I love rainy days <3

i had auditions for peter pan (the musical) yesterday and i think it went pretty well overall! i can only go to one of the shows out of the three(?) or four shows that we're doing because of a school field trip so i think i'm guaranteed an ensemble role anyway but i'm still glad that the audition went well. plus peter pan ensemble is awesome- i would be a lost boy or a pirate, both of which i think would be super fun to play (and there's a lot of big ensemble dance numbers) :D 

*intensely fangirls*

It is way too hot where I live to be October. If I took a picture right now of the outside, you'd assume it's summer.

Mom thinks I know everythin'...

So, a couple weeks ago, she called me from the basement, where I was happily playin' video games on the Xbox, relivin' my childhood. So, when I come up, she's all like "did you give Grandma her coffee? Did you do the dishwasher this mornin' like Dad said in the note he left before he went to work this mornin'? Did you let the dogs out at nine?" and I was like "Number One: No, 'cause I've been in the basement for less that an hour and didn't know she was up. Number Two: Also no, 'cause I didn't know Dad wanted me to do it the second I got up. Number Three: No, 'cause I forgot!" and she gave Grandma her coffee, but she was sick and she EXPECTED me to know that since she was sick, that I should give Grandma her coffee since Mom didn't wanna expose Grandma to what I gave my family, and Mom said all snarky-like "Thanks for gettin' your priorities straight" and she said that while I was doin' the (I'mma say this ONCE and please don't tell anyone I said this) ding-dang dishwasher like a good daughter!

Oh, but that's not the first time she pulled somethin' like that on me...

Last month, I had my realitives over, right? Well, I was wantin' to ask her 'bout somethin, and I barely bothered her, and she was ignorin' me, until she said "what" real snarky-like, and I said "nothing", and I sat at the table, tears streamin' down my cheeks, and Mom had the NERVE to say "don't be a drama queen", and I was like "Well, 'CUSE ME BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT RUNNIN' TO MY TEMPORARY BEDROOM IN THE BASEMENT CRYIN'" but I didn't actually SAY that 'cause I didn't wanna make a scene.

And on Memorial Day, she forced me to do somethin', and I got all quiet, and Mom, bein' the selfish PERSON she is, she said "you're ruinin' my special day", and I RAN outside, and CRIED. And she forced me to come back inside and go in my room, or I wouldn't get to go downstate to visit my family for my Great Uncle's Celebration of Life thingy, so I HAD to go in my room.

This is my life: I do all the work, I TRY MY VERY BEST TO GET GOOD GRADES, and I hardly complain when I do my chores, but Mom's over in her room playin' on her iPad and makin' a big deal when it dies like it died for no reason, and she's always like "Did you try your hardest on the Math test", and I'm like "I'M SORRY ANYTHIN' I DO ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!" and I think 'cause of that, I'm gettin' more and more depressed every single day.

@Admins, I am so sorry you had to read that paragraph, I didn't mean for it to be that long.

I'm kind of curious—how old do y'all think I am?

Ughhhh. I hate being called my deadname. Just recently I corrected someone and they said something along the lines of, "Aww, that's so cool! Now you can be my trans friendddd. But is it still okay if I call you (deadname) and use she/her pronouns for you because I've known you so long?" and I was quite angry. And it's the same thing for people who are over the top apologetic about it. They'll say, "Oh and she-" and realize they slipped up (which is fine and great and lovely!<3) but instead of saying oh sorry they say, "Ohmygosh! I'm soooo sorry!!! Like, me of all people. Misgendering you? Oh, I feel so bad. You'll never forgive me". Ughhhrahhhhghhh. 

Ye, that's all :)