I've got a few more! 

Me: "Please don't tell me you have zombie interval! (What happens when you spear an interval with a tally mark and math toxins spill out? You'll just have to wait and see. -This is what I wrote on my context sheet, but this was really my method of incouraging one of my friends to enjoy math - it turned more into a math battle between tally marks and intervals though. The intervals lost. ) 

A: "V-I-D-E-O G-A-M-E-S"

Me: "Video games?"

A: "VIDEO GAMES!"

Me: "What about video games?"

A: "I dunno" (Why were we talking about video games? For absolulty no reason)

Mrs. G " The cause of death was..."

E: "Stupidity!" (Our class is reading Call of the Wild and three characters, well, I'll try not to spoil anything, but they died. Of stupidity. Sort of.)

Father: If I've said it once, I've said it 1 million times, STOP EATIG DIRT!" (I promise you I don't eat dirt. That is my dog who my father was yelling at)

Me: "They're evil mashed potatoes that fall from the sky!" (Snow. This is a snow hater's definition of snow. I like it, but I was pretending to be a different thing that hates snow - and yes, thing. Not human. I will let you wonder.)  

Mr. R: "Radiation: Dooooo!" (Don't mispernounce deviation in our math class: The teacher might start acting strange)

A:"I'm making a poster for my channel, do you want some Easter eggs?" (What would you think if I told you my final answer to this question was 'mussles'? It was! Okay - I guess I have to explain - A was talking about Easter eggs in media terms: they are pieces of media used in other spaces according to them. )

Me: "How would you like it if a stranger clipped your toe nails?" (My dog hates having her nails trimmed, so I was trying to sympathize with her.)  

As you can see - there are some mighty strange things going on over here. Who knows what will happen next? I'm sure I'll have some more of these soon! Also, lets hope the spacing works this time! I noticed it didn't come out right last time, so I hope it's working now! 

Me: "But why dad?"

My dad: "Because patriarchy."

(we were talking about the messiah, and I asked dad why there couldn't be a daughter of God) 

Me: "But why does the-"

My friend: "Excuse me, but did I ask about the chicken man??"

~~

"I kinda want to buy a new face"

"...?"

"Nevermind"

~~

"Y'know, I feel like there should be- AIEEEEE IT'S A FLYING BURGER-"

"OH No, LOOK OUT!"

"...What were you saying?" 

~~

"What do you mean?"

"Idk I guess when you put the serpent in my bed, I- wait. That came out wrong." 

~~

"Well, when CAN you help me with the cheesy duck?!?"

~~
"SU-BO!"

~~

"Mom, can we go looking at brains- I mean paints?"

~~

"Let's do weird stuff with Hamilton lyrics!"

"K"

"Hm"

"You'll be back,

Like before,

I will fight the fight and kill the door"

"For your love,

For your face,

And I'll lovvvve ya 'til I'm stuck in space"

~~

THE END

*bows* I have a wacky life

*goes to orchestra recital*

Teacher: The *insert generic name here* Removal Act. Your going to Lollie Pollie Puddin' and Pie Preschool. 

Me: *laughs*

Teacher:  What are you laughing about, you're going too

(we were talking about The Indian Removal Act and my teacher was joking around before he got serious)

Okay - so I was talking to my friend a few minutes ago, and this is what happened. First, we came up with an idea for a teacher gift from the DLs at the end of the year (there are only three of us, so it wouldn't be hard to acomplish). That was the productive part. From there, we started talking about someone with 28 pairs of shoes (that was from a math problem). Then, we got to the point where we were talking about stuffing cars in shoes and I got some of my favorite qoutes yet. That was a really long explaination, but I think these qoutes are worth it...

A: "You can't put a sports car in a pair of jordans"

Then, we come up with a way to put a car in a shoe (magic) and this is what I say...

Me: "Magic is the most logical explaination - and if it wasn't, I'd hate to see the mad scientist who did it." 

And there you have it folks! A day in the life of Neverseen's school classes! Ba dum dum! (and yesterday, we were trying to rename Earth...) 

So, I haven't been able to post here often since I have the memory of a goldfish and forget things right after I hear them, but this quote really stuck with me. And, no, I'm not even going to attempt context XD

B: "Yo, did the volleyball get stuck in the tree?" 

H: "Yes, GIVE ME YOUR SHOE."  

my mom: "so what is our plan for the day?"

my 4yr old brother: "EAT SUGAR ALL DAY!!" 

Classmate A: There's your crash course on Mcarthyism-

Classmate B: *pointing* Frosted Flakes!

Classmate A (different classmate): (to a glove) You are  miracle. *holds up glove Lion King style* 

This is from my fave TV show, The Monkees:

MIKE: I gotta hand you one thing, Pete.

PETER: What's that?

MIKE: You have a great respect for fear.

PETER: you're right, scares me to death.

MIKE: What does?

PETER: Fear does.

--------------------------------------------

PETER: Soup's on, come and get it!

MIKE: Oh, cream of root beer. *Eats a spoonful* Well, Peter, you've reached a new low.

MICKY: Peter!

PETER: Here we go again.

MICKY: I've turned into a savage beast, in search of victims for my horrible crimes! *Play-chomps on Mike's hand, which Mike sprinkled with salt*

MIKE: Try the bird.

MICKY: Yes, the bird! My faithful bird! We must run away! Into the country-side! *Howls*

*Insert bangin' on the door here, while Micky is climbin' on the stairs INCORRECTLY*

MIKE: *Tugs on Micky's pant leg gently* Here come the villagers with their torches.

MICKY: Oh. *Keeps howlin' as he answers the door, which their landlord was bangin' on*

*DUN DUN DUN DUH DAAAAAH*

So, the whole story behind the second one, is that Peter made "soup" and I guess in the show he made it regularly, so Micky pretends it's stuff that turns him into a were-wolf, and don't ask me why Mike put salt on his hand, 'casue I have NO. CLUE why he did that.

"my coat likes concrete."

And another one from The Monkees:

MICKY: *Makes big speech to this Druvanian ballerina who's holdin' a fake gun, and convinces her to hand it over* *Two seconds later* ALRIGHT!!! YOU'RE TAKIN' ORDERS FROM ME!!!!!!

DAVY: *While Micky's doin' that screamin* OH, NO, PLEASE, DON'T!!!!!!!!

MICKY: NOT YOU DING-A-LING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I wish I had the confidence of these fingers"

CAPTCHA says tedms. Ted has MS? I'm sorry to her that Ted, my aunts have MS too. 

I always hear some then forget, but last night I finally got and remembered two funny things!

"I mean I did... Steal you potato on Mother's Day."

"My beloved potato!"  

Well that's all, but still, pretty funny, no?

Hahaha

H: What are we talking about?

J: ME BEING LOUD!

H2: What page are we on? 

H3: oh my god J SHUT UPPPPP 

~

in reading class when we had to act out a scene from A midsummer's night's dream 

G: Jeez A, it looks like you're suffocating yourself

A: I'm being a moon!

C: no, jubi and G have to be muuuuuch closer. like, touch my hand

Jubi(me): ewwww hand sweat

~

A: you should come over to my house and eat religious pilgrims with me!

~

T: NO MY CHILD *talking about those wishing dandelions*

A: wait, what happened?  

T: I RAN WITH IT AND IT DIIIIIEEDDDD

~

*in group chat*

N: ace meme deal with it 

"I don't want shoes in my ants" (Trying to say ants in my shoes..)

"HANK! MY TEACUP!" (Hank the Cowdog referance, in a Drover voice)