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Try this poem
Try this poem thing! I wrote apoem sitting in a writing class - homeschoolers have co-ops, in which parents teach classes for a bunch of kids over the school year - anyway, I was just sitting there listening to the teacher talk about a comparative literary analasis essay we're going to write about Frankenstein, and this line pops into my head: "Lost in time from far away." I spun off an interesting poem from that - kind of random, but I'm going to write a story about it, sort of Star Trekky. I want to see what kinds of poem y'all can write with the line "Lost in time from far away" as the first line. This can be really fun - have a set first line and just go. Don't edit too much - I've barely done anything to mine, which I'll post mine in a little bit, only first I want to see what other perspectives people take on it before I bias you with mine. Please give it a try, and have fun!
-Emily
submitted by Emily H., age 13, Sparks, NV
(April 16, 2009 - 11:17 pm)
(April 16, 2009 - 11:17 pm)
Lost in time from far away
I cannot see nor can I stay
My world's been turned upside-down
My smile's morphed into a frown
How has this happened and what's going on?
In this game of fate I am a pawn
Feeling lost and so confused
I feel like I am being used
What's going on and where am I?
What has happened and why, oh why?
I'm lost a tumble of whirling emotions
My life is just one huge commotion
Something's happened, something's wrong
I feel as befuddled as the day is long----
Wait, sorry, my mom's calling me, I have to go. I'll look a this tomorrow and say, "Jeez, that's incredibly lame," but for now, there's some of mine. Cool idea!
(April 17, 2009 - 1:49 pm)
Front of the queue...
(April 17, 2009 - 1:49 pm)
I like it, Mary. You got the same sort of mood that I had -- then again, I dont' think many people could write a funny poem from that line. :) I'll be gone until maybe Sunday afternoon, but I think I'll post my poem then. Nice!
(April 17, 2009 - 5:11 pm)
Here's mine:
Lost in time from far away
Cursed to wander on and on.
Fated to see not light of day
Never to see the shine of sun.
Ever wandering
Through the dark
Ever pondering
The way out.
Lost in lands of darkness
In a far off time
Not to see a shard of hope
Nor to see a lantern light.
Ever wandering
Through the dark
Ever pondering
The way out.
Lost in time from far away
Cursed to see no hope
Fated to wander
Through the eternal night.
Actually, it's more like a song format. Oh, well. My poems always end up like that. I'll think up something better tomorrow.
(April 17, 2009 - 11:41 pm)
That's so good... I thought you were TNO (umlaut...?) or one of the older, more experienced writers (no offense!)!
And looking at mine... that's incredibly bad. I'm not posting any more.
(April 18, 2009 - 1:04 pm)
You seriously thought I was, like, TNO?!?! Thanks! Mostly, my writing skills come from reading so many books, because then I know the basic formatting.
(April 18, 2009 - 3:14 pm)
Wow Jen, you're really good!
Where'd you get the talent!
Um... Maybe you're a bit uncomfortable with my elbow in your neck?! Umm.... well, I'm not sitting in her lap, but she's sitting in the chair and I'm leaning over the keyboard, (I mean really, my back is starting to hurt) and so my elbow is sticking in her neck.
Ummmm............. You're not angry, are you? 'Cause if you are, I'm leaving. Well anyway, I'm going.
YIKES!!!
(April 18, 2009 - 9:24 pm)
Lost in time from far away,
this is a place I cannot stay,
it is so lonely, so dark,
so uncomfortably quiet.
Is it the future?
or is it the past?
is it night?
or is it day?
I don't know,
I want to though,
tell me, tell me,
I want to know.
I know you won't,
I'll never know,
I will sit here,
not knowing at all.
I think that I did a good job now, but tomorrow I will not like it. I think it's a little cheesy.
(April 18, 2009 - 1:07 pm)
Lost in a time from far away
The little girl with her innocent face
Stares up at me from the plastic pages of the photo album.
It's hard to imagine that the girl
Was once me, the teenage I am now
She had no cares, only blissful days with sun and no rain.
If I could turn the pages back in time
I'd land myself in her body to be happy all the time
To forget hurt and broken promises and lost best friends
But she's lost
Lost in a time from far away.
(April 18, 2009 - 5:39 pm)
Meadow, we don't know if your dad would want you to post the poem he wrote.
Admin
(April 18, 2009 - 6:36 pm)
He said it was OK. Truthfully.
(April 19, 2009 - 5:07 pm)
Hey, everybody. I like all the poems that are posted right now. Meadow, I think your best stanza is, "Is is the future?/Or is it the past?/Is it night?/Or is it day?" I'm not sure why I like that, but I do. And Jennifer, I really liked your last stanza (I think it was your last.) Anyway, here's my poem - I still haven't edited it.
Lost in time from far away
Wand'ring lonely from your home
Watching stars spin far away
Remembering places where you've flown.
Doomed to wander endless skies
Seeking that which cannot be
Wathcing time as swift it flies
Captive, yet forever free.
What far-off systems have you known?
What distant galaxies have you found?
What strange new flora have you grown?
You've trod what fresh, uncharted ground?
Your wanderings will forever range
Throughout the ages, doomed to life
And not one memory can time change
Of the world before your sacrifice.
I don't like the line "What strange new flora have you grown?" That seems cheesy somehow, but right now I'm really tired and can't think up a better one.
I kind of like the storyline implied, though. Suggestions are welcomed with open arms and a virtual cup of tea as thanks.
*Yawn* I'm way too tired. I'm going away before I start rambling too much.
-Emily
(April 18, 2009 - 10:09 pm)
Oh, you mean the one that goes:
Lost in time from far away
Cursed to see no hope
Fated to wander
In the eternal night
My favourite is the first one:
Lost in time from far away
Cursed to wander on and on
Fated to see no light of day
Never to see the shine of sun.
(April 19, 2009 - 10:00 am)
Ooh, Lena's was really good! It was different from all the others that we've posted (and I'd say it was the best, no offense to anyone else).
What did Meadow's dad write, just out of interest?
It was a poem. No one should submit work by another person. Credit to and permission from the author should always be obtained first.
Admin
(April 19, 2009 - 2:39 pm)
I had asked him, he had said yes. So can I put it on Admins? If you say no then I won't.
Is this the poem by your dad? This should be all right.
--Admin
(April 20, 2009 - 12:08 pm)