I've said to date.
Wait a second... Who inherited Samus?
(August 7, 2014 - 1:07 pm)
Can you believe I wrote a very similar line in a serious essay and got a 100% on it?
Samus is Blue Fairy's wolverine through and through, but she's still hanging around the lodge. She's going home with you, but for now, JLM is feeding her. (I'm picturing that really stinky pet food that comes in a can.)
(August 9, 2014 - 5:34 pm)
[message redacted because it could not be properly expressed by anything but keyboard smashes]
(August 7, 2014 - 1:13 pm)
~Moss's View Point For The Last Few Days~
The past few days have been a blur, and very strange indeed (as usual). Poor Blue Fairy, SPF, and Max have died. And all this time it seems I have been zoning in and out. Huh. And the collection of the carved Disney characters is growing in the Kyra Kave freezer. I have no idea where they're coming from. Today was King Candy in his buggish form. Quite creepy, especially since its articoke eyes are staring at me.
Who could be so cruel as to kill our fellow CBers? I'm fearing the answer is coming closer...
(This was shorter than usual but I've been busy and all, my Internet going out and going to LBI. I need to go to the beach again this summer gosh darn it!)
(August 7, 2014 - 2:07 pm)
Bookbug's Day 16
I FEEL ALIVE!!!!!!! Acutally, I am alive. Mmm, those donuts really hit the spot! i've kept begging the narrator to get some more. So far, I've eaten two dozen by myself. They're better than the ones at Krispy Kreme! Especially the chocolate-covered custard-filled ones... And that pizza! Don't get me started! I'm an avid food lover, if I do say so myself.
Anyway, i felt really bad for Blue Fairy. She was so happy, and Melody was just so heartless! How could she not even feel a shredded ounce of sadness?! And it's her sister!!!! Gah!
(August 7, 2014 - 5:14 pm)