Poetry Club!
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
Poetry Club!
Poetry Club!
I'm pretty sure we already had one of these but I can't find the thread to resurrect it, so I'm making a new one. There is only one rule: be nice when you criticize (I don't even have to say that here) Anyways, here is a poem (I think it can be qualified as one!) of my own.
Do you ever look up at the sky and wonder
Why am I here?
What is my purpose on this earth?
Will I ever find my way?
The universe is so huge
and I've only seen a tiny piece of it.
There are a million drops of water in a fishtank
Trillions upon trillions of tiny molecules floating around in the sea
More grains of sand than could ever be counted
An infinite number of stars; those detected and undiscovered.
When I look up into the endless depths of the sky
Or down into the never-ending abyss, as you might call it
I feel
Insignificant
Trivial
Unimportant
And I know that I am
I'll live a short life compared to how long the universe will last
I will not do anything that will be remembered
But
When I look up at those stars
I hope
I dream
I wonder if
Life isn't so meaningless after all?
PLEASE criticize! I am not too good at poetry, and would like some suggestions if you have them. Thank you!
(June 17, 2016 - 1:42 pm)
Beautiful poem! As a fellow appreciator of muffins, I must remark: Muffins are not cake. Cake is denser and made differently. :) Keep up the great work, though!
(July 11, 2016 - 3:31 pm)
Thank you! And yes, I know muffins ≠ cake, but I didn't want to reuse the word too much, and needed some sort of synonym. And there you are.
(July 11, 2016 - 6:21 pm)
That is a really good poem!
(July 11, 2016 - 4:51 pm)
Awwww, that was so cute.
(July 11, 2016 - 6:11 pm)
(July 11, 2016 - 8:00 pm)
Oooh, I liked those! Especially The Seedling, that was kind of sad, but an interesting concept.
(July 12, 2016 - 8:00 pm)
Wonderful poems, BubleBuddy! I really loved the reverse poem you did, but all three were really good.
(July 12, 2016 - 11:41 pm)
Thanks, Ashlee and Guess!
(July 14, 2016 - 6:54 am)
Love
Love
The emotion that starts as a bud
Then blooms outward
The happiness and drama entangled
In the vines of love
But every rose has its thorns
And sometimes the blossom
Droops
Withers
Falls
And the love is gone
Sunset Magic
The sun sank slowly
Shadows ruled the land
Fireflies flickered their lights
On and off
On and off
And owls awoke from sleep
The landscape turned into
Another world
Perfect for slumber
(July 12, 2016 - 7:28 pm)
This is a something I wrote. You guys probably all think my poems suck because they're so wordy and depressing. Anyways, here it is.
Folded Flag
have you ever felt so empty
broken inside
that you just couldn't function anymore?
have you ever been
unable to cry
because you don't have any tears left?
have you ever had to hold yourself together
in front of a crowd of people
as a folded flag is handed to your father
as a coffin is carried away from you
away, never coming back
you try and you try
but you just can't
your bottom lip begins to quiver
you squeeze your eyes shut
you clench your fists
a hand on your shoulder
doesn't do anything to make you feel better
the tears run down your face
it hurts your throat
trying to keep the sobs inside
keep it together, you command yourself
as the uniformed man looks at you with sympathy
you stare at the ground
you press your lips together
but it's too hard
you can't do it anymore
your shoulders start to shake
you cover your face with your hands, because
this type of sadness isn't pretty
you'd give anything in the world
to be away from here
at the same time
you can't leave
because
this is your last chance
to
say
goodbye.
(July 12, 2016 - 10:51 pm)
The Wind's Story
As the light of the sun slips beneath the trees,
And the clouds float loftily on the breeze,
The whisp'rin' wind murmurs a wondrous tale,
Carried afar over the fields, hills, and dale.
The tale is as ancient as old Mother Earth,
Created to be told by the wind and the surf,
The story holds many a lesson and riddle,
Ev'ry single time it's retold it changes a little.
It talks about stars and the evening and morn,
It talks about ev'ry promise broken and sworn.
The stars and clouds come closer to hear,
When the first rays of the ivory moon appear.
As the light of the sun slips beneath the trees,
And the clouds float loftily on the breeze,
The whisp'rin' wind murmurs a wondrous tale,
Carried afar over fields, hills, and dale.
(July 14, 2016 - 6:53 pm)
That was beautiful, BumbleBuddy! I think you could turn that into a fantasy story!
(July 15, 2016 - 12:15 pm)
I love those poems, Guess and BumbleBuddy! And Guess, your poems are NOT bad. They are amazing works of art, stunning. Also, are you Shadow Dragon, Guess Me? Here is one of the ones I created while camping:
Finally Home
Glistening down
The moon lights her face
Creating a pathway
Home
A mother the child
Never knew
Missing home
She followed the moon
To places unknown
Path of moonbeams
Slight stepping stones
As clouds form
Swirling, stirring
Flakes of frozen raindrops
Upon the girls face
The moon leads her home
Edge of a quiet house
Under light and wall
The girl sits peacefully
A smile upon her face
The moon watching
Over her silent body
(July 16, 2016 - 1:17 am)
Whoa, Ashlee and Guess, that is some good poetry.
Moonlit Night
Moonlight
Pure
And
Enchanting
Turing the coarse
Moorland grass
Silver
Unnamed
High in the sky, the moon shines bright,
Adding magic to this warm summer night.
Fireflies dance to the cricket's sweet songs,
And the stars twinkle brightly all night long.
Okay... I can't think of anything else. Bye!
(July 16, 2016 - 2:50 pm)
Great work, BumbleBuddy! I find it hard to write shorter poetry, and these are the shortest I made while camping:
The Ocean's Call
The breeze blows
Peacefully between our souls
Simple bird's song
A lullaby in our hearts
As feet touch
The spoiled earth
Sand beneath our forms
The ocean beckons
Silently, slowly
Calling us home
Children of the Earth
Sweet children of the earth
I'm calling you home
To soar across the skies
Forever free
Forever young
Take flight
My children
To a world beyond
Where nothing can hurt you
And you may live forever
Carefree and young
(July 16, 2016 - 5:50 pm)