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I'm leaving.
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
I'm leaving.
I'm leaving.
I don’t know a better way to phrase this.
If you had asked me three weeks ago whether I would ever leave the CB, I would have said no, never. I would never. But now…well, I don’t know.
I considered just disappearing without letting anyone know, (it’s not as if I post much anyway) but I guess I’m just not that kind of person.
I’m leaving because I need to leave. For a while, at least. I’m not comfortable with the Æ threads and other LGBQT et cetera stuff around right now, and I feel like if I keep seeing it I’ll explode and say something controversial to somebody and it’ll offend someone or other, and start a flame war—it’s all so delicate, isn’t it? I wouldn’t say I’m leaving to protect everyone else. I’m hardly that selfless. And I wouldn’t say you need protecting. But I don’t want to start a war.
And I can’t just avoid those threads because it simply isn’t possible for me.
Or maybe I’m leaving because we haven’t had a war in months and everything’s kind of peaceful and…bland, for me at least, and there’s not a lot for me to do. Maybe I’m also going because not a lot of the people I knew (I don’t use the term “friend” lightly) are gone or don’t post much anymore. I’m not nostalgic right now. I honestly couldn’t tell you what I feel like. Bitter, maybe. Sad. Tired.
Maybe I’m also going because sometimes I feel like I’m just this insignificant little person in the background, sitting in a corner, who has to shout to be heard and who’s not going to
be anyone here, so why even bother.
I’m going to stick around for a few more days to say goodbye, post a bit more. But I’m leaving. I’m leaving until I can’t bear it anymore and I have to come back. Because that’s what this is for me.
This might not be forever. In fact, it’s a hiatus of sorts, if that’s what you wish to call it. I could be back in a few days, or weeks, months, years. Maybe you won’t see me for a long time. But I’ll still be here, possibly. I might hover around without
posting, or maybe I just won’t be able to stand being away and I’ll have to come back in tears. In any case, this is me saying, for now, goodbye.
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(March 30, 2018 - 2:45 pm)
(March 30, 2018 - 2:45 pm)
*Chokes up*
You all have no idea how much this all means to me. Thank you so, so much. I'm going to miss you all. I guess when I said that I don't use the term "friend" lightly I meant that those people I knew, I might've gone so far as to call them friends but what I'm realizing now is that there are still so many people that I love here, that I'm going to miss. Friends.
All your comments, all your love, I just want to thank you for it. It's made this twelve-year-old's life just a little better, it's made me just a little more confident in myself. I'm still going. I'm not going to leave yet. Maybe at the end of the week I'll go. I just want to say that I love you all. And I'll come back. There's probably more that I want to add, but I have to get off the computer now.
-Leafy
(April 3, 2018 - 9:25 am)
*tears up* *hugs*
We'll miss you, too, Leafy. I'm so glad to have had the chance to know you, and make your life a little better. You're such a wonderful, extraordinary, creative person, and you've made such a difference on this website. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. We'll always be here for you.
(April 4, 2018 - 3:16 pm)
*Hugs*
(April 5, 2018 - 11:06 am)
I feel bad for not posting on this thread but there's honestly not much I can say that somebody else hasn't said better already. You were one of my biggest CB inspirations when I was still new, you're funny and clever, you're a fantastic writer and artist... the Chatterbox would be losing one of its greatest if you leave. But if you're not feeling comfortable here any more, I really don't blame you.
Just, uh... remember VDay 2019, alright? :)
(April 5, 2018 - 7:58 am)
Are you kidding me? I always thought you were so cool. I guess it's a mutual friendship. I'll miss you; it seems to me like you just came back.
I'll remember VDay. I bet I'll come back before that, though.
(April 5, 2018 - 11:08 am)
Top! I guess I won't question your decision about deleting that other half of the post.
(April 4, 2018 - 10:08 am)
Leafpool, I'm really sad to see you go. Your poetry is some of my favorite to read! Your kind and friendly presence will be missed by us all. :''''''''''''''( Please check in sometimes!
(April 5, 2018 - 7:34 am)
*Hugs* Bye, Bluebird. I will come back, I can promise that. I just need some time away, I guess, even though it's hard. (BTW, I love reading your poetry too.)
(April 5, 2018 - 11:10 am)
I understand your decision, but I'm sad to see you go! There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said better, but you've been one of my biggest inspirations, and I'll miss you! I'll be looking out for you when you come back!
(April 5, 2018 - 1:58 pm)
<3 Watch for me.
(April 6, 2018 - 2:58 pm)
How did I not post on this?
Honestly, there's not much left to say. I understand why you're leaving, and although I'll (and I'm sure everyone else as well) will miss you, I understand. See you for VDay '19. :) <3
(April 5, 2018 - 2:11 pm)
Aw... Leafpool... I'm so sorry you feel like you have to leave. Honestly, you were always one of the most important people on the CB. Like, when I think of people on the CB, you were in the top 5. So sad... All right. Well. Goodbye, Leafpool, and farewell... *sad face* Bye...
(April 5, 2018 - 3:03 pm)
Bye, coyetedomino. Stay at the top of the LTP, because I'll be back with a vengeance (and more Sharpies.) <3
(April 6, 2018 - 2:56 pm)
Bye, Inky. I'll miss you too. <3
(April 6, 2018 - 2:57 pm)
*Hugs* Just wanted to say that I love you Leafpool, we love you, and *salutes*
See you in 2019 along with all the amazing other CBers :)
Sidenote: Maybe you'll join the multitude of us, (which I include myself in) as being sort of like a guardian of the CB, (although the Admins are the biggest guardians of all in this case, they make all the rules and everything,) but still one of the people who watch over the CB/look at it often and post when needed. That's what I do anyways, and I'm sure that a lot of older CBers might be doing the same.
Love you Leafpool-you're amazing, and I consider you as one of my best CB friends. :) See you around. *Dissapears in puff of purple smoke*
(April 5, 2018 - 6:44 pm)