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Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
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You are invited to a Winter Ski Lodge Murder Mystery!
Who: Everyone is invited to join. One of you is a murderer, but which one?
What: This is a murder mystery. Every day, one person will die. Who is it? That's your job to figure out.
When: The game will begin on January 1 and end whenever it ends.
Where: The Ski Lodge. In other words, this page.
RSVP: I don't really care as long as you join sometime in December.
Various sundry rules and explanations:
-Each day I will write the story (probably in the morning or right after I get home if I have school). After that, you're welcome and encouraged to write your own view of the day.
-Big one: This isn't violent or gory.
-The motto: The funnier, the better.
-Basic geography does not apply. The Ski Lodge and Surrounding Territories more or less rewrites itself depending on how I want you guys to die.
-I don't decide who dies, so it's completely impartial. I pull everyone's names out of the Sugarbowl. The murderer comes out first (so I can keep track, really) and then I just draw a new name every day.
-Yes, the Sugarbowl is a Sugarbowl. I couldn't find a good hat the first time I wanted to do this and there is actually a skiing place in California called the Sugarbowl, so I thought, well, why not? It's more or less my Death Note.
-Pleeaaaassseee don't ask me to give you some long ridiculous name to put in the Sugarbowl. "Melody the Awesome Authority on all things Disney who is really Awesome" is so large, of course it's going to be pulled out right away.
-Like any good cartoon, logic and physics are overrated.
I hope you can join us.
-The Omnipotent Narrator
submitted by T.O.N.
(December 1, 2013 - 9:29 pm)
(December 1, 2013 - 9:29 pm)
Day 11
A Dreade Malady (not to be confused with M'lady. Or Melody.) came upon the ski lodge. Where did it come from? Who knows! Why did it only claim one victim before disappearing? Who knows! Were certain rodents involved in distributing the illness? Who knows!
(Dr.) Who: I most certainly do not!
Ivy: Well, that's one more down.
Blackberry: Geez, Ivy, are you checking people off a list or something?
Ivy: I'm just saying, one more of us has died, and she isn't me! Say what you like, but I like preserving my own skin.
BHR: We shouldn't celebrate yet, girls. How is her sister going to take the news?
Blue Fairy: A sister? WHOO-HOO, MELODY AND HER DISNEY COLLECTION ARE GONE, GONE, GO-
Melody: I'm right here!!!
Blue Fairy: Oh. Well. I just thought you, uh, stepped out for a second, to get fresh air, or something! That's all! Really! That's all! No need to bring out the lightsaber!
Red: You know what they say, don't count your Melodies before they die. They do say that, don't they?
Maggie: Who's they? I never say that.
Red: Well, you've never gone counting Melodies, obviously.
Grace: When we've all finished talking about weird proverbs and bludgeoning sisters with toy lightsabers, can we tell Bounty her sister is dead?
Skyler: Too late now.
Grace: Huh? Why?
Skyler: She did just walk into the kitchen right behind you, you know.
Bounty: Oh, Watermelon died? AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
SC: It'll be okay, Bounty. Don't cry, I'm sure you'll see her soon!
Lizzy: Well, that's reassuring.
Bounty: Mom will kill me! She said that if one of us died or burned down a government building again or jaywalked or something really drastic like that, she'd skin us both!
SC: Well, I guess you'll be seeing Watermelon again soon, then!
Melody: Because she put in a request, I will sing a song in her honor. The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I'm the queen.
Tovah: You know, this would make a great song for someone being frozen in ice.
Gilraen: Narrator! What are you doing? Are you scrolling up the page to change Watermelon's death? Stop that!
Melody: Let it go, let it go. Can't hold it back anymore.
Red: Have you ever considered watching any of these movies or knowing where the songs come from before Melody mentions them?
Hey, I knew Hakuna Matata. Cut me some slack. Oh, a lot of you guys saw Frozen, right? Was it good?
In other news, Jem Louise Margaret has become a traveling door-to-door-salesperson, selling pasta for the Used Food Store (Tm). Unfortunately, she ate all the pasta and was fired and stabbed by her angry boss. So now she's out of a job again.
Rest in peace, Watermelon. Rest in peace.
Captcha says iohr. If you rearrange the letters and add an a, you get Iroha. Nekomura Iroha is the voice software for Irina Clockworker, the evil sorceress in The Evilli- Wagh! Help! The Evillious Chronicles are kidnapping me again! Nooooo!
(January 11, 2014 - 5:52 pm)
I don't know if I've said this before, but I'm 100% sure Ivy is the murderer. (completely random: I got new converse. Yay.)
Spammy says: aczd. It's almost ACDC.
Also, T.O.N., I would take away your computer so you couldn't get distracted by The Evillious Chronicles, but you have to write the ski lodge.
(January 11, 2014 - 6:31 pm)
I also have to do homework, so please don't take my computer.
(January 11, 2014 - 7:19 pm)
Or, so the computer wouldn't distract me, you could send me mothy merchandise. A lot of mothy merchandise. Yes, that would solve the problem nicely.
(January 11, 2014 - 7:46 pm)
When I saw who had died, I yelled out "Yay! I'm not dead yet! I think I'm the murderer!" much to my parent's confusion. But then again, your probably just making it seem like I'm the murderer so that no one will suspect who it really is.
(January 11, 2014 - 6:34 pm)
Except for today, I really haven't been trying to make you sound like the murderer. I'm not sure what else I've done to make you seem like the murderer.
Captcha says ipwn. Captcha now knows internet speech.
(January 11, 2014 - 7:21 pm)
I thought Frozen was pretty good. I could have changed some parts though.
(January 11, 2014 - 7:06 pm)
In Frozen, or in today's ski lodge?
(January 11, 2014 - 7:56 pm)
Frozen. Awesome.
(January 11, 2014 - 8:43 pm)
Thank you for fulfilling my final wish! I really appreciate that. Bounty is worried now, our mom was reading over our shoulder and now has that idea of skinning alive. What have you done?!
(January 11, 2014 - 7:16 pm)
Well, as you're already dead, I suppose it won't hur- I mean. Ahem. I am terribly sorry, Watermelon and Bounty, for giving your mother the idea of skinning you both alive. I hope you live, and if you don't, please leave me something in your wills.
(January 11, 2014 - 7:59 pm)
When BHR said, "How is her sister going to take the news?", and both Melody and Blue Fairy were alive, Watermelon and I started totally freaking out, yelling, "It's one of us! It's one of us!" That was a run-on sentence.
(January 11, 2014 - 8:24 pm)
Oh my gosh, I love Frozen!!! One of the best movies of the year!
(January 11, 2014 - 8:29 pm)
Day 12
Tensions are running high in the ski lodge and the skiers are worried about who's next.
Maggie: I am sure that Ivy's murdering all of us.
Ivy: Oh, really? And what makes you say that?
Blackberry: You were checking people off, Ivy. That seems pretty suspicious.
And before you know it, there was a lynch mob.
Blue Fairy: We'll dunk you in a bucket of water!
BHR: If you drown, you're innocent. If you don't drown, you're a murderer!
Red: ... Huh. She was innocent. Oops. (It was a really, really, really big bucket.)
Skyler: WE JUST LYNCHED SOMEONE FOR NO GOOD REASON???!!! AAAHHHHH!
SC: How do we chalk this death up to the murderer?
Grace: Well, who formed the mob?
Ever so conveniently, the skiers suffer from Convenient Amnesia (Latin: plot device). Sufferers of plot device will have perfectly good memory until the plot demands them to remember something really important. At this point, the victims of plot device will forget the very important item. This important item will likely be the cause of much angst later in the story. And thus nobody remembered who actually suggested a lynch mob.
In other news, JLM is leaving on a trip to go to Lake Tahoe. To ski. Even though she lives in a ski lodge. Yup. I don't know when she'll be back; she'll probably tell me, and if she doesn't, too bad. In Lake Tahoe, she managed to trip and stab herself on a ski pole, talented girl that she is.
In other other news, Assasins R Us is back, selling Glow! Mouth Wash (Tm) from the Used Food Store (Tm).
Agent Alpacachan: It cleans your mouth and makes your teeth glow!
Agent E.W.: Try it in three different flavors, Minty 50 Watts, Peppermint 100 Watts, or Jalapeno 250 Watts.
Gilraen: That sounds like the least useful thing in the world, but I want some.
SC: I would never need a flashlight again!
Lizzy: Hey, that would make reading in bed really easy...
Bounty: Just think about the shadow puppets you could make!
Glow! Mouth Wash (Tm) available at your local Used Food Store (Tm) or Used Food Store Outlet (Tm). Trademarks make everything better! (Tm)
In other other other news, skiers are speculating about life after death.
Grace: What's it like to die?
Blue Fairy: There's a really big party. With pizza.
Tovah: Oh, I'm sure there is.
Blue Fairy: There is, really!
(Meanwhile... Ivy: This place is so much cooler than that ski lodge! Thanks for the pizza, Theo.)
Red: And then you can go haunt people. And fit down people's chimneys. Occasionally, you can come back to life, and that's cool.
Melody: And everyone becomes Grim Grinning Ghosts! When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake, spooks come out for a swingin' wake. Happy haunts materialize and begin to vocalize. Grim grinnin' ghosts come out to socialize.
Tovah: I think I like the pizza party theory better...
Rest in peace, Ivy. Rest in peace.
(January 12, 2014 - 12:32 pm)
....Am I the murderer?
(January 12, 2014 - 2:51 pm)