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Poetry Club!
Poetry Club!
I'm pretty sure we already had one of these but I can't find the thread to resurrect it, so I'm making a new one. There is only one rule: be nice when you criticize (I don't even have to say that here) Anyways, here is a poem (I think it can be qualified as one!) of my own.
Do you ever look up at the sky and wonder
Why am I here?
What is my purpose on this earth?
Will I ever find my way?
The universe is so huge
and I've only seen a tiny piece of it.
There are a million drops of water in a fishtank
Trillions upon trillions of tiny molecules floating around in the sea
More grains of sand than could ever be counted
An infinite number of stars; those detected and undiscovered.
When I look up into the endless depths of the sky
Or down into the never-ending abyss, as you might call it
I feel
Insignificant
Trivial
Unimportant
And I know that I am
I'll live a short life compared to how long the universe will last
I will not do anything that will be remembered
But
When I look up at those stars
I hope
I dream
I wonder if
Life isn't so meaningless after all?
PLEASE criticize! I am not too good at poetry, and would like some suggestions if you have them. Thank you!
submitted by Guess me if you want
(June 17, 2016 - 1:42 pm)
(June 17, 2016 - 1:42 pm)
Amazing!!! Nice job, Shado!!!
(July 1, 2016 - 6:37 am)
Thanks Mei! :)
(July 2, 2016 - 7:46 am)
I love it, Shadow! You are an amazing poet.
(July 1, 2016 - 7:34 pm)
Shadowmoon, your poetry is just beautiful. Simply beautiful. People often find rhyming poems plain, simple, and childish, but I think otherwise. You found words that go together and create a story. Amazing work, and so true in what you say. Especially in the first two stanzas.
(July 3, 2016 - 1:30 pm)
Shadowmoon, that was awesome! The first rhyming one yet, I think.
P.S. My captcha says yeee. Wow, you are excited.
(July 2, 2016 - 12:36 pm)
Here's a part of a bit of poetry I wrote a few years ago:
In the hidden valley, where the shades are stowed,
Winds a yew-hewn, dew-strewn, blue-moon road,
Where the leaves are lightest, and the shadows wrought,
Where the stars are brightest, but the Moon shines not;
In the sunless valley, where the wind ne'er blows--
There walk the Faerie Folk, where few dare go.
When the Sun's last rays not yet have died,
And the air is chill, and the heather sighs,
And the shadows grow in depth and gloom,
And the Heavens are bereft of Moon,
They come to lay their feet to cool
In the silent shallows of the starry pool.
In the darkling valley, where few have trod,
They come along the starlit road;
The grasses part before their feet,
The eerie air becometh sweet,
And silver shines the pool like glass,
And shadows shimmer as they pass.
That's the first three stanzas! I didn't mean to make any changes to it when I typed it up here, but I did fix a few punctuation marks and I changed the word 'darkened' to 'darkling' because the former annoyed me. So, apart from that, it's just as it was when I wrote it two years ago. What do y'all think?
(July 2, 2016 - 4:16 pm)
Esthelle, stunning poetry! It gives me an eerie feeling, something unforgettable.
(July 3, 2016 - 8:57 pm)
Thanks guys! I'm so glad you guys like it! :) (As I said earlier, that means a lot to me) ;)
(July 2, 2016 - 2:31 pm)
Guess Me If You Want, that second poem was amazing!! It touched my heart.
(July 2, 2016 - 5:35 pm)
Shadowmoon-- Your poetry is beautiful. Your imagery is potent and perfected, and your wording is both simple and flowing-- un-blocked by rambling phrases and exaggeration-- and puts me in mind of a most delicious melody. Thank you so much for sharing your gift! :)
(July 2, 2016 - 8:40 pm)
Esthelle....Thank you so much! And I absolutely loved yours! It had a haunting and eerie tone that was both beautiful and sent shivers up my spine. I'd love to see more!
(July 3, 2016 - 11:12 am)
I spent some time writing last night, and I came up with two poems I will share on here now. Although, being that I haven't written a poem in so long, I don't believe they are as good as everyone else's on here. But nonetheless, here it is:
Bird of the Snow
Piercing blue eyes
Flecked with gold
Down so beautiful
Beyond the whitest snow
You sit, watching
A smile upon your face
Beautiful creature
Of knowledge and life
Key to the world
Of conflicts and fights
Love and let go
Bird of the snow
Set wings and take flight
Soar above the skies
I will watch and wave
To you, my friend
As you climb the skies
And soar away
(July 3, 2016 - 12:44 pm)
I'm putting the two poems separate to give it more of a "topping" boost. This thread needs to be top of page one, no doubt. I love the work you all are doing. This one is a little sad if you think about it. So maybe don't think about it?
A Sunset Road
A sunset road
Laid with gravel
Imprints upon the earth
A young one's first step
A child's laughter
Fills this old road
With gentle youth
Years of war veterans
Soldiers in our hearts
Whose feet have touched the ground
Leaving an old impression
Upon this road
Places have spoken
From foreigner's cart
To the poor
And the wealthy
This old road
A sunset road
Home to unforgotten memories
(July 3, 2016 - 12:51 pm)
Ashlee, your second poem almost made me cry, but in a good way. It really touched me.
(July 3, 2016 - 7:54 pm)
Thank you, I was actually on the verge of tears once reading over it. It made me think of life, simply. The good and the bad of everything, of everyone. So thank you, very much! My poems usually relate to life in a way, always hold a second meaning.
(July 3, 2016 - 8:54 pm)