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Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
You are invited
You are invited to a Winter Ski Lodge Murder Mystery!
Who: Everyone is invited to join. One of you is a murderer, but which one?
What: This is a murder mystery. Every day, one person will die. Who is it? That's your job to figure out.
When: The game will begin on January 1 and end whenever it ends.
Where: The Ski Lodge. In other words, this page.
RSVP: I don't really care as long as you join sometime in December.
Various sundry rules and explanations:
-Each day I will write the story (probably in the morning or right after I get home if I have school). After that, you're welcome and encouraged to write your own view of the day.
-Big one: This isn't violent or gory.
-The motto: The funnier, the better.
-Basic geography does not apply. The Ski Lodge and Surrounding Territories more or less rewrites itself depending on how I want you guys to die.
-I don't decide who dies, so it's completely impartial. I pull everyone's names out of the Sugarbowl. The murderer comes out first (so I can keep track, really) and then I just draw a new name every day.
-Yes, the Sugarbowl is a Sugarbowl. I couldn't find a good hat the first time I wanted to do this and there is actually a skiing place in California called the Sugarbowl, so I thought, well, why not? It's more or less my Death Note.
-Pleeaaaassseee don't ask me to give you some long ridiculous name to put in the Sugarbowl. "Melody the Awesome Authority on all things Disney who is really Awesome" is so large, of course it's going to be pulled out right away.
-Like any good cartoon, logic and physics are overrated.
I hope you can join us.
-The Omnipotent Narrator
submitted by T.O.N.
(December 1, 2013 - 9:29 pm)
(December 1, 2013 - 9:29 pm)
Teresa's dead. She was the first one to die, so it can't be her. You know who I think the murderer is!
(January 8, 2014 - 11:32 pm)
*gasp* Oh, Maggie, how did you find out? All right guys, you got me. Teresa is totally the murderer.
Captcha says mnmt. Mounument.
(January 8, 2014 - 11:44 pm)
This is alarmingly how I would really be in real life.
(January 9, 2014 - 10:38 am)
Yup, that sounds like me.
I forgot to put a song down for Day 9. If you haven't written it yet without a song, make it Feminity from Summer Magic. If you have, make it Day 10.
If you use Feminity for Day 9, make Day 10 (or Day 11) The Tiki Room.
(January 9, 2014 - 4:19 pm)
Of course, Melody-chan. Everything is very interesting in the Tiki Room.
JLM and I are actually holding a conversation about tiki rooms through email. Odd.
(January 9, 2014 - 5:37 pm)
JLM is a real person?
(January 9, 2014 - 6:32 pm)
Yes, both JLM and the Agents are real people. I don't think I told JLM I was doing a murder mystery with her in it. I should probably go do that.
(January 9, 2014 - 7:21 pm)
I love Summer Magic, along with all Disney Haley Mills movies! I had Femininity stuck in my head for a week after seeing that!
(January 9, 2014 - 6:42 pm)
Day 9
Probability is such a fickle thing. Each and every one of you had a 5.88% chance of dying today, and the lucky winner is... S.E.! Congratulations! Your prize is a lucky trap on your favorite ski run! The trap opens up into a pit with your choice of spears, poisonous snakes, or giant Venus flytrap available at the bottom! Take your pick, or go for our three-for-the-price-of-one sweepstakes giveaway contest! To enter, call [this number has been censored for security reasons. Rumor has it that if you call this number, you summon Cthullu.] and ask to speak to the really grumpy lady, they'll know exactly who you're talking about.
S.E.: Uhh... I'll take the flytrap.
An excellent choice! Right, well, that's one down. What else is on the agenda today, skiers?
Grace: We're having a party!
Theo: Cool! I'll grab the soda and--
Watermelon: Not so fast, Theo.
SC: This is a girls only party. We're going to talk about... girl things. *dun dun dunn*
Skyler: What are... girl things? *dun dun dunn*
Blackberry: You know, stuff. Secret stuff. We've been sworn by The Society of the Order of the Guild of Females Everywhere (TSOGFE, for short. Pronounced like tso-geff-ay or "oh my gosh, that is so geffey") to not tell anyone unfemale about our secret rituals.
Gilraen: So, you guys all can't come. Sorry, it's just TSOGFE rules. If we don't follow them, we'll get our licenses revoked.
Red: What licenses?
Bounty: Our female licenses. Don't you know you need a license to be female?
Blue Fairy: We'll just be having this party/ancient ritual in our room. Bring snacks every half hour, please.
Red: They need a license to be female?
(In the Melody-Blue Fairy room...
Ivy: Ha! They actually believed that joke about TSOGFE!)
Skyler: Huh. That's odd. We'll have to tell the The Society of the Order of the Guild of Males Everywhere (TSOGME, pronounced tsog-me, like "he tsogged me in the stomach!") the next time they call a meeting.
Red: All right! We'll just have to sneak in! I'll fetch my wigs and dresses and we'll dress up and tell them we're the ghosts of the dead skiers.
(In the Melody-Blue Fairy room...
Teresa: Hi, guys, is it okay if we join in?
Maggie: Sure. All we're doing is watching Doctor Who and Sherlock episodes.)
Skyler: That's not going to work.
Red: Well, what good ideas do you two have?
Skyler: Call the assassins to infiltrate the Melody-Blue Fairy room! (I'm going to call that room MBF or Embiff from now on.)
The assassins are all too happy to ditch homework and come help out.
Agent E.W.: So, here's the plan. Agent Alpacachan, you go in and investigate. Say you need to go the bathroom and then tell us what's going on in there and their biggest weaknesses so we can inflitrate the enemy's base!
Agent Alpacachan: I'm on it, boss!
Agent E.W.: Oh, she made it in safely!
(In Embiff...
Agent Alpacachan: I do karate.
BHR: Karate? That's so cool! I do archery!
Agent Alpacahan: Archery? That's awesome! Say, have you heard of this really good cookie recipe? It has so many chocolate chips! I love chocolate chips!
BHR: Me too! Hey, let's exchange phone numbers so we can be friends even after we go home! Do you have any pets?
Agent Alpachan: Of course! There's Bruin, Malbec, Deja Vu, Forrester, Eddie, Rosy, Spice...)
Agent E.W.: She's not coming out. I fear the worst.
Red: The guards have captured her! Be strong, Alpaca-chan!
Skyler: Why are we even doing this?
Theo: I'm doing it because it's fun to watch those two. I don't know about you.
Agent E.W.: Remember the mission, Agent Alpacachan!
(In Embiff...
Agent Alpacachan: Um, where's the bathroom?
Melody: Down the hall, past the bedrooms, but there's a huge line.
Blue Fairy: Isn't everyone in here?
SC: But there's still always a huge line. It's the Law of the Women's Bathroom. No matter when, no matter where, there will always be a line, especially at theaters.
Agent Alpacachan: I can hold it. So, BHR, have you ever read this book...)
Skyler: Well, that plan failed.
Theo: Why don't we use this to find out what they're doing?
Red: An Extendable Ear? Why didn't you use that a long time ago?
Skyler: So, we'll stick it under the door, then?
(In Embiff...
Blackberry: Hey, guys, somebody just put an Extendable Ear under the door.
Bounty: Let's all make weird noises!)
Theo: It's in place!
<We are now broadcasting live from the Extendable Ear.
Watermelon: Ahhh! The sky is falling!
Lizzy: SC, I told you not to let JLM near the tray of knives! *crash* Well, too late now...
Tovah: There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium, and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium...
Grace: Wheeee! I'm a rolly polly!
Blue Fairy: No, Gilraen, put down the wolverine! It's barfing everywhere!
Gilraen: I can't stop it! Here it goes! *bleeeehhh*
Tovah: There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium...
Ending live broadcast.>
Red: What the heck was that?
Skyler: How did they get a wolverine?
Theo: I will never underestimate girls again.
(In Embiff...
Maggie: Wow, that was a good barfing noise you made, Gilraen!
Gilraen: I know, I know, I'm too talented. It's all in the elf powers.
Melody: Now, now, calm down, girls. The boys (and Theo) seem to have gone away and I have a song for you all on what it means to be a girl.
Lizzy: Oh, what happened to your throat?
Melody: It got better. Now then, Teresa...
Teresa: Would you look at the time! Ghosts, we have to roll! Places to haunt, cute dead celebrities to see, you know how it is!
Melody: You must walk feminine, talk feminine, smile and beguile feminine, utilize your femininity. That's what every girl should know, if she wants to catch a beau.
Ivy: Or we could just be ourselves.
Melody: No. According to Disney, it is a heinous crime to be yourself. You must try to impress boys all the time.
Ivy: I don't even want a boyfriend!
Melody: Tough. Dance feminine, glance feminine-
Maggie: What's a "feminine glance"? It's just a glance.
Melody: WILL YOU ALL BE QUIET SO I CAN FINISH SINGING THIS VERY UNFEMINIST SONG???!
Blue Fairy: That yelling of yours isn't very feminine, Melody.)
Rest in peace, S.E. Rest in peace.
(January 9, 2014 - 7:18 pm)
Drat! I was hoping for murderer.
(January 9, 2014 - 8:58 pm)
Note: I only like that song because it's catchy. I don't always agree with what it says.
Also, the element song inclusion was great. That song is my jam.
(January 9, 2014 - 9:35 pm)
I have the best line in that. I was laughing so hard. You have to admit it.
(January 9, 2014 - 9:47 pm)
That line is probably the best line I've ever written. I intend to use it whenever I need a non sequiter.
(January 11, 2014 - 10:57 am)
And thank you for giving it to me!
(January 13, 2014 - 3:03 pm)
Oh my gosh this one was so funny! I was laughing out loud the entire time I was reading it! I got some interesting looks from my parents...
(January 10, 2014 - 1:02 am)