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Loose lines, metaphors,
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Loose lines, metaphors,
Loose lines, metaphors, similies, poem ideas, etc...
So, there's a thread like this on Cicada, and since I still have 26 days until I can make an account on there (yes, I'm counting down the days, don't judge me), let's make it a thing on Cricket! This thread is exactly what it sounds like- post your lines of poetry that have no poem to go in, your metaphors or ideas that need work and possibly critique, anything of the like, and maybe we can help each other out or gather ideas. Please don't steal from other people though. I know you guys won't, but I had to say that.
Thanks for reading! I'll post some of mine when this thread shows up.
~Bluebird
submitted by Bluebird
(December 20, 2017 - 9:19 pm)
(December 20, 2017 - 9:19 pm)
Oh my word, I was thinking the same thing. That is such a genius line, Abigail. It puts feelings I've had for awhile into words.
(December 31, 2017 - 12:05 pm)
Thank you both so much, you're lovely. <3
(January 1, 2018 - 8:24 am)
Beautiful, Abi! I love the line: You run cold, your hands are always so, and perhaps your heart is too.
(January 3, 2018 - 4:37 pm)
Most of these are song verses so they probably won't translate on paper well.
-Birds with broken wings fly higher than you
-Pens with white ink can't erase these black tears
-My diamonds keep rusting on my shelf, They rust when around yourself.
-Its like playing the crane game, but I've got nothing to win
Cause, someone already took all the love hearts within!
-My lives are at 0, so, why won't this game end?
This boss can't die, I've had enough of its promises.
-I won't take off my thousands of masks until someone puts back yours
- His breath smelt like a flavored regret, his mint bubblegum like a cigarette
-Raindrops paint a picture in water
A happy family with one unhappy daughter
- I knock on death's door, This giant black door,
The note on the handle bore "
"a-knocking on another's door!"
-I fight dragons in my head,
cause the real ones cause so much bloodshed.
-This baby sings himself to sleep,
He swings his crib and counts black sheep
-I roll two weighted dice, they blink twice and thrice,
"Want another shot?" I nod. "Two nickels in the slot!"
-I rip the posters, I need to rip them apart
Cause I don't need these dumb kittens telling me what's smart
(December 29, 2017 - 3:59 pm)
Be my Winter/And I'll be your Summer
Take my hand/ and I'll take you somewhere / you could fly away from this bitter world/ if only you'd trust me
I was the one that always watched you drive away until you disappeared from reality and I was left standing there, staring
I've always hated choosing favorites
When you lay in the dark by yourself staring up for so long you begin to dream without being asleep, you're not alone
The late night noises don't bother me anymore/ when I'm too tired to sleep/ the emptiness is like fog/ and morning is my lighthouse
Sometimes I wake up so sad for no reason I just want to cry until it all goes away
(December 31, 2017 - 12:02 pm)
I just listened to May it Be and now I really really want to write a poem titled 'Mornie Alantie' (pronounced mor-nee-ay a-lan-tee-ay, which means 'Darkness has Fallen' in Elvish). But first I need to think of how to go about it.
(December 31, 2017 - 2:05 pm)
These are all very deep O.O I especially love /The late night noises don't bother me anymore/ when I'm too tired to sleep/ the emptiness is like fog/ and morning is my lighthouse
(December 31, 2017 - 4:40 pm)
Thank you so much, Blue! That's one of my favorites, too.
(December 31, 2017 - 5:50 pm)
Wow! I love all the verses posted by every single person on this thread! Now I'm regretting not grabbing my poetry notebook when I came down to use the computer but maybe I'll have some bits and pieces tomorrow.
(December 31, 2017 - 1:11 pm)
Cool! This is like a story scraps box. Good idea.
-The raven, swooping, falling, flies/mystery and intrugue sparkle in his eyes/wherein long forgotten secrets lies/smooth as shadow, black as night/the raven, swooping, falling, flies
-Nothing lasts forever, stones crumble, metal rusts, landscapes change, and in a finite world, not even memory can be trusted.
-one day all that is here will be rediscovered by a plucky archeologist
-Wisdom is knowing when to be afraid, Bravery is doing it despite the fear, and Honor is what you define it to be.
-Bravery is knowing when to be afraid, Bravery is doing it despite the fear, Bravery is what you define it to be, and so is fear.
-The one certainty in life is death.
-Most sayings are cynical, at least the ones that are remembered are.
-Even in the darkest place, there's always light if you look hard enough.
That last one is actually from John FQ. Yes, I know John. Good ol' Johnny! Oh, and because I could not resist this, RMS IS COMING AGAIN! SOON! YES PEOPLE IT IS BACK! BUT DIFFERENT! AND BETTER! AND A TEASER WILL BE POSTED SOONER OR LATER! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Fan girl scream* *Faints in exhaustion* *Carried off into the hospital*
(December 31, 2017 - 5:32 pm)
-we were caught up in a haze of summer/daydreams, sun-warmed sand, tanned skin,/sunblock smell it felt like we had the world in our/hands
-we were meteoroids, breaking through the atmosphere, we hit the earth with dust-crater impacts
-it's an age of free speech but are we really allowed to have opinions, to have voices that are permitted to speak
-I read a poem recently by someone named Mary Oliver and there was this line in it that caught my attention: "though it is true, the heavy blades of the world are still pounding underneath" and I thought it would be cool to write a poem centered around that although I don't have any ideas right now.
-And a quote by Ernest Hemingway that I also thought was cool: "We are all broken, that's how the light gets in."
(January 1, 2018 - 11:38 am)
Nice! I like the Ernest Hemminway one.
-Chips! With a wonderfully easy to *Grunts in exertion of trying to open it* open package! Just, *Gnnnnnn!* a moment, sorry! *GNNNNN* ARGH OPEN ALREADY YOU *Bleeeep*-ing thing! You little *Bleeeeep*-ing *Bleeeeeep* of a *Bleeeeeep*! ARGH *BLEEEEEP* YOU! *Smashes chip package onto tabletop* ARGH! *Chip package explodes* POW! Oh. Sorry, just got a little, uh, unhappy there! Um, still, buy this *Voice offscreen tells announcer that he's got one chance to recover his job with this ad* YES! INKO-I know. Ahem. Well, *Recovers upbeat voice* buy these chips! They may have a really hard to open package, but they sure taste *Leans down and grabs a chip* they sure taste really *Bites into chip* ......... *Eyes bulge* *Takes deep breath of air* EEEEEEEW!!!!!! THAT IS DISGUSTING! AAARGH GET IT OUT OF MY MOUTH! EW EW EW EW *Tries the scrape mouth* ARGH HOW DO YOU SELL THIS CRAP?! BLAAAARGH! *Throws up* AAAAAH IT BURNS IT BURNS HELP ME CALL THE THE PARAMEDICS! *Several hours of this* ........ *Finally is lying on floor* Well..... *Says in a pathetically weak voice* Well.... this... may... *cough cough* taste.... horrible..... and is bad for you....and has the worst packaging ever.... still..... buy.... this.... *Faints*
Sorry, just whenever I watch ads for stuff or see an ad, I have a strange desire to
a) scrawl all over it and obliterate the messege
b) Write on it saying 'BUY IT NOW!!!!! IT MAY TASTE DISGUSTING AND NOT HELP YOUR LIFE IN ANY WAY, BUT BUY IT ANYWAYS TO GIVE US MONEY!!!!!!'
or
c) Make a video parady of it mocking the entire ad campagne.
I have that kind of mind.
(January 1, 2018 - 5:50 pm)
All this is so good!
~ wandering the wide empty hallways of our hearts
~ sunshine burns, after all this
~ to wonder is to wander, in the mind
~ I-- I just keep fragmenting--
~ If a poem is never written, and no one ever hears it...
(January 1, 2018 - 7:00 pm)
-disappear into your head full of/foliage rust trees and starry midsummer skies
-I want to go into my cavern of lost hopes and shattered dreams/where the only things to keep me company are/dripping stalactite fingers and/Plutotian caves full of echoes
-watch my dreams play across the rippling waters surface and/wonder if I am sane
-Don't you wish you could lay in the fields of swaying grasses and/let the rust brown soil engulf you in a/warm mother nature embrace?
(January 2, 2018 - 1:37 pm)
just let me/disappear/into this world inside my head/I wanna get lost here
am i the only one who/creates world with their fingers/and loves nothing more than/diving into them/headfirst?
i dream of walking among starlight and moonlight
seems like every night now, I find myself wide awake at midnight
(January 3, 2018 - 9:05 am)