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Fictional Problems III!!!
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Fictional Problems III!!!
Fictional Problems III!!!
I did a couple of these a while back, and, if I do say so myself, they were fairly popular. For those of you who weren't around then, Fictional Problems is basically just making up insane fiascos which others will advise us upon. For example:
Person One:
Help! My helicopter broke down on the top of Mount Fuji, and all I have for company are a swarm of angry groundhogs! Of course, they have consumed nearly all my sustenance; alas! all I have is a single chocolate chip cookie. SOS!
Person Two:
You should craft a sled from the helicopter, tame the groundhogs, and tie the cookie to a string which you will proceed to tie to a stick. Then, get the groundhogs hitched up to the sled, and encourage them to run by holding the cookie out in front of them. Travel, by means of the groundhog-powered sled, to the nearest village. Hope this helps!
So yeah, randomness is the name of the game on this thread. Have fun!
submitted by The Chocabookaholic, age 12
(October 7, 2014 - 3:21 pm)
(October 7, 2014 - 3:21 pm)
It's simple, really. Just throw the carrot at the elves, who will try to grab it and return it to the snowman (in order to preserve the snowman/elf alliance). Then, jump onto one of the reindeer having flight lessons nearby and fly home. As to your being on the naughty list, hire a ninja to sneak past the elves and cross your name off of it; and put you in your rightful place on the nice list.
Oh no! I've been trapped in a troll's dungeon with nothing but a quilting kit! The trolls plan to roast me in the morn, so I guess you could say there's a bit of urgency involved! What should I do?!?!?
(October 13, 2014 - 10:59 am)
Winter: Sneeze at the lion and he will bow to you and worship you!
Chocabookaholic: Wait until they pounce and attack them with your silver quilting needles. Trolls hate silver and will let you leave.
(October 13, 2014 - 11:20 am)
HEEELP! I lost my map to a kingdom where I need to go. Now I am stranded in a potato field which is infested by ladybugs, with only a fridge magnet and a pickle! How will I get to the kingdom now??
(October 13, 2014 - 3:56 pm)
HELP! I've been captured by the tooth fairy and have nothing to eat or drink. The only thing available to me is 3 baby teeth. There used to be 5, but I tried to throw 2 at her and she is too fast and small for me too hit.... p.s. I am tied to the wall with rope and the world's stongest floss.
bubbles says meme...... how selfish
(October 13, 2014 - 4:13 pm)
Use the sharpest tooth to cut your way loose and eat the tooth fairy.
MBJ: Throw the fridge magnet. There is metal on the map and it will attach itself. The distract the ladybugs by feeding them the pickle.
HELP A CAT IS EATING ME!! I ONLY HAVE A DOLLAR BILL!!!
(October 13, 2014 - 5:07 pm)
Brooke E.: Stuff the dollar bill into the cats mouth. Dash away.
(October 14, 2014 - 4:29 pm)
Very easy. Lure the tooth fairy in by saying one of your teeth is gonna fall out (floss yourself with the strongest floss until your teeth start bleeding for more drama) and strangle her with the floss.
(October 13, 2014 - 5:44 pm)
Dear readers,
If you managed to find this message, it might be too late. The Officc is going to take control. They have created machines that will delete the human race, and destroy everything. I have uploaded myself into this computer, so that you can defeat the Officc and save everything. I will only give you this clue so you can release me into the Officc database.
My name is not name, but my name has name. My name has ends with tea and it ends with see, but doesn't have any a s. What is my name?
(October 13, 2014 - 5:56 pm)
(oops! I messed up on the clue. It should say, My name is not name, but my name has name in it. My name ends with tea and ends with see, but doesn't have any s. What is my name?)
(October 13, 2014 - 7:16 pm)
HEEEELP! Im trapped in a warehouse with a crazed sheep, a big eagle, and a satchel full of razzleberries! What should I DOOOOOOOO?
(October 14, 2014 - 8:59 pm)
Attract the big eagle's attention by making choking sounds, and then throw a sheep at it and hope it goes into a feeding frenzy. Then, pelt the remaining sheep with razzleberries until they all stampede towards the warehouse door, at which point the door will shatter. Then make your getaway, go home, and make razzleberry pie.
(October 15, 2014 - 3:19 pm)
Lol there was only one sheep but that still works.
(October 15, 2014 - 6:00 pm)
Oh. Well, let's just pretend you had a clone machine in your back pocket. And...
I am in the mouth of a dragon, holding a tube of toothpaste, on top of a giant mound of Jello. There are two thousand little spiders gaurding a portal to Hogwarts nearby. Now what?
Oh, and I like spiders. So no need to kill them all or anything.
(October 16, 2014 - 4:42 pm)
Tame the spiders with your Hogwarts magic, and then instruct them to eat the Jello. The dragon will fall, and when it lands on its stomach, it will spit you out. Then, trap the dragon by encasing him in toothpaste. Finally, ride the tamed spiders through the portal and to Hogwarts!
(October 16, 2014 - 8:17 pm)
Simple as that: Simply mix the jello with the tooth paste and drop it on the dragons tongue. Everybody hates jello, everybody hates toothpaste, so together they should be so revolting that the dragon will scream in agony and spit you halfway to Mars or through the portal to Hogwarts.
(March 27, 2015 - 10:03 am)