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Megan and Annie
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Megan and Annie
Megan and Annie are doing a Historical Fiction story.
Rules:
1. No fighting.
2. No taking over the story. Work it out with your partner so you can both do the story equally.
3. Keep the story PG.
4. GloWorm says to always keep to your genre, but I disagree: if you really want to, change genres.
Thank you very much! :)
submitted by BellaTrix♡♥♡
(March 30, 2009 - 4:21 pm)
(March 30, 2009 - 4:21 pm)
Megan? Where are you? I'm trying not to panic, but it has been almost a week since your last comment, and it looks like you abandoned me. Please come back!
(April 27, 2009 - 2:18 pm)
((Okay, I did what you said, and rewrote the first bit. Please come back soon, I need your critique.))
Lorei knelt down and laid a damp cloth on her mother's pale forehead. "Mama, it's me. Please wake up, Mama." Her mother murmured incomprehensibly and rolled over. Despair flooded Lorei as she stared at her mother's silhouette, motionless except for the slight rise and fall as she breathed. Her mother would never awake from this deathly slumber, never. She would instead join Lorei's brother among those taken by the plague's curse. Suddenly, hopelessness was replaced by fury as Lorei was scalded by a burning wave of anger and a urge to destroy took over her senses. Her discipline and training kept her in place, but even so, her heart was pounding as she slowly unclenched her fists and took a deep breath. The soothing darkness of the sick tent seemed claustrophobic, but left her with a feeling of resolve. She could find the cure, she knew she could. Though young, she was powerful. She was fair archer and swordsman, but with and oaken staff, she was unstoppable. It simply came to her instinctively, as naturally as speaking with the trees or with the birds. She simply had to be chosen as a representative.To sit in camp, waiting, as her mother struggled and clung to life-that would be too painful for words.After carefully removing the damp cloth, Lorei stood and walked shakily from her mother's side.
((Sorry, I know it sounds rushed. I was thinking that instead of writing the same parts of the story from opposite points of view, we could write different parts of the story from opposite points of view. What do you think?))
(April 27, 2009 - 5:38 pm)
OK, so critique time.
This is perfect! You have really developed Lorei's character and given her the perfect motivation! I still don't understand why she was confident that she would be chosen. But otherwise, perfect. (I may be so enthusiastic partly because my friend is writing a story, but she has no character development, so I have no idea why each person does what they do. I doubt that is the case, though.) I'll write the next part in a little bit.
(April 29, 2009 - 4:22 pm)
ECHO, echo, echo, echo! Megan, Final chance, come back or I'll assume you've either gone on a really long vacation or abandoned me.
(April 29, 2009 - 12:46 pm)
I'm really, really, sorry, Annie! My teachers are piling the homework on so bad that I'm sleep-deprived! That's not an exaggeration, sadly. I don't have time for anything but homework. I'll send this, then send critique. Please, don't give up on me! I haven't had time to write, but it is constantly on my mind, knowing that I need to get back to you.
(April 29, 2009 - 4:15 pm)
Adawna slowly packed her belongings back in her hometree. She angrily swiped at the treacherous tears that blurred her vision. Why did it have to be Lorei? She would have enough problems as it was. Why Lorei, of all the people? Why?
She sank down onto her bed and sobbed into her moss cover. then her mother walked in.
"Oh, Adawna," her mother murmured, stroking her daughter's hair. "You, of all people, don't need to cry."
((Grr, I'm drained on energy and ideas. I can't finish right now, but I'll try to be back as soon as I possibly can.))
((So you know, I won't be here Thursday and Friday. I'll do my best to get caught up this weekend.))
(April 29, 2009 - 4:53 pm)
Yay! You're back! Sorry, I can't write right now, but I'll try to write something soon.
Annie
(April 30, 2009 - 2:29 pm)
I'm really sorry, Annie, but I can't continue while school's in session. I'm really stressed out right now because of school, and I'm even losing sleep, just trying to keep up with homework. My left leg starts giving me major pain issues when I'm stressed and sleep-deprived, and it's killing me right now. But the good news is, my school lets us out early, so you will be seeing me again in a month. I'm really sorry to be, in a way, dumping you, but if I didn't tell you, I probably wouldn't live to the end of the year. And that's not an exaggeration. Again, I wish there was another way, but I have no choice. School has to come before Inkwell. Please understand, and if it isn't too much trouble, could you tell the people on "Roleplay Cont. Cont. Cont." why they aren't going to see me? Just please keep in mind that I just need a month. Summer can't come soon enough for me and my melting brain. I'm off to rest my cramped hand and leg muscles. Again, please understand that I'm at my breaking point.
Sorry,
~Megan
(May 3, 2009 - 9:50 pm)
Thanks for letting me know. I'll see what I can do.
(May 4, 2009 - 2:00 pm)
This is just to keep it in the front so if/when Megan gets back when school's out and exams are over, she can come back.
Annie
(May 22, 2009 - 2:27 pm)
Thanks for the thought, Annie. I'm almost done with school, so hang in there! (That goes for me, too.) I just have until June 3, then school is officially over! Until then, I hate science! Argh!! *passes out*
(May 24, 2009 - 4:43 pm)
Cool! I get out June 3 too!
(May 26, 2009 - 4:23 pm)
Yes! Final Exams are over!!!!! Now I can relax, because the rest of the year is absolutely work-free!
Even better, when you're ready to start again, I'll be free! Yes! I've been so busy, I haven't had time to sit dow at my computer and write! No wonder I'm cracked right now.
(Wow. All of those sentences but the last ended in exclamation marks. I really am cracked.)
(May 28, 2009 - 7:06 pm)
Hallelujah! I'm taking Honors Algebra, so I know how you feel. I goes on my (eeek!) high school transcript, even though I'm only in 7th grade. That is, technically I'm an eighth grader now, but that just sounds too weird. Anywho, I just got out of school, and although I am going to various summer camps over the summer, will be here for the majority of the time. On a separate note, it doesn't seem likely that Lorei and Adawna will go into the Human Realm, what shall the quest entail? And purely out of curiosity, is Tortall a real place?
(June 3, 2009 - 6:53 pm)
Great to have both of us back, Annie! So, back to business.
Honors Algebra- Great for you! Just don't sweat about it being on your transcript, because it can't hurt you. I know, because I've been there in 7th and 8th grade. Wow. I'm still in shock that I'm now a freshman.
This sumer, all I'm doing is going to Texas in two days for a month (my Grandma lives there) and going on a trip with my newly-Seniorized Girl Scout troop to spend a weekend at a beach house for our end-of-the-year party. I'll have internet access at my Grandma', though, so don't worry about that. I'm not sure about the beach house.
So, now that that's done, let's get down to the real business.
I'm not quite sure what the quest should entail, so for now, let's wing it. Just see where it goes. I do that all the time on Inkwell, and I rather like the results.
(Tortall is a medevial land created by the author Tamora Pierce. It is just like that time period except for the tiny fact that some people have the Gift, or magical skill. And Wild Magic, the ability to communicate with animals. And Air Magic, which is... Well, you don't want theentire rundown of the multiple series that she has written. Just let it suffice to say that it is a land that I am obsessed with, created by my favorite author.)
I'll write later. Right now, I'm supposed to be cleaning my room.
(June 5, 2009 - 10:59 am)