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Some advice, plea
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Some advice, plea
Some advice, please?
Soo... this might sound a bit odd. I don't usually talk about my academics, IQ, how smart I am, or whatever. I don't even know if you guys care to hear. See, the thing is, I did not learn to read - not even recognize letters or anything - until I was 10. I was called stupid by family (besides my parents, of course), doctors, kids, and schools. I was told I would never become anything and would never learn to read, do math, or live outside of my parents' basement. It was not that I was lazy, just... things like that did not make sense. I got held back in first grade, and it never helped.
So my parents decided to homeschool me. Long story short, I jumped up in homeschooling to my regular grade, and I could have graduated at 16, so skipping grades too. By age 12, only two years after I learned to read, I was doing university level classes, with every single subject besides math at or above college level. Even math was still extremely high for my age. Then things went downhill again.
I went back to school for a few weeks for middle school (and a bit in 4th grade too). Didn't work out so well. I was getting into physical fights with students, I had no friends, I skipped classes, argued over evolution with my science teacher, and apparently, I got sent to the principal's office on a daily basis. I was also a social outcast, and they wanted to pair me with an older student to learn the ways of middle school and actually fit in and make friends. Didn't work. I left the school and went back to homeschooling. While in this school, I started occasionally being called out for being a "know-it-all" and one of those advocates that talk too much about what they believe in.
In eighth grade, we moved yet again (we moved a lot) to a farm town of 400, where I still live today. I went to the school, a K-12 with less than 100 students that many of you guys know about from previous rants. I... couldn't really fit in that much. I was "too smart" from what kids told me, finding everything thrown at me too easy. By the older students, I'd occasionally get mocked. It was fine, I had faced worse in elementary and middle school. People thought I was insane and kind of rude, because I would never talk, only read. It wasn't that I didn't want to socialize, I just did not know how to. I've gotten better about that, recently. Anyways, I left that school, having been there less than a semester.
Then 9th grade came back, and I returned. Everything was too easy, yet now I faced a new problem. Math. I was failing, I had so many gaps in math that I now worked at a 7th or 8th-grade level, and I still couldn't do fractions, percents, or decimals. I didn't know my tables or even some elementary math, like certain scenarios within the long division. I was holding up an A+ in the class because he didn't grade homework and did massive bell curves on tests. I was seen as the "genius' yet I was being beaten by special ed kids. Even my English, grammar was failing me. Science was an absolute joke. We were doing elementary science projects in 8th and 9th grade. 10th-grade "Biology" was talking about the basic units of a cell for months straight. It's pathetic.
So now I am homeschooled and for good this time. It's almost the end of my 10th-grade year, and yet I still am stuck with math. All the above still applies. I have massive elementary math gaps, and none of it makes sense. In fact, on tests, I get really high scores on advanced math, like Algebra II, yet fail elementary math. I just don't... I don't know. I am trying to work through websites like Khan Academy, and it's just slow. Each part, where you only have to get 5 in a row right, takes me an hour for 2 of those. An hour. I am slow, I feel like I don't know this, and I need to for college. For life, for goodness sake. So, after this huge rant, what am I supposed to do? It's bad enough having been bullied half my life for being "not smart enough", and not being able to ride a bike, or swim, or run. Then being seen as different because of how I think, and for being smart. Then I discover my math is so terrible, that kids who have spent their entire lives in special ed are better at it than I am.
I thank you for reading this rant, tolerating it all. I just need advice on how to approach my problem. Thank you guys so much, you are all the best!
submitted by Ashlee G., age 16, The Future
(May 4, 2017 - 3:40 pm)
(May 4, 2017 - 3:40 pm)
Wow. That must really suck.
Those people must be jerks. In the community I live in, this kinda stuff never really happens. To be honest, I'm set in a pretty pitch perfect neighborhood when I'm practically naive to most people's school troubles. We do have those rude people, but they're just rude kids. They grow out of it.
I would try to get a psychiatrist. If you don't have any near your town you could probably get one online. They deal with stuff like that and will probably understand what's happening. This seems like a job for a doctor or someone of that sort, and I really don't think I have the knowledge to diagnose anything.
Anyways, I hope life improves for you!
(May 4, 2017 - 5:15 pm)
Thanks, Danie! It's a struggle... But fortunately where I live, the community is well knit. I was mainly having problems in the city, which is where I spent like 98% of my life. As for seeing a psychiatrist, we wouldn't have one anywhere nearby. Even if I got an online one, I still don't know if that would help me improve my math. It's a great suggestion, though, thank you!
(May 4, 2017 - 11:53 pm)
Oh... Ashlee...
I feel so bad for you!
And I can help you with elementary math. I'm still in elementary school, so it's fresh in my mind.
Tell me what you need help with!
(May 4, 2017 - 6:05 pm)
Wow, I sometimes forget the large age gap between myself and some of you guys! It's great to have fresh minds. Whew, I don't even know where to start. Fractions, decimals, long division in certain scenarios (like with decimals for instance), percents, oh, and don't even get me started on basic word problems. In other words, pretty much all of it. xD
I appreciate your offer! I know it is going to require years to catch up on everything, that is for sure.
(May 4, 2017 - 11:56 pm)
Okay.
...where to start?
XD
(May 5, 2017 - 7:28 pm)
Uhh.. France? Sorry, one, Hamilton reference. Two, I am in the mood for history. If you wish to try and help me (although I am quite certain I am unteachable), feel free to start wherever. Although I don't know how well I will be able to follow along.
(May 5, 2017 - 8:29 pm)
It sounds like a lot of your problems started with going to a public school. Going to one myself, I know it isn't right for many people, and there are definitely things I would change about it. There are kids that don't like me because I don't talk enough, I read too much, I'm not good at my PE class, or they think I'm too smart. It sounds to me like you are really smart, just the public education system doesn't agree with you. I get mental blocks from school sometimes where I can't figure something out, and sometimes that lasts for a really long time. I can sometimes do the really hard math, but simple things trip me up. My best advice for you would be to stay homeschooled since that is what seemed to work for you, and look at math problems only when you are in a clean, calm environment. Try doing math more towards the morning as that is when you are most likely to feel calm and patient, looking at problems with a logical mind, and keep in mind that you are not stupid if you get something wrong. Try going back to the very basics, if you didn't learn something well the first time, it helps to look over it again. Even if you still can't figure out those problems, it doesn't matter. Math might not be for you, and all that means is that you shouldn't pursue a carreer with a lot of math.
(May 4, 2017 - 6:34 pm)
Sounds like we kind of have the same situation with public school. And you are right - every time I attend, it wrecks me. Socially, academically, everything. I cannot handle even having 10 kids in my class, and I don't advance with academics whatsoever. In fact, I stayed the same or dropped since two years of high school. I do believe homeschooling is something I should stick with to benefit myself. When it comes to math now, I get really stressed out, especially in clutter and even with slightest noises. I start around 8-8:30 depending on my mood, and math is always the first thing I do unless I am trying to do a placement test for curriculums. It helps a lot, avoiding the daytime noise of four little siblings, games, and my parents. Too much. I still struggle a bit, so I play peaceful guitar or piano music in the background with large headphones to help. Then I sometimes put on an essential oil diffuser, some rollers, and take a deep breath before I start. Sadly, stress with math is something that will never entirely disappear, but you are right, mornings help me a lot. Originally, I was considering to pursue a career in advanced medical or technology, but way too much math and advanced science, both go hand in hand. Thank you so much for your advice!
Oh, and have I ever mentioned how awesome your name is?! I love mangos, they are quite wonderful, especially in smoothies. Off topic, but it lifted my spirits remembering that.
(May 5, 2017 - 12:02 am)
Oh Ashlee! I'm so sorry to hear that! I feel really bad for you now, and those people are totally sick!
I am also homeschooled. I have never used Khan Academy, so I don't know what to say about that. I use CTCmath. I don't know if this works for anyone else, but I like it.
I have never been great at math. I could read when I was younger, but I wouldn't. I couldn't sit still long enough so I didn't really start reading until I was 8 or 9. I am better at learning hands on, rather then paper and computers. Maybe you are the same way...? I don't know. I understand better when a person sits down and talks me through it. Maybe it would help you, too. I don't know.
I don't know if I can help with this problem, but I will try to help you with anything Ashlee. I am always here for you! Just tell me what you need me to do and I will do it.
(May 4, 2017 - 6:55 pm)
It's okay, and thank you, Silver! I suppose the world will always be filled with mean people like that, it's just something everyone faces at some point.
It's awesome you are homeschooled, too. Khan Academy is... well, the most stressful thing ever. Do this, get this done, follow this, it's just not for me. He tries his best to explain it, but the assignments are insanely frustrating and confusing.
I am more of a "nothing works, I am unteachable" kind of person when it comes to math. Hands-on help, yet I still have never grasped it entirely. For me, I need to see it, hear it, and do it with visuals, and someone personally explaining it. In other words, I need every single thing, and yet it still doesn't work. Sorry, I think you can probably sense my frustration in that. I will be doing MathUSee which is meant for visual, hands-on learners. I hope that helps, it's my best chance at the moment.
All in all, I must thank you, Silver! Your help means a lot, I just hope I can now throw away my issues and succeed. My biggest fear in life - or one of my biggest - is being a failure. So... yeah, I don't want that to happen. I just hope I can get over this one 10 mile tall brick wall.
(May 5, 2017 - 12:14 am)
Wow. That's just awful...
I've only gone to schools a few times in my life, and jets just say I only liked one of those which was small, and pretty close to homeschooling. I actually got home from school at like, 12-1. The rest? Failures. I've always been a school hater, and I believe that homeschooling is the best option for most kids, if only their parents could manage it. Kids are mean at school. I don't understand it. They seem to be mean just fir the fun of it. I sometimes wonder why teachers don't just deal with it. Maybe it's because a few mean kids went to a school, and then rubbed it off on others.
I've always been told I was smart. I've always earned quickly. I'm used to things being easy. I'm used to mastering everything. But lately I've been having more math trouble than usual. Pre algebra, fractions, decimals...apparently they aren't my strong suit. I have to be reminded and reminded of my formulas, how to do things, and what to do. I forget my math, I get stressed out about it, which makes it even harder to think. Many a tear has been spilled over my math pages. My parents say it seems harder because everything else is easy, and they're probably right, but that doesn't make it any easier to learn.
Sorry, rambling about myself again...
I'm really sorry you had to go through that, Ashlee. I really don't know what to tell you. My best advice is talk to your parents. Maybe even try some different approaches to math. Try to find what works.
We're here for you! <3
(May 4, 2017 - 7:02 pm)
I do believe homeschooling is the best option for a lot of kids as well, but some don't realize that. Or wish not to give up a social life (or at least a bit of it). Plus parents. So it can be a struggle, but I do wish more were home schooled!
I understand that struggle 100%. As for Pre-Algebra, I have quite a few gaps in there as well, with graphing, percents, fractions. Yeah, those are just in one ear and out the other. It's hard to learn, I understand that. Just keep on trudging on, and maybe get some extra help. Sounds weird to be giving advice if I struggle with the same thing, but... Oh well. I've spilled many tears over math myself, it's kind of a given in my case. No worries, though, you'll get through it!
My parents understand well and are trying to help me. That was a big reason I am home schooled now. I just don't know what to think. We've tried practically every math program on the face of the earth. Every technique. Every approach. Nothing's clicked for me. I need mastery, which is why I will probably be doing MathUSee (it's one of the only I have yet to try!) and I am really hoping that helps. It focuses on visual and hands-on, so that's my best bet hopefully.
Thank you, Leeli, for all your help! I also really hope you get over your own math walls, we are always here for you.
(May 5, 2017 - 12:20 am)
Wow. When I was nine, I was pulled out of advanced math because I couldn't memorize my times tables. As for school, meh. I go to a public school where my grade is constantly being yelled at, getting rearranged seats and lectures. I socially am more shy and prefer reading, and am not really interested in gossip. Because I'm an introvert in an extroverted school, I stick out like a sore thumb.
I think as long as you work hard at math, you'll be fine. You are extremely smart.
(May 4, 2017 - 7:24 pm)
Yeah, I can relate to that. I was put in special ed because of my math skills, or the lack thereof. I've always stuck out like a sore thumb as well. A social outcast, but hey, normal is weird and weird is normal, you know? I always tell myself that, because a large portion of the world will never understand the feeling of fangirling over Ron or other characters, roleplaying, wishing yourself in a book, or crying on a daily basis upon each page. So yep, I'm content with sharing that feeling with a select few nerds out in the world!
I do hope you are right. It's a struggle, and I know it will take time, but I am determined to overcome this obstacle. Thank you so much!
(May 5, 2017 - 12:23 am)
I agree with everyone before me.
Also, about Khan Academy. I have to use it for my math class, and it's awful. Don't let Khan Academy gauge your level on math. It's not that it's designed wrong or something, because it is, it's just so incredibly stressful. There's a lot of pressure on your shoulders whenever you do it. I have to, because it's homework and my grade, but you don't (or I don't think you do) and if you're not doing so well on it, I suggest you don't continue. Those stupid 3/5 in a row things make me panic, and I'm sure it's no better for you.
(May 4, 2017 - 7:42 pm)