I feel like nobody really notices me on the CB.  I'm not new, I've been on here for a few months and it's mostly awesome, but I feel like I'm kinda in the shadow of the more popular CBers.  For example- I made a ski lodge recently (under and alias) that I thought would be really cool but barely anyone's joined compared to other ski lodges... and when I post art I feel like nobody really compliments me on it...

I want to seem perfect to everyone so I over think everything. After I posted something I thought that no one liked me and that I was cringy. At school I try to do everything but I always think that people hate me. I just can't shake that feeling. I know people like me but I feel like they don't. It's actually caused me to ruin friendships in the past. 

I never really liked how there were just "popular" CBers. I don't think I was ever one of them but they got the praise and they got the attention. Their threads had posts and wern't ignored. People payed attention to their CBveseries. 

I'm not sure why but I hate showing people I know my art, my singing, my dances, or even my school work. I can't do it. I think I'm bad and that I'm going to be humiliated. I've lost so much in life because I didn't want to tell people things.

I randomly become closed off. One minute I'm talking about everything and the next I'm super quiet and get defensive about everything. I don't know why. 

On one of my CBverseries no one posted on the thread. Only a few people did. It was a huge blow to my already falling sense of self confidence. I actually took a break because my life had some issues that I needed to adress. 

I'm not very active. My life overwhelmed me and  I couldn't take it anymore. I kind of dropped off the face of the earth. 

There is alot more I want to say but I don't think the admins will let me.  

Sometimes I feel so lonely. It's not because I don't have friends or don't like to socialize, it's because I feel like the things I enjoy are weird and obscure, even though they aren't. Take comics for example, I LOVE them, but I feel like if I nerd-out about them people will think I'm a very odd person. Like, why would I dedicate my time reading comics and learning about different superheroes when I could be studying science? Do people really think this? What do people think when I say I want to write for DC Comics one day? Do they think that's a dumb dream? What about my other hobbies, like art and writing, are they a waste of time too? I'm just not sure of my place in the world and it makes me really nervous.

I feel guilty. All over the world, people are dying--- starving, murdered because of the color of their skin, dying of COVID. People are being hurt because they look different or think different or act different or love different from someone's twisted idea of "perfect. "

I love you all. Each of you is worthy and beautiful. Each of you matters, and each of you are perfect just the way you are.

I need to vent:

This week I invited my friend to go to a fundraiser haunted house and to hang out on halloween. She said her mom wouldn't let her because of covid but she posts that she went to the same place just with a different friend. They don't even go to our school! I feel like I'm just a last resort or people just throw me away. The thing is the haunted house looked like fun and no one else could go. 

I am constantly thrown aside and ignored. I feel like i'm trying so hard to be who they want me to be but they still don't care. I'm never good enough. I want to find my people. my group. where I can just be myself and we just talk or hang out. People always think I'm fine but I'm not and I can't tell anyone. This was part of the reason I got on this site in the first place. I could be myself and everyone accepted me. 

I wish we could all meet in real life. 

I have two profiles on the cb.