Chatterbox: Down to Earth

Some advice, please?

Soo... this might sound a bit odd. I don't usually talk about my academics, IQ, how smart I am, or whatever. I don't even know if you guys care to hear. See, the thing is, I did not learn to read - not even recognize letters or anything - until I was 10. I was called stupid by family (besides my parents, of course), doctors, kids, and schools. I was told I would never become anything and would never learn to read, do math, or live outside of my parents' basement. It was not that I was lazy, just... things like that did not make sense. I got held back in first grade, and it never helped.

So my parents decided to homeschool me. Long story short, I jumped up in homeschooling to my regular grade, and I could have graduated at 16, so skipping grades too. By age 12, only two years after I learned to read, I was doing university level classes, with every single subject besides math at or above college level. Even math was still extremely high for my age. Then things went downhill again.

I went back to school for a few weeks for middle school (and a bit in 4th grade too). Didn't work out so well. I was getting into physical fights with students, I had no friends, I skipped classes, argued over evolution with my science teacher, and apparently, I got sent to the principal's office on a daily basis. I was also a social outcast, and they wanted to pair me with an older student to learn the ways of middle school and actually fit in and make friends. Didn't work. I left the school and went back to homeschooling. While in this school, I started occasionally being called out for being a "know-it-all" and one of those advocates that talk too much about what they believe in.  

In eighth grade, we moved yet again (we moved a lot) to a farm town of 400, where I still live today. I went to the school, a K-12 with less than 100 students that many of you guys know about from previous rants. I... couldn't really fit in that much. I was "too smart" from what kids told me, finding everything thrown at me too easy. By the older students, I'd occasionally get mocked. It was fine, I had faced worse in elementary and middle school. People thought I was insane and kind of rude, because I would never talk, only read. It wasn't that I didn't want to socialize, I just did not know how to. I've gotten better about that, recently. Anyways, I left that school, having been there less than a semester.

Then 9th grade came back, and I returned. Everything was too easy, yet now I faced a new problem. Math. I was failing, I had so many gaps in math that I now worked at a 7th or 8th-grade level, and I still couldn't do fractions, percents, or decimals. I didn't know my tables or even some elementary math, like certain scenarios within the long division. I was holding up an A+ in the class because he didn't grade homework and did massive bell curves on tests. I was seen as the "genius' yet I was being beaten by special ed kids. Even my English, grammar was failing me. Science was an absolute joke. We were doing elementary science projects in 8th and 9th grade. 10th-grade "Biology" was talking about the basic units of a cell for months straight. It's pathetic.

So now I am homeschooled and for good this time. It's almost the end of my 10th-grade year, and yet I still am stuck with math. All the above still applies. I have massive elementary math gaps, and none of it makes sense. In fact, on tests, I get really high scores on advanced math, like Algebra II, yet fail elementary math. I just don't... I don't know. I am trying to work through websites like Khan Academy, and it's just slow. Each part, where you only have to get 5 in a row right, takes me an hour for 2 of those. An hour. I am slow, I feel like I don't know this, and I need to for college. For life, for goodness sake. So, after this huge rant, what am I supposed to do? It's bad enough having been bullied half my life for being "not smart enough", and not being able to ride a bike, or swim, or run. Then being seen as different because of how I think, and for being smart. Then I discover my math is so terrible, that kids who have spent their entire lives in special ed are better at it than I am.

I thank you for reading this rant, tolerating it all. I just need advice on how to approach my problem. Thank you guys so much, you are all the best!