YES! MWAHAHA!

I knew it! I'd always suspected that something like this would happen soon. It was implied so often, but never explained! But I knew to ask questions would arouse suspicion, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

Now, you've finally admitted everything. Now, I can carry out my plan!

Let me explain myself. I am the founder and director of the Official Organization Dedicated to the Prevention of Any Form of Domination of the Planet Earth, or OODttPoAFoDOtPE for short. I go onto places like this where people will confess anything, look for implications of planned domination, gather as much information as possible, and do whatever I can to stop it. The world is quite fine as it is, you see, and does not need or want any evil person ruling it. I side with them. World domination is unfair.

So, you plan to infiltrate jelly bean factories, do you? After you find out how, anyway. I know the secret, but I won't tell you, of course. That would defeat the entire purpose. No, instead, I'm using it against you. You see, once you figure out how to do something, it isn't difficult to discover how to do its opposite. I've invented a pie that makes people think for themselves about the world, how it works, and what is right and wrong. It convinces them that world domination is wrong, and makes them suddenly care about what is right and wrong, more so than before—at least in this case. But they are not slaves. They choose to work for me, and they remain themselves—just enhanced versions of themselves. I've found enough hot pink bunnies for an army, gathered them together, and fed them the pies. They were evil, but they have now changed. They want to stop you from ruling the world, so they do whatever I ask. Currently, their main task is pie-making. You see, I've stolen your idea, which I admit was rather good. I am infiltrating the pie factories, and if you try to stop me, my army will surround you and force pies down your throat until you give up your plan. MWAHAHA! So, does anyone care to try? And if you manage to escape, they can always throw pies at you, too. They have cannons, and arrows, and good aim. They can hit you from miles away, and touching a pie is as good as eating one! And of course, we're selling the ingredients to every pie factory we can find, and selling the pies to hungry people, and donating them to food banks for people who can't afford them.

Does anyone care to join me, and help make the pies? Or perhaps help distribute them? Anyone who joins me gets a million free books of your choice and an old-fashioned typewriter! Not to mention all the free pie you want! And a bar of chocolate, and a million dollars!

But if not, that's all right. We can always feed you pies until you agree. Don't worry, though; they taste excellent.

APC agrees with me. He says dwhy, as in, "D? Why?" D stands for dominate; he doesn't understand why anyone would want to dominate the world! He knows it's wrong and is on my side! Yay!