of birds and blossoms, of times long past

lost but found; I could never tell

the mirages from the real world, my afterimage hallucinations

float in my head as if they know they aren't real but they want to be 

As real as the

flakes of snow on my upturned face, there one second gone

the next

I wish I could catch them so I could know it wasn't all just a dream but

as soon as they fall in my hand, they melt, just like my visions of something better

Wishes that just don't come true

like you were;

a wish that melted as quickly as the spiraling snow but

left me burning for a while 

I suppose it's pointless now to reminisce when all it does is spread the ache

My cold heart is

so

unlike the warm flame in my fireplace 

so

unlike yours

yours,

the way it thawed me, kept me alive but now

I'm frozen solid -- am I dead again?

Or simply not

breathing?

I lay back my head

leave it hanging off my neck

as I watch white spirals in the wind

a wistful smile spreads across my face

if I close my eyes

I can almost see your smile

the one that was for me

Or so I

thought, but then again you

took all the thoughts in my head and

rearranged them, so I really

can't be sure of

anything anymore

I almost can't decide

whether it was just a dream

or something so bluntly real

yet so wonderful

that it was

something out of

a storybook

written into my life 

but we were not heroes 

We were only 

snowflakes

in the wind

Endlessly swirling until melted, gone

We were failures, we let ourselves be

blown away 

a house of cards collapsing 

As the chilled breath of winter blew,

knocking us to the ground 

The frozen, snow-covered ground, so many winters ago. 

Why do I dwell on the past?

Is it not pointless, for forward we ever go?

We try to slow the turning

Perchance, by spinning

We let our delusions of perfection melt away with the winter

turning to water, pooling beneath our feet 

And then you were gone too and I was left standing there

Dreaming

of a love

long frozen --