new part - i'll probably post the next one soon, it's pretty much finished. 

~

Hideto leaps forward, shoving Johnny to the side. “Don’t!” 

Johnny flinches. “Erm - by chance, could you stop shoving into me, by chance?”

Hideto grins and pushes him into the table. “Like that? And you do realize you said by chance twice?”

Johnny steps back. 

Onyx sighs. “Hideto, like seriously. Why do you have to break everything?”

Hideto paces faster. “Because it’s fun.”

“What is wrong with you.”

Hideto shrugs. “Up to you to decide.”

“Wow, I thought you would get so upset. That’s just the way you are, isn’t it?”

Hideto stops pacing and tilts his head. “I don’t usually. I’m pretty sure I just like… shrugged when I was told my dad died.  I’m more known for being callous, actually.”

Onyx squints. “You seriously didn’t care when your dad died? Did you hate him or something?”

“How about you shut up?”

“So you were best friends, then. Amazing. I bet you cry every night because nobody else has ever cared about you again -”

“I certainly never said that.”

“So he was actually evil and -”

“You know I’d really suggest you shut up. Unless you want me to start speculating about your life. I’m sure you have so many friends, the way you act.”

Onyx flinches. 

“Can’t take it?”

“I do, actually. Have friends. Plenty of them.”

“How much are you paying them?”

Johnny steps over to me. “Are they always like this?”

I just keep rocking and fiddling with Speckle, my mind mostly occupied with daydreams.

Johnny glances back at them, then steps away from me. My heart sinks, which it shouldn’t. it’s not like i like him anyway. And people do that all the time.

I reach for the vending machine books. There’s a ton about art, but others - books about cooking, room design, herbs, and a tour guide to the library. I call up the library kiosk and tell it to transport the books to the library courtyard in a box that will only open for me. I’m not quite sure why I choose the library courtyard when it would be easier to choose my room, but I miss the courtyard. It hasn’t been open lately. There’s been a big “closed” sign on the door, and I haven’t cared enough to see what’s in there.

Besides, the courtyard has a lock.

I walk out of the room. 

Hideto follows me. “So what was the lights flickering about?”

I shrug. “It was mad.”

“What was mad?”

I shrug. I don’t know how to describe it.

“...Okay? Whatever the thing it was - c’mere, i want to talk to you.”

My stomach turns. “Don’t - don’t -”

A star pops out of nowhere, shivers, and bursts. Stardust and clouds spew, and a complaint form sails through the air and sinks to the ground. The library does that from time to time. Hideto just sighs. 

“Don’t provoke it. It said - it said -”

“Whatever it said, I’m going to go provoke it. And other things, probably. Bye!” Before I can stop him, he darts off, pausing to catch his breath and lean on the wall after a few seconds before darting off again. 

not me saying i'd post the next part soon and completely failing to XD anyway. i made an ube boba tea and i'm drinking it it's really gooddddd - unrelated sorry we begin now

~

I blink, brain still processing that Hideto’s not in front of me. Why is he going to go provoke things?

I shake my head. I need to head to the courtyard. I grab the “call a cloud” keychain from my backpack and press the button. Pressing it brings you a cloud that you can then sit on and use to move, kind of like a wheelchair.

A tiny thread of cloud squeezes out of the floor boards, tangling and tangling until in seconds it’s large enough for me to sit on. I collapse into the cloud: vaguely cool, only tentatively holding me up. My joints struggle to adjust to the new position. either my muscles ache or the pain from my joints is just radiating out too far; I really can’t tell.

I press the button to go to the courtyard, and the cloud starts off. In the meantime, I grab Helianthus. 

Ne huffs. “Perhaps it’s not just the others who should get out of here. You don’t want to meet that shadow thing again. I’m certain.”

I shake my head. “If they leave it’ll be good again.”

“It’s a long time to be alone.”

I shrug.

Being alone is one thing. Filaments of passing time wrap around you like you’re a moth caught in a spiderweb and the spider’s inches away and it’s waiting waiting waiting until you’re too tired to struggle anymore. Your mind shatters into shards; it’s best to avoid running into them. avoid the haze of boredom, the anger eating at your mind for things that can’t matter because you’re the only one who cares. avoid the memories, the stinging assurance that you’re doing something wrong, somehow, just by existing. 

But minds can be beautiful, for there are worlds inside. Sprawling oceans with millions of intertwining currents fighting for attention; never-ending asteroid belts around a sun with beams that captivate and calm your mind at the same time. Both, if you prefer. As many as you want. You can make worlds that are idyllic so you can pretend anything like that could actually happen, or deadly so you can cry and not feel as bad about it. Inside my mind, there’s a magic that just can’t survive in this world.

And if I make stories, i can be whoever I want. I can be the real me, the one nobody knows! The one who wears dresses and straight-cut cargo pants and whatever they want - who makes jokes that make people laugh! - who definitely exists and isn’t actually fake, as long as I’m being sarcastic! No, in general I make characters. Why would i be myself? The real me isn’t better than this one. Just broken in extra ways.

The cloud halts. I look up at a large mahogany door, ribbons of gold arching across the top. The large wooden knocker changes shape every time I’ve seen it; today it’s a hummingbird midflight. 

Speckle tilts her head. “Why isn’t the cloud going in?”

I shrug and open the door myself. the cloud shudders, but after a second’s consideration it drifts inside. 

just so people see :D

also here's some zoomed in versions of one of the pictures on the other page - the reflected light didn't come through very well

the second

the original but i turned up to saturation a bit (it looks more like the actual drawing now though. unless my computer screen's just weird.) 

(also the next part should be out soon) 

okay so the plotting at the opening is annoying me - not only is the tension nonexistent, i had fairly different ideas of where it was going to lead. I think I'll be starting over. because of that it'll probably be a while before I can post next, unless I draw something or ramble. which is likely, but possibly less interesting.

Okay so basically: I'm going to be continuing this, but I think I'll be making a new thread, and there will be a few changes. I'll give more updates as time goes on, and eventually the new one will start. but basically I had too many thoughts and didn't plan it out enough and ended up wanting to make changes but couldn't. I'll update more in a bit. i appreciate everyone who commented and made a character!