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Important message. This thread is for people with depression. If you wish to not write your CBer name, just post as The Three Dots. I have depression myself. I find that the best way to stop feeling so terrible is to write to other people about it.
Too much pain
So little gain
A small world
Many people
It's hard to undertand them
And they can't understand me
That's a lie
Don't make yourself
Go and die
Rebel for me
They want us to surrender
But we have the right to fight
They fight with
Hate while we fight
With love true
Water fights fire
You can't defeat hate with hate
You can defeat hate with love
Go and share
Go love others
Tell the world
How you saved us
Such strength I see inside you
Please don't let it go to waste
submitted by The Four Dots, age ...., ....
(December 22, 2016 - 4:16 pm)
(December 22, 2016 - 4:16 pm)
Your friends are gone.
You like staying where you are, not them.
No one is your friend
You want friends
Others want friends
You are someone to make friends with.
Your point in the world is partly to be a friend, but maybe not yet.
And you will be more than that.
People see you as less than you are.
You ask them to be my friend
They say yes, but they never come to your parties
No one comes.
You feel all alone.
Others will come after painful years
So many like you feel alone
And pointless, but when you find each other
You will not be, anymore.
Wait, endure, try
To find a friend.
To find a point.
To find a thought
To remember
(December 26, 2016 - 7:27 pm)
That's not true. Many people may say that, but that isn't true at all. Everyone has a purpose. It might not seem like it, but it's true. The Bible says that your purpose is to spread the Gospel to those in need. Such as: people who think that they are worthless, or people who think they are a mistake. Just ask the Lord to help you from your heart, and He will.
(January 1, 2017 - 2:37 pm)
(I apologize if anybody else posted under two dots. I am not really very good at...spending time to look through comments. If they did, I apologize for accidentally impersonating you.)
I can not be with my friends. My mother thinks all online friends are axe murderers.
But they're my only friends.
If I lose this, I lose a purpose in life.
"When life gives you lemons, build an exploding lemon" -Cave Johnson, who said something like that, followed by "WE'RE GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN" or something like that in Portal 2.
My brother is a perfect lemonade, and I'm an exploding lemon.
Okay, maybe that quote was too good to be used to describe my depression.
But my mom doesn't know. I've analyzed the situation and I don't think it would help.
I'm so busy keeping my temper under check and trying to keep my family together, and my father to not be as grumpy or complain about his back which has cancer in it, that I don't understand what to do.
(December 26, 2016 - 11:28 pm)
Hope you don't mind, but I wrote a story and decided to post it here. It's the only way I can get my feelings out, I guess.
------------
Tears streaked her pale face. Tears of devastation, of pain. No one cares, she thought. Her soul was dead, but her body didn't get the memo. Maybe it would be better if I left. They wouldn't have to be bothered with me anymore. Her mind slipped into that dark dungeon of hurt and loneliness. Her thoughts were consumed by her inner demons, all taunting her. Calling her. No way out, they told her. Soft cries turned to sobs. They're right. There's no way out. No one understands. No one ever will, she whispered softly in the corners of her mind. Her only friends--her only things she could confide in, her thoughts--were her the only ones who understood. Understood-- I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to be here, to be alive.
Her oblivious family just watched as she faded away, her heart as black as the moonless night. You win, she gave into the tormentors in her mind. They cackled in glee. Goodbye, little girl. No one will notice when you're gone, not even your family.
She nodded numbly. Yes, it is time. Time I leave. Goodbye. Don't worry about crying for me, I sure won't.
--------------
Please don't try to guess me, I'd rather just be anonymous.
(December 27, 2016 - 12:46 pm)
Thank you everyone who posted on here! I will say that everyone who posts anonymously, WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS. If anyone posts a guessing comment, I will kindly ask them to delete it. I'm so glad that this is a way for people who are struggling to get their emotions out. I have to say, this thread has more people than I thought it would.
Also, it doesn't matter if you have depression or not. This thread is for anyone who is sad, angry, discouraged, disappointed or just plain hurt. I want to let everyone know that they aren't alone, and that there are people that have felt the same pain, and survived. I want everyone to feel welcome here, and for them to feel free to rant and cry. I am here to support each and every one of you, because I know how hard it is to be around people who just can't understand, or who even just don't care.
I promise, that if you have a problem, someone here can help you get through it.
Love you all!
The Four Dots
(December 28, 2016 - 10:02 pm)
Thanks, four dots. Also thanks for making this thread. It's helped to know there's people like me.
(December 29, 2016 - 8:39 pm)
No problem, my anonymous friend. I'm glad you know you're not alone! That's the whole reason I wanted to post this, so people can know someone understands what they are going through.
(December 30, 2016 - 11:06 pm)
Yea, it makes it a lot harder thinking you're alone. I read your poetry too and you're really good! I can't write poetry to save my life, so I write little stories of it instead.
(December 31, 2016 - 10:54 am)
Just posting to top this...
(December 30, 2016 - 11:15 pm)
This is a poem I randomly came up with....
The Cause of it All
Loss of color hurts me so
In a world so grey
Emotions, I feel no more
Every night and day
It is sad how I doubt love
How I think it's fake
Let us come together now
And fix my mistake
~~~~~~
Now for another....
The Warning of the Timeless Slaves
Love, don't you conquer all?
Your battles, I have not felt in years
I remember
Those sweet times
Of protection, when I didn't fall
Now I weave through broken gears
Through a clock, marked by ember
I rise up, and break the clasp that keeps this clock together
Time has shattered, broken, cracked
I remember my own laugh
That hope, nothing but a memory
Lost, with a broken clock, that held reality tight
Memories: my life, at the age of ten, sadly was attacked
By doubt, fear, anger, hate, whipped by a wrathful staff
Everything that I used to know, crumbled inside of me
What am I supposed to think, when I can only fight?
Time is gone, it all is still, the pain is not there, yet real
You'd think it wear off, someday, somehow
Forever, I stayed in place, until I, myself, died
Nothing is left now, I was the last one, now the world is alone
I never liked this cursed earth, that I do reveal
Maybe someday I can make them see now
Even though, I felt nothing, when I was alive, I cried
It's strange how nothing is painful, down to the bone
Even though I felt nothing, I could tell when emotions should show
And I reacted as if I had them, but it was all an act
This was the ballad of a teenage girl, wanting to be free
The chains, they hurt, dragged me down
Every day, in black and white, I trampled through snow
I fell down, emotionally, and somehow feel the impact
For some reason, breathing ached, as if I needed to pay a fee
Soon, I was broken, like the clock, that made time slow, that made me frown
Broken clocks have no purpose, just like me
My broken clock broke all reality
Your clock is the same way, so guard it well
Or else you might end out like me, a slave
Til death do we fall apart
These make no sense, but it's poetry so.... Yeah they make some sort of sense.
(December 30, 2016 - 11:31 pm)
Hey everyone. :)
I'm not denying that some people really have real depression problems-- it's a thing.
But I feel depressed all the time. Not just a little down, or anything-- there are times when I have been really depressed.
Pretty much everyone feels depressed at some pont in their lives-- but that doesn't mean it's a chronic problem.
Even people who are diagnosably depressed can be restored to healthy mental state with counseling and family support.
I think it is a problem that exists completely in one's own head-- it may be sparked by, and may affect in turn, outside circumstances and forces-- but in the very end, it is all something you have in your mind.
And so, if you are feeling depressed, one of the least helpful things you can do is think "I'm chronically depressed now." In doing so, you are setting your brain on a circle of thought that is anything but healing.
Our bodies are directed by our brains, and so just thinking can affect almost everything about us-- how we feel, our nerves, our outlook, etc.
Am I the only one who has made myself miserable by dwelling on improbable events? I can start crying about all these unlikely occurrences-- and it's all in my head.
When we feel emotions for fictional characters, none of it's real-- they're all just ink-marks a machine stamped on a bit of condensed tree pulp, that some skillful writer placed in such a way as to mess with our heads.
Our minds are powerful things. This granted, we need to consider how much power we're allowing our minds to have.
It's your mind-- YOU can control it. Sure, it's not easy-- especially if you've been giving in for a while and it's become subconscious habit.
But I think this mindset everyone in the world seems to be promoting-- that you have no control over your mind and emotions-- that they control you and it's impossible to resist when they try to make you miserable-- is frankly very dangerous.
There's a reason why 'the depressed adolescent girl' has become a schtick. It's because we're all so emotional and high-strung, and inclined to be dramatic and melancholy, that we land ourselves depressed without really meaning to.
But does it really have to be that way? I mean, there's also a "disrespectful and rebellious adolescent" schtick, but many of us here should know that just because your emotions are haywire doesn't mean you have to let them loose on everyone.
So why don't we all start truly rebelling-- why don't we take control of our selves and our lives and our outlooks!
Why don't we decide that if we want to change, sitting drooped over our screens feeling unhappy and longing for freedom isn't going to do it!
Are you sick of being depressed? Then take the steering wheel. Talk to your parents about it. Set yourself guidelines-- having trouble staying off your computer? Put your computer up somewhere where you can't reach it so easily. Give it to your parents until a certain time in the day you decide. Set yourself a system of rewards-- do a part of your homework, read some of your book. Or, if that provides too much temptation, set your book aside until all your duties are done. Set it up so that you know you'll have a lot of fun when your tasks are finished.
Some people operate better on emotional prompting then the mental variety-- I am one of those. It's good to train yourself to operate more rationally, but I find it helps to use your imagination. Your imagination is so good at getting you depressed-- now it can get you out. Be smart, be creative. Think of ways to get yourself on the right track-- it takes effort, but most things worth doing-- do.
If something traumatic has happened to you in your life, or your family is truly struggling, you may have some legitimate depression cues. But it doesn't hurt to exercise self-control anyway.
It was once said that a foolish man looks at the world and weeps, but a wise man looks at the world and laughs.
And this couldn't be more true-- it's much easier to see things in a melodramatic light. It's more engaging-- it makes life seem more interesting without much effort on one's own part. Starkly put-- it's more fun.
But just because it's easier doesn't mean it's better.
So now it's all up to you. What are you going to do?
(December 31, 2016 - 12:01 pm)
Please don't take offense by this, but I just want to say that even though some people might not have "real" depression, doesn't mean they're not depressed. I've been depressed for nearly five years now, all the while doctors, parents, and people who I thought were my friends ignored it. I've tried to understand what's wrong with me that they don't see that, and have tried to "think myself out of it," but it got worse. Especially after my best friend, my only friend, killed herself last year. She had even gone to a therapist and was trying to only focus on the positive. As you can see, it didn't work. I agree that in some cases, it is a matter of mind over matter. That doesn't apply to a lot, though. Just so you know... Please do not take offense to this. That's not why I wrote it. Have a good night everyone.
(January 1, 2017 - 8:58 pm)
Well, I guess you can say depression is all in one'z head, and that's true, because our brains are actually different than other's. yes, that is why it's a disorder. trust me, I have no reason to be dipressed. Rich family, great grades, amazing friends, yet hey, it's here. And the fact it, I have a rare kind of depression, that truly I don't think many doctors know about. The kind where you don't feel. Honestly, my actions recently have seemed more robotic than anything. Trust me, i've kept telling myself that it's not real, that I'm faking it, and that everything is going to be ok, but it never works.
i'm not trying to make people feel hopeless, or make people have pity towards me, I am just trying to state how things aren't so simple all the time.
(December 31, 2016 - 11:19 pm)
She read words instead
Too keep thougts out of her head.
She felt empty inside
But she continued to hide.
Words cut her deep
Now she can't sleep
Bound by the thougts in her mind
She wished someone would find
All the things she didn't say.
(January 1, 2017 - 2:21 pm)
(January 2, 2017 - 11:44 am)