-Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to (my name).

-Commas to the third power save lives. (I will explain this one in case no one asks, because it's just too funny. So, there's this funny t-shirt that says:

I like cooking my family and pets. Commas save lives.

So, as you can see, you kinda have to see it and not just hear it to get the joke. So my dad wrote it out for my grandma to see, and he wrote comma's instead of commas, so I corrected him, telling him that it was commas, plural, not comma's, possessive. So he crossed the apostrophe out in such a way that it looked like a tiny three above the word. So my grandma read it as, "I like cooking my family and my pets. Commas to the third power save lives." XD)

Ok, I'm back again to tortue you all with terrible puns and dumb friend stuff! 

-"HE'S MY SON!" "NO, HE'S MY SON!!" "NO WAY!" *bickering* 

"Um, guys? Maybe I'm nobody's son.." *yells of rage* "AHHHH OK IM YOUR SON IM YOUR SON NOW DONT KILL ME!!!"

-"Rorrrryyyyyyy." "Rory!" "WHAT DO YOU WANT, DALEK?! GOSH YOURE SO ANNOYING THAT JACK HARKNESS WOULDNT EVEN FLIRT WITH YOU!!" *gasps* "OHHHH YOU BETTER RUN GIRL"

-Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the panda bears bite.

-The adventures of Rock and Cat.

-*someone shouts the floor is lava* *Nathan flops on the ground and yells TAKE ME.*

-if you love me let me beeeee aaaaaaa cooooowww

-"facepalm the other person, it makes more sense." "Noah, you're really-actually, that was surprisingly smart..."

If anyone wants an explanation for any of these, let me know and I will be happy to oblige.  

-laughsmilehappy (can be used in place of any of the words)

-"Every night I wake up in a cold sweat and think to myself 'WHERE IS JAMAICA??'"

-Argentina is the answer to anything. Meaning of life? Argentina. What's for lunch? Argentina. Are you ready? Argentina!

-Little Joseph who refuses to eat his chicken nuggets

-"Billy ate an apple."

-Da do da Dodiiieeee da do da do da Dodieee!

-Camping is the greatest joy you'll ever know! You've outstayed your welcome now it's time to go! Such good times spent! Inside a tent!

-Whay the emo whale and Shay the emo narwhal. 

"Baby Weems!"

"Great-Great-Grandpa B...(someone's last name) is such a hottie!"

"She's got a serious case of the wet-neck"

(In a high-pitched voice) "Guys, I think I just killed Sally!" 

"Chuck 'n Noodles!"

"Look, a ham!"

"Oliver, your little brother is possessed!"

"Because I'm HOMESCHOOLED."

"To the Fungeon!"

"On a scale from 1 to a moisty oyster, how much does she hate you?"

"Mobin! I ship it!"

"How do, your ladership?"

"You dated Brad? I dated Brad!"

"No! We can't resist the call of the library!"

"Is your uncle dead?"

"Nell! You're not a tree."

"When in doubt, do the hokey pokey."

"Mother!" "My child!"

"I'm the Doctor." *Waggles eybrows* "The Doctor of Jazz!"  

-"I can't believe it's not an alpaca!"

-"Dobby is freeeeeeee!!!"

-"The Man in the Moon, and his pet rabbit, Count Bunny Carrotwhiskers Von Hare."

-"Pellycopter, pellycopter, over my bed! I choose a color and the color is Rainbow Sparkles!"

-"We must see if she is worthy."

-"Elegant Toads"

-"I'm ice skating!"

-"She jinxed it!" 

-"Staplers are the bane of my existence"

-"If you're emotionally scarred and you know it clap your hands! *clap clap*"

-"The Timbers wall is creepy"

-"He's Futty's boyfriend"

-"Deep down in our hearts, we all know that it's a sunny day"

-"Party in the plankhouse, eatin' our wapato"

-"I have mastered the art of the crutch."

-"The guy is break dancing in the train station"

-"I can't draw Pugicorns, but I can draw Uniphants"

-"The high schoolers have to walk up the mountain to get to school"

-"This is how you exit fabulously!" 

-"No one was looking!" 

-"I'm a hostage, apparently"

-"I hereby name this island Scuba Island!" 

This is all I can remember, but I'll be back!

CAPTCHA says nkno.

Gosh diddly darn, I forgot a few:

-"(Name)'s the man, Instagram, take a pic, give your creamsicle a lick"

-"I'M HUNGRY"

-"My favorite animal is a snake, and my name is Lord Voldemort." 

-"when I woke up she was just smiling at me like this!*smiles creepily*" 

Anyhoo, farewell, fellow humans (I'm going to assume you're human...)! 

OoO I have some!

- "Do you have the streptococonut?"

- "That's very yong of you."*

- "Are you dead yet?"

- "So you're still into back to school?"**

- "Behind the scenesis back!"

*This joke came about when my friend misspelled young.

**The last two are a play on the Kpop group BTS, and we always say it stands for different things. 

- Flamingo, swan, and ogre

- "Pretzel!"

- "BAAAA"

- The waffle pear song

- Legit

-  The egg cooking show

- "Why am I not on your phone background?!" 

- "It's Laurmilton, not Lamilton!"

- Chicken nuggets

- Flag football

- "Jellyfish are my favorite animal!" "No, they can't be! They're taking over the world!"

- "It has been glutenified!"

- "I like-ed da beans"

- The language wars

Ask me about any of these, I can explain them!