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Day 0This pe
Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
Day 0This pe
Day 0
This person might consider themselves to be an ordinary person, but today the life they have always lived might take a turn for the extraordinary. On May 15, a day like any other, this person picks up the mail. There are the usual ads, a letter from a family member, and- what's this? A letter addressed to the person but with no return address? Curious, this person thinks. Tearing open the envelope, the person reads the letter.
Dear Reader,
If you have received this letter, you have been invited to the greatest ski lodge party ever to occur. We would be very pleased if you would attend. We shall begin on July 15, giving you two months to RSVP. We shall be very sad if you cannot attend. Come, come! Join in our celebration. We have but a few rules:
- In the past, a couple of murderers have seemed to sneak into the lodge and murdered everyone. If you're a murderer, stay away, unless your name is Melody, Red, or BHR.
- It's all fun and games here. No matter what happens, everything shall be silly and fun.
- If you have no idea what I'm going on about, you can read the rules to any of the past ski lodge adventures (the top comment on Pudding's Place should be one). If you do, ignore this and keep reading.
- A new day is usually posted in the morning by me. Every day, a new installment in the story occurs.
- You're very welcome to write your point of view of the day (why most people don't is a mystery to me!) but please wait for me to put the day up first.
- Logic sometimes gets tossed out the window. Nobody needs that stuff!
- I do not pick who lives and dies- my immortal companion, the Sugarbowl, carries your names and I randomly draw them out.
- If you ask me to put a really long, narcissistic, name into the Sugarbowl (*cough cough Melody cough cough*)- Excuse me, I seem to have come down with a bit of a cold. As I was saying- if you do ask me to put such a long name in, I will ignore you and probably tease you about it for the rest of your life. Don't think I won't.
- I tend to make fun of people a lot (*cough cough Melody cough cough*). My goodness, that really is a very persistent cold! Please don't take it personally. Also, I am sure I will mess up someone's gender. Don't take that personally either. I botch personalities and tend to make a general mess of things. Moral of the story: Don't take anything here personally. If I mess with you, it means I like you.
- What a hypocrite- "but a few rules", my foot.
- I always feel like this section is hard to write. Eh, if you don't get things, read another rule page, or ask me questions.
We look forward to your participation. Please come join the show.
-The Omnipotent Narrator
The Sugarbowl is waking up... It is time to choose your own adventure. Will you come join?
submitted by T.O.N.
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
Yessss!!!!! Don Quixote reference! Probably my 3rd favorite book of all time...
(July 25, 2014 - 4:00 pm)
*responding to really old comments because why not*
I do like Don Quixote, but the Rocinante snowmobile is a homage to my favorite band Rush, alluding to famous story songs 2112 (a dystopian story similar to Ayn Rand's Anthem) and Cygnus X-1, a fantasy story about a man who drives his ship (named the Rocinante) into a black hole and becomes a god.
(August 5, 2014 - 12:19 pm)
Bookbug's Diary
I'm unbelievably paranoid. I don't think I'll leave my room that much. Tomorrow morning, I'll ask someone to bring my breakfast into my room. I'm trembling all over. I can't handle watching those people die. *struggles for breath* I AM TRAUMATIZED!!!
(July 24, 2014 - 5:41 pm)
Chugga chugga choo choo!
(July 24, 2014 - 10:48 pm)
Day 11
After a great deal of time examining oceans, investigating rainstorms, and staring very hard at several drinking fountains, the scientists of the world developed a theory regarding how water is distributed around our planet, which they have named "the water cycle." The water cycle basically states that water evaporates up into the atmosphere, makes friends with some other water droplets, have a fantastic party in the sky, realize they partied too hard, drop down to Earth to relax, and do it all again until they get too close to a pole and freeze as ice. Occasionally others who party too hard also freeze as ice, and that is the sad case of Katie, who somehow was locked into the walk-in freezer in the Kyra Kave. Melody and Moss were unavailable for comment.
Mag Fan: Why is so much of this story about anthropomorphic weather?
Ivy: Better yet, who’s good idea was it to put a lock on a freezer?
Violet: Better yet, why would Katie have a reason to walk in there?
Moss: We were storing the ice cream for tonight’s ice cream bash in there. It seems someone was a little too eager to get at the goods.
SPF: Well, with a freezer this close, who needs air conditioning?
Teresa: We’re at a ski lodge. Why would we need air conditioning anyway?
Melody: The cold never bothered me anyway!
Blu: No more Frozen for you. Doctor’s orders.
Meanwhile, the young skiers finally realized what they came to do and set about doing it.
Violet: Pillow fighting?
Nina: Skiing.
Violet: Oh yeah, huh...
S.E.: I seem to remember something like that being written in the invitation.
Melody: Nooo, it’s too cold outside! I’m not moving!
Reed: What happened to “The cold never bothered me anyway”?
Ellie: Don’t worry! You can stay here and play the game of Life with me!
Later...
Bounty: I wonder how their game was going.
Alice: Knowing them, stabbing poor Jem Louise Margaret probably became an event card.
Watermelon: I wonder if they made hot chocolate for us!
FQ: With whip cream on top?
BHR: And extra marshmallows! Narrator! If they somehow fail to be good citizens and stint on the marshmallows, I demand you provide me with some!
This isn’t Burger King “Have it your way”. Make your own hot chocolate.
Maggie: Weee’re baccck! What happened to those two?
Red and Melody: Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me. We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot, drink up me hearties, yo ho! We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot, drink up me hearties, yo ho!
Madeline: They had too much Fanta.
Ellie: You should have seen their version of “Odo the Hero”.
Teresa: I know a really wonderful therapist for this kind of thing, would you like a recommendation?
Rest in peace, Katie. Rest in peace.
(July 25, 2014 - 5:31 pm)
Red and I know how to party!
(July 26, 2014 - 8:52 am)
Day 11
Nothing much happened today. Somehow Katie walked into a freezer and froze there. I was looking for her the whole day, and I finally found her there. Hm. At least now I can leave the door unlocked!
(July 26, 2014 - 10:46 am)
T.O.N. posted at least 3 hours ago but I still can't see the day 11 post! I guess I'll have to post tomorrow, then.
Sorry, I had to go out to a concert and today's installment wasn't in before I had to leave. I believe T.O.N. lives in the Pacific Time Zone, so it always seems to be late in the day for those in earlier zones when the new installments come in. I went out to dinner after the concert and I said to my friends, "I have to get home to check the Chatterbox for the next episode of the Ski Lodge Murder Mystery."
Admin
(July 25, 2014 - 9:01 pm)
Okay, thanks! Sorry, Admin! I hope you had fun at the concert! :D
Yes, an outdoor concert and the rain held off!
Admin
(July 26, 2014 - 10:32 am)
I'm still alive!
(July 26, 2014 - 4:26 pm)
My day 11
I.. will.. never... eat.. ice cream again!!! Poor Katie got shut in the ffreezer!
Oh ok, I probably will have ice cream a time or two, it's too good to never eat AGAIN!
A little while later...
Ok, can ANYBODY actually tell me WHY we were storing ice cream in the first place? It's freezing cold up here and it's a SKI LODGE for goodness sakes! Who wants to eat ice cream when it's already well below 0º outside!!!!
I, for one, am going to start a nice and cozy, simple little fire! And come on if you want to join me.
R.I.P., Katie. R.I.P.
(July 26, 2014 - 4:34 pm)
You know what's the best perk about working on the Evillious Chronicles? You get to borrow the time machine.
I'm more or less completely dead and swamped with work today. Cheers. Instead of writing something like, "Day 12. Today was the day the narrator drowned in math homework. It was a sad day until everyone realized they had absolutely no sympathy for the narrator, finally got through to the snow plows, then returned home to eat hamburgers and play a never-ending game of monopoly. The end." I've decided to send Day 12 through the time machine so it looks like it it will be posted tomorrow. That is a lie, it was actually posted today. The time machine performs wonders.
You are doing a LOT of writing, T.O.N. Take whatever time you need. You don't have to send a new episode each day.
Admin
(July 26, 2014 - 5:28 pm)
Weeeeeeooooooouuuuuunyuuuuuuu *fwoomp* The time machine has landed!
Day 12
The day was grey and bitter cold, and the dog would not take the scent.
Blue Fairy: She is not a dog! She is an embodiment of power, justice, and cute fluffiness in a wolverine body!
The skiers were engaged in a rather unusual activity this morning- rabbit hunting. The cause of this occured earlier this morning, in a bit of “Theo hunting”...
Max: Hey, guys, has anyone seen Theo?
Mag Fan: She’s probably holed up somewhere, feverishly drawing comics “In the name of fine art!”
Red: Ehh, she’ll come back when she gets hungry. Just ignore her and eat breakfast. I made French onion soup.
Melody: Aggh, my head hurts. I must have sung too much yesterday.
Max: Aren’t you guys worried that she might -- I don’t know -- might have been kidnapped by aliens? Or something irrational like that?
Ellie: Heh, no aliens getting by on my watch!
BHR: Oops. I hope whatever happened wasn’t my fault.
All heads swiveled to look at BHR.
Ivy: Oh, not again, BHR-
BHR: Not like that! I wanted to make friends with Bunnicula. The poor thing seemed so lonely, so I taught it how to crochet.
Teresa: Wait, wait, wait. You taught a giant rabbit, despite its lack of opposable thumbs how to crochet? Where did you get rabbit-sized equipment?!
BHR: I didn’t, so it was one heck of a job!
Blu: Well, we can take Samus out and go for a look. Canines can sniff out humans and rabbits, right?
Alas, it seems Bunnicula found Theo before the skiers did -- the giant rabbit attempted to hug Theo, but, alas, the size difference was just too much. In his grief, Bunnicula attempted to run to New York and hang off the Empire State Building and be shot down by fighter pilots, but the skiers caught him first, recommended him to Teresa’s therapist, asked to have Theo’s body back, and let him go on his merry way.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . .
Agent Alpaca-chan: Want to buy an assassination?
Nina: You don’t want to sell me an assassination.
Agent Alpaca-chan: I don’t want to sell you an assassination.
Nina: You want to go home and rethink your life.
Agent Alpaca-chan: I want to go home and rethink my life. ... Wait, what?
Agent E.W.: You fell for their Jedi mind tricks again! All right, I’m handling the advertising next time!
Bounty: Aw, man... we still have a ton of time before the snow plows get here. What kind of shenanigans can we get up to?
Violet: Pillow fight! Pillow fight! Pillow fight! Pillow-
S.E.: We’ve had twenty of those all ready! Can’t we think of something else?
Ellie: There’s always the game of Life.
Melody: WAIT! I have a plan! Blu, come help me prepare!
Blu: Is this the kind of plan that always ends with us standing on our neighbor’s roof, swinging boiling tea kettles and singing songs from “Les Miserables” while the firefighters and the police threaten to put restraining orders on us?
Melody: Close!
Blu: Nooooo, I’m being kidnapped! Sister-napped! Heeeeelllpppp meeeee!
Watermelon: ... So. How ‘bout them sports?
SPF: Is it really okay to leave them? That crashing sound doesn’t sound good.
Moss: Hey, that’s my bedroom those two are messing with!
Madeline: Say, who wants to be the one to clean up whatever they’re doing after it’s done?
Reed: Nose goes!
Alice: *sneeze* I nominate Jem Louise Margaret!
JLM: No, no, no. I wouldn’t want to take away your fun, Alice.
Alice: Oh, it’s nothing. I insist you must have the pleasure of doing it.
JLM: Oh, but I couldn’t. You must.
Alice: No, no really, you must.
Melody: WEEEE’REEEE REEADDDDYYYY!
The Kyra Kave had somehow been transformed into a (rather small) tropical paradise. Colorful images of birds and palm trees were stapeled to the walls. A disco ball had been unearthed from somewhere, along with Day-glo orange grass hula skirts for the sisters. The freezer door was propped wide open and a baby pool had been installed there to lend a tropical feel. The whole room itself was warm, as warm as one who turns the temperature all the way up in the middle of winter with reckless abandon because one is not paying the heating bill.
Maggie: I came to escape the heat, not have more of it.
Bookbug: Well, you know what they say. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, and doublecross ‘em later.
Melody: In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room
Blu: In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room
Melody: All the birds all sing and the flowers croon.
Blu: Melody, I did not agree to singing this strange song with you and doing a faux hula at the same time! This was not written in the sister contract you made me sign with blood when I was three years old!
Melody: Welcome to our tropical hideaway, you lucky people you! If we weren’t in the show starting right away, we’d be in the audience too!
Red: Of course, Melody-chan. Everything is very interesting in the Tiki Room.
Bookbug: Well, that just was a turn for the creepy.
Ellie: Anyone want to help me check on that imaginary cake I’m pretending to bake?
Madeline: Oops, popped the baby pool. Guess the show’s over.
Moss: My bed! My room! It’s all flooding! What have you done?
Alice: Oh, JLM, it’s your cue -- all right, who stabbed her?!
Rest in peace, Theo W. Rest in peace.
(July 27, 2014 - 11:37 am)
I just realized while looking through old murder mysteries I've used the Tiki Room before. Oh well. *shrugs* As Red always says, everything is very interesting in the tiki room. I still don't know why he says it though.
Speaking of which, Red, check your email.
(July 28, 2014 - 4:21 pm)
With the second week over, the list of alive is being put up again. Who is the murderer?
Blonde Heroines Rule
Ivy
CaptainRead
FantasyQuill
SomeonePlusFour
Moss
Teresa
Nina
Maggie
Red
S.E.
~Blue Fairy~
Bookbug
Mag Fan
Bounty
Watermelon
Melody
Violet
Ellie
Madeline
Alice
(July 27, 2014 - 12:15 pm)