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Regular poetry thread
Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
Regular poetry thread
Regular poetry thread (because I'm tired of not editing my poems)
This is exactly what it sounds like! A thread to post poetry. I'm excited to read all of your work!
submitted by Bluebird
(April 30, 2017 - 8:51 pm)
(April 30, 2017 - 8:51 pm)
I love it!!! Maybe to smooth out the beginning, you could say, "when a silver-gilded piece/ of the sky falls". I think the addition of the hyphen helps it flow a bit and moving "piece" to the first line evens out the line lengths. Up to you!
(January 2, 2021 - 2:11 pm)
This is stunning; the imagery and harsh truth-factor are probably the strongest elements, in my opinion, and they're used to fantastic effect!
It sort of matches my image of your username, actually, with the 'silver crystal' being a clear, almost teardrop-shaped cut gem (with the inner cuts reflecting a lot of white, silvery light), sort of just floating/hovering against the tranquil pinkish-purple section that blooms in the transition to dusk. I love that~
(January 3, 2021 - 5:05 am)
@Snazzy, thanks for the advice! It's exactly what I was looking for.
@Jaybells, it means a lot that you like it so much :) Also, it's interesting about what you said about it connecting back to my unsername; I hadn't really though about it that way. In fact, I haven't really though about my CB username's image at all. I like your vision; I guess in my mind it was always a fairly large roughly cut peice of translucent crystal glowing with a kinda silvery light, something you could find half buried in the ground in the woods somewhere. It's interesting to think about.
(January 3, 2021 - 11:22 pm)
Ooh, how mysterious!
Yeah, it's sorta weird, but I always end up subconsciously associating pictures with names (especially usernames) and come up with a whole pseudo-backstory around them! XD
(January 5, 2021 - 4:24 am)
I've been wanting to get back into writing poetry, so I think I'll start posting here! I just read through the last few pages, and you're all so talented!
I wrote this I think last summer? I can't remember what it was about exactly, I think it was just feelings in a moment.
the weather of almost summer
you and i
the glow of a sunset
purple and orange and pink
shivering in the dusk
leaning on a wooden fence
rain so fine it's almost mist
sweet on our lips
barely able to see in the fading light
long days
sunset
fine rain
the weather of almost summer
(January 2, 2021 - 7:29 pm)
So ambient and nostalgic, its beautiful!
(January 3, 2021 - 12:22 am)
Oooh beautiful! I love how you manage to communicate that sweetness and beauty of almost-summer.
(January 3, 2021 - 1:57 pm)
A blood-soaked robe,
A large crumbling boulder,
A lone figure on a twilight sun-lit hill;
What does it all mean?
A friend slain,
A sword drawn forth,
And the loneliness off a King;
But what happened in-between?
(January 5, 2021 - 4:32 am)
Ooooh... This could almost be a prophecy... or at least the ramblings of prophet driven mad that's the closest thing to a prophecy the heroes get... I especially like the phrase, "twilight sun-lit hill".
(January 6, 2021 - 4:33 pm)
"You're so kind!"
"That's amazing!"
They all heap on praise,
"Look at how well she's doing!"
"I wish my kid was like you.."
As I go about my days;
But if what truly matters
Is what's on the inside,
Behind closed doors,
Never to be confided,
Then regardless of what
you all see
Aren't I just a monster,
honestly?
(January 7, 2021 - 7:17 am)
Run run run
Over that strip
of cobblestone;
On
and on
and on
Through claustrophobic
alleys where it seems
the sun's never shone,
Farther,
farther
farther
Always
yet another step away,
another far-flung trip from home.
Don't give in
to the cold, or hot, or rain
Just continue to be bold;
And with every thap, thap, thap;
You're yet another tap-tap-tapping
step
away from home.
(January 7, 2021 - 7:29 am)
... I kinda wanna know the story behind this is. You get a sense of forboding and sadness. I wonder what the person is running from. Good job as always, @Jaybells!
(January 7, 2021 - 2:58 pm)
Aiya... I had this whole, long paragraph detailing everything but... I feel like it's not super necessary.
Knowing the details and author's intent sometimes takes a lot of the magic out of the experience, in my opinion. Plus, looking back into the poem itself, it's less connected to my thought process then I initially thought. It's almost as if the poem is the story itself, and all my intent and backstory is just the world-building you'll never get to see, but sometimes that's okay.
(January 11, 2021 - 1:55 pm)
Wow! Excellent rhythm... I really like how it begins with "run run run". That first line is an amazing start to the poem. Maybe make it the title?
(January 7, 2021 - 9:18 pm)
Hm, that's a good idea. I sorta gave up on titling poems, but it can be the unofficial title! :)
Bella say "bpzxd" lol, she's stuck in an unending cycle of burping and thennlaughing herself silly again.
(January 11, 2021 - 1:59 pm)