Places to Chat
ConfessionsC
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
ConfessionsC
Confessions
Confess your deepest secrets here, anonymously, if you'd prefer
I won't judge
submitted by Anonymous, age x, x
(October 15, 2020 - 1:43 pm)
(October 15, 2020 - 1:43 pm)
Oops. This must be partly my fault. Aaah!
One thing I'd suggest is post more- like post a lot more. I try to post every day if I have time- people will notice you more.
I do know that you exist, however. wHY? because you've posted this!
<3333 sending best wishes your way my friend!
I feel the same exact way with my so-called friends! they never notice my comments, and I've become, well, invisible, and they call me toxic whenever I post a friendly suggestion, tell them to be quiet, or anything else! people curse and yell at me to shut up and say that they're in class- when they chatter nonstop when Im in class. I tell them to 'please be quiet' but they never listen. The things that I suggest get no other comments.
just try to be you! you'll find your group sometime :)
-a sad anonymous
oh my gosh my captcha said ikmzx! i know mzx? i know emzie x? OH. MY. GOSH.
my captcha just said they know one of my friends.
*happy*
(February 12, 2021 - 4:54 pm)
First off, I agree with Lumi 100%. I'm not sure if you're the same person who commented something similar on this thread before, but check out the first couple pages for how people reacted before. I don't know how active you are either, but I'm pretty sure the more active people are also the most recognized, so it could just be people haven't seen you enough. I was here for more than a year before I started getting recognized and having friends, because I didn't post much before. And everyone has threads with not many posts. I do. (see: the Photography Thread on CaC *hint hint don't let it die*) Even though I'm fairly well-known here, I totally relate to this when it comes to irl and the NaNo forums. And finally, it doesn't really matter that much whether people like you online. There's a million reasons you might not be recognized here, but don't get worked up over what others think of you.
Be yourself, and good luck.
I just realized that I really enjoy giving advice. That's probably good...
(February 12, 2021 - 5:41 pm)
I´d say.... about 1 post a day. I think that's a lot. And I check all the posts on the front pages for everything (inkwell,chrip at cricket etc etc) I read around 2 pages in th beginning, but I must confess that I can´t remember it well. Also, I would have posted on yours but my computer cannot download the picture LOL
(February 12, 2021 - 7:51 pm)
I only join Solo Writes, not RPs.
Why? Because I don't want to write a lot for other people. I'd prefer to let others write, so nobody sees how terrible I am at writing
______________________________________
x Someone x
(February 12, 2021 - 2:07 pm)
I promise you, Someone, no one is going to judge you for your writing here. If you don't join RPs because you don't like writing, that is completely fine. But if you aren't joining RPs even though you like writing because you're worried someone will judge you for it, I urge you to reconsider. None of us will judge you for your writing. RPing is fun because each of us contributes to the story. There aren't rules, except for the basic RP etiquette you can find in the Ultimate Guide. You should try one and see if you like it. Like I said, none of us will judge. My writing was horrible when I came on the CB, but because I've RPed, and written a cringey solo write (I don't even want to think about that solo write XD), and done NaNos, I'm a much better writer, I think. What I said to Tears also goes for you-- writing takes practice. No one is immediately a great writer, and no one expects you to be. All of us here have cringey writing we've done. (Very cringey. Like, I never want to think of this again cringey.) We won't judge, like I said.
(February 12, 2021 - 4:10 pm)
Here are some confessions of my own. Don't feel obligated to respond, it's a rant directed at no one.
I love giving pep talks. It makes me feel good about myself, that I can make other people feel good and that people think I give good advice.
But it also makes me feel guilty sometimes. I feel guilty about, honestly, everything. I feel guilty that I'm so lucky to have been born where I was, in the year I was, I feel so lucky to be able to complain about a computer. I feel so guilty about those things. I feel so guilty that I am so lucky. I feel guilty that I am someone who can brush things off. I feel guilty about my confidence. I feel guilty about my grades, which are good and I'm not even trying. I feel guilty every time I get a compliment, even though I feel good at the same time. I feel guilty that not one thing comes to mind when I try to think of a time I've been discriminated against, bullied, or anything. I feel guilty that my biggest problems are so insignificant.
And sometimes? The confessions thread makes me feel depressed. It makes me feel like a horrible person that I feel depressed because someone else is depressed. Not like empathy, not that kind. But I feel terrible because I feel like it's my fault. When people say they feel unheard, unseen, like they are never complimented, I feel awful, because I am complimented. And it's my fault, partly, that they aren't, that they feel unseen and unheard, and...
I want to be a better person then this. I try to be a better person than this. But sometimes I think I'm all ideals and no actions. I'm all talk and no action; all cloak and no dagger.
I don't have the grit to do anything I say. My words are just words. I care about everything I say, I mean everything I say, but I can't seem to support those beliefs and words with actions. I feel like a fake.
and I (you guessed it!) feel guilty about that.
I'm a horrible person. That's how I feel. At the same time, I know I'm not a horrible person. But I feel like here I am my ideal self, and no one sees the parts of me I wish I didn't have. No one here sees that I can be so awful, except the admins, when I blow up at an anonymous comment and say awful things. (Thanks, admins, for not letting me post those things. Thank you so much.)
I don't even have real problems but here I am, ranting about feeling guilty and sad when I have nothing to feel sad about.
Again, I just needed to get that out. Don't feel obligated to respond to this. Except does anyone have any tips for how to actually stick to your ideals? I have my ideals, but I feel like I don't do anything to support them. (like I said above.)
and sometimes it feels like life has no point. And then I tell myself I'm not just here to live for myself, I'm here to help the people around me, and the people in the future. I'm here for them. Not just me. But if I'm all words and ideals and nothing else, how am I living for the people around me? How am I doing that, if all I do is talk about what the world should be like?
Does anyone know how I can start trying to make the world what it should be like?
This is *very* rambly and makes not a lot of sense... but it's a jumble of disconnected thoughts I needed to put down in words. I honestly feel better just after writing that. Don't feel guilty reading this, none of this is anyone's fault except me. And my imagination, because I shouldn't be feeling guilty for half the things in this post.
(February 12, 2021 - 8:23 pm)
Gosh, same. But Twilight is right. I mostly just feel guilty that, with all of the wonderful things I have, I don't even do anything impactful to improve the world and spend my time making comments on an internet site and other unhelpful things.
I also just feel so empty, with no real irl friends, no crush, no potential friends or crushes because I'm stuck inside with nothing to do but wait until the pandemic is over. I don't have any one person I care about, outside my family, and it makes life feel so pointless. Yeah, I don't know how to end this...but, like, I'm fine. I'm not depressed except for occasionally, I just have bouts of sadness.
I hope you feel better, Lumi, you really are such an amazing person, I know you can do good things with your life, and don't feel guilty. Life is hard for all of us, even if your problems don't seem that bad <333
(February 13, 2021 - 11:06 am)
<3<3<3
I know how you feel Lumi. The fact that I am one of the lucky ones can make me hurt so badly, and at the same time I'm screaming at myself that I have no right to feel that pain because there are so many people who are hurting worse than I am.
The thing is, if everyone who felt guilty for being lucky became one of the hurting people, the world would be divided into two sections: the unlucky people and the billionares who don't care. We are needed. We are important, the people who were born into a life that gives us nearly everything we want, because we can use what we have to help others. Feeling terrible that we're lucky is not a bad thing, it's a sign that we have hearts and compassion, and that someday, WE WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
And Lumi, you are going to make a difference in the world. I know it, because you are one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever had the privilege to know. Reading through the confessions thread makes you feel guilty, sad, and depressed, and yet you still take the time to repond to every comment that no one else has. You put aside your bad feelings to pour good things into someone else. I have had about two anonymous confessions here, you responded to both of them, and everything you said made me feel so much better. Your words ARE actions. They are helping us, and they are beautiful, and you are so talented. It's brave to help people when you're in pain yourself, and you still do it. And that's why I'm certain that you are going to do something that will change the world.
Maybe you will be walking through a city and see someone begging for money to feed their baby daughter, and you will give that money and save a child's life. Maybe you will write a book that makes thousands of people feel like they have finally come home. Maybe you will give speeches and donate money and food and ideas to some cause. Or maybe it will be something else. Probably you will wait until you're grown up, but in the meantime, you are making a difference right here.
(February 13, 2021 - 1:20 pm)
I don't have enough time to respond anything useful but- listen, your words ARE actions. You have the power to cheer people up, make them believe in themselves, make them smile, give them ideas. Someday you'll find a way to make your ideas come true. Maybe you're not there yet, but you will get there. <33
(also, side note, a lot of what you said reminded me of the song If You See Me from Over and Out, especially "But I feel like here I am my ideal self, and no one sees the parts of me I wish I didn't have." *starts singing* *can't remember the lyrics* "...see the parts of me that I don't want to uncover" or something like that)
(February 15, 2021 - 2:04 pm)
Lumi, I’m going to repeat to you what you told someone else on this thread. Don’t feel guilty about things you can’t control. You can’t control where you were born, the amount of money of the family you were born into. But you can help those who are less fortunate.
As for the depression, I often find myself feeling the same way. I feel guilty about complaining, so I don’t talk about it and let it build up until it results in a major mental breakdown because I just can’t hold it in anymore. But listen. You matter, your emotions matter. Don’t feel guilty about it. Since I stopped holding it in so much, my mental health has improved slightly.
And you are not a horrible person. You are one of the kindest people I have ever met.
This kind of turned into me venting about myself a little bit, that is not it's purpose, sorry about that.
(February 13, 2021 - 1:49 am)
There was a kid on my bus yesterday. He's mean to my friends and me a lot. He also annoys us purposefully a lot, so I annoy him back. And that was working. Until yesterday, he was being worse than normal, and said he won't ride the bus anymore, and saying he wouldn't listen to us, and I called him dumb. I couldn't help myself, I didn't think about it, it just came out of my mouth. And to make it worse: I forgot he had dyslexia until he reminded me. And I felt really bad. Like, really bad. I apologized, but I know apologies don't mean everything, because I know that people that have been mean to me have apologized and it hasn't made me feel a whole lot better. Now I feel like a kind of horrible person and I don't know how I'm supposed to fix it.
(February 13, 2021 - 10:19 am)
I'd suggest to be kind to him. Not like hunting him down to say something nice, but when you see him, smile and say hi. If he drops something and doesn't notice, pick it up for him. Hold the door open. Don't be creepy of course, just be a kind person, even when he's being rude. Because being rude back won't help anyone.
(February 13, 2021 - 2:40 pm)
Ok, thanks for the advice. I'll try that.
(February 17, 2021 - 8:08 am)
Thanks, Lumi, for responding. I decided to post this here so that people would see it.
So, the decision I have made is for now to focus on becoming closer to my friends first. I know I am avoiding the probem, but I just don't know how to deal with it, okay? Plus if I say anythng my sister woud get super mad.
I know this probaby sounds like I am a jealous brat but I can't help but compare my reationhip with my friends to my sister's. Like, she'll emai them a million times a day and they will respond quickly, and I will occasionally email them and they would respond half the time. I want help knitting myself back into my friendgroup because I honestly feel like I have hardly any friends. Not like that is a first for me but now it's actually kind of hurting. So basically for now I will start by reaching out to them more.
(February 17, 2021 - 4:27 pm)
I think that's a great first step! One more thing I'd like to say, though, is that I know it feels safer to stick with the friends you've already made, but you're never out of room for friends. You can always make more. So while you're reaching out to your old friends, maybe try reaching to someone new, too. Just a suggestion.
Also, I don't think that you sound like a jealous brat. *hugs*
(February 17, 2021 - 6:02 pm)