You could be gender fluid, nonbinary, whatever. You will find out eventually, just be who you are and take it slow. You are still young. About you liking girls mostly but have having a crush on a guy, you could be bi, omni, pan, etc. Just remember, that, as you said, God loves everyone so don't listen to anyone who is unkind to you. Love yourself, and know that God loves you. 

Its okay. We care about you. I think how you feel is how you feel, but youll always be yourself! :) 

(I have no good advice and I have no idea if what I´m saying is helping but I hope it did) 

Let's start with a quote:

"Compare where you are with where you want to be and you'll get nowhere." 

~Sara Bareilles, "Uncharted", Kaleidoscope Heart

Think about how far you've come- where did you start when you began writing? You have improved so much since then. Go read something from when you just started writing and embrace the cringiness. Now read something you're writing right now. Is it still cringey? Maybe a little bit. Is it as cringey? Definitely not.

Sure, you're not a famous author, but I'm assuming you're a kid- you have all the time in the world to get better at this if you want. You will always have more things to learn, room to improve, grammar to fix, spelling to check, ideas to come up with, chapters to draft, revisions to make, scenes to edit, etc., etc.. But you will always have improved from, say, last year. Your second draft will usually be better than your first draft. It gets tough to stay motivated, and stay confident, sometimes, but writing isn't something you should be doing because you feel like you have to. Writing is something you should be doing to grow as a person, and because you enjoy it. It's not going to be easy. No one ever said writing was easy.

But nothing is pure talent. Nothing. If you tell me one thing that takes talent to succeed at, I guarantee I can rebut that claim.

Sure, some things might be easier for you than others, or easier for other people than they are for you (or the other way around), but that does not mean, in any way, that you will never become good at it.

Take tennis and me, for example: I have awful hand eye coordination. I'm clumsy, drop things/walk into inanimate objects/fall easily. I have terrible aim. And a racket? That just amplified those things so much. It was so hard, because especially in school, a lot of things tend to come easier to me. I didn't know how to deal with that. It felt like I'd never be able to even hit the tennis ball over the net.

But that was six months ago: and now, I'm here, and while I can't serve well and my backhand is still a hot mess, I can hit a ball. (Ish). I've improved so much; and even though I have so much ways to go, I can still say I've improved.

You can do anything, Tears, if you use that grit and perseverance we all have. Creativity isn't always easy, either. But you can do it. Go looking for inspiration, if you need it. You are under no pressure to suddenly win the Pulitzer Prize or even get a book published, right now.

Maybe you'll eventually do those things. You can build up the courage and patience it takes. You will build your style until it is wonderful. You just keep coming up with ideas, and keep writing them down, and who knows? Maybe one of them will win the Pulitzer Prize.

Writing does not take talent, like anything. Writing takes patience, which we can all get, if we care to, and writing takes perseverance, which we all have. Writing takes courage to use that perseverance and patience and it takes courage to just jump in and say, "You know what? I'm writing for me. I'm not writing what people want to read, I'm writing what I want to write." Writing takes the ability to congratulate yourself on what you've already done and set goals for what you'd like to do in the future. Writing is about not giving up, even when you feel like you've lost all motivation and this is a terrrible idea and what was I thinking when I came up with this idea? And it takes not losing hope, every time you reach a dead end or a plot hole.

I sincerely suggest signing up for NaNoWriMo YWP if you aren't already. They have a wonderful collection of pep talks in the "breaking news" and their challenges (Camp NaNos, NaNoWriMo, Flash Fiction contests, etc.) are really helpful for setting goals. If you are already signed up for YWP, what are you still doing here, reading my comment? Go read those pep talks! I especially reccommend the one by YWP Participant Noelle P. from 3 months ago, it's truly inspiring.

You should try to say to get back in touch with them, but if they just keep on ghosting you, then please try to make new friends. You should tell the people at your table that its important to follow corona guidelines. Even if does sound goody-goody. 

Remember that we on CB are your friends. You can always turn to us.

I've been in a similar situation, woolly, and even though it's been years since then, it still hurts to look back at it. One of my best friends started making new friends and spending less time with me, and it made me feel left out and forgotten. I spent all my time by myself, and imagined new friends who would always be with me, etc.

It was not good for me. And, looking back, I think my friend felt the same way as I did. If you were as close with E as you seem to have been, then I doubt that is going to just slip away from you all at once. It can be awkward to try to spend time with someone you haven't seen for months, and she might be just as shy as you. Just go over and talk to her, or, if you don't feel comfortable with her new friends, ask your parents if you can ask her to go on walk, or go to a park, or spend time in your yard, socially distanced. It might be awkward at first, but if you keep trying, you should hopefully be able to talk easily with her. I know that it might be hard to go out of your comfort zone and reach out, but you will regret it if you don't.

If that still doesn't work out, or if you feel too shy to try that, see if you can make friends with one of her friends, and hopefully your mutual friendship can bring you closer together, especially after COVID is over.

Or, if all else fails, try to find someone in your cohort that you feel safe being around other than the people you've been spending time with. See if there's anyone else who seems to be spending their time alone like you, they probably want someone to spend time with just as much as you.

I'm no Lumi, so this isn't as good of advice as I wish, but I hope it helps. <3 <3 <3 

I've never really been in this situation (if I stop talking to my friends it's usually because they just left my school lol that's happened at lot actually) so I don't have any good advice, other than listen to Morning :P

But I'm really sorry you're going through that and I hope it works out and that no matter how, you'll find your people. :) <3 we're always here for you! 

Maybe he is frustrated with something else. You should try to make friends again, but if he keeps on doing this, maybe you shouldn´t pay too much attention to it anymore. (I am trying to help but if I say something that is not helpful to you you can just ignore it)

Personally, I don't look on any CBer as lesser. I'll admit that I might be more inclined to interact with people I already know, but newer CBers are definitely not "lesser". I will try to be more inclusive/welcoming in the future. NOT TELLING, thanks for calling attention to this. <3 *hugs* 

As I obviously don't know who you are (...because you're anonymous), I can't say "I know you're alive!", unfortunately. I'm really really sorry about the first two things, and I'm trying to be better at posting on threads with no comments, but I think it's really brave of you to post threads in the first place. I don't post threads because I'm afraid those things will happen.

About compliment threads… *sighs deeply*… I've stressed so much about these. I know I'm probably (not to sound conceited) one of the people who gets complimented, a lot. That makes me feel kind of guilty, actually. (Not trying to make this about me. Sorry.) But anyways, I know that compliment threads have issues. They really do. I love the good things about compliment threads, but I hate the exclusion and bad feelings they also generate. At this point, I feel that the only solution is to end compliment threads. Which we've already kind of done? So I guess all I can say is sorry. I'm so sorry.

*hugs*