A poetry excercise
Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
A poetry excercise
A poetry excercise I saw on Cicada
So, I was looking around on the Slam (before I read the rules and found out that you had to be 14. :( I guess I have to wait until next year), and someone posted this writing exercise where "you just start writing and see what happens and keep whatever you have". So, careless poetry with no editing. I thought it sounded really cool, and thought you guys might want to try it, too!
This is my first try doing it, inspired by a (very) boring Algebra class. Also, I realize I left out some of the major elements that humans are made of (nitrogen, hydrogen, phosphorus) and chemicals that control happiness (oxytocin and endorphins) but at the time, these were the only ones I could remember, and there's no editing!!
untitled
we ourselves are
chemical formulas- we, composed of
carbon and oxygen and calcium,
we, a product of two cells and
46 chromosomes. Our happiness
is dopamine and serotonin, our faces
simply genes- so if we are nothing
but formulas, why is it so hard to
pay attention in algebra?
~~
Good luck!
(April 19, 2017 - 8:52 pm)
Thanks!
(April 26, 2017 - 5:13 pm)
I just realized that it's NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month) and they have daily poetry prompts!!
Too Long Ago~ (the prompt was what aliens or future civilizations would make of us)
isn't it funny,
you ask me,
that they didn't know
how to use tools for
so long?
you refer to an ancient civilization
thousands upon thousands
of years ago,
buried under so much history,
immortalized by their objects
now on display in a museum
(you have to pay $10
for the entry fee)
i suppose humanity
is a very material species.
you tell me something
about their culture, something
you learned in a fourth grade
history class, or at least,
it sounds like it— but i'm
no longer listening, instead
i'm thinking—
one day, we'll all be nothing
just remnants of a primal civilization
everything we've worked so hard to accomplish
told by the objects we leave behind.
you ask about
an ancient arrowhead, the paint
on the shaft peeling, but still
recognizable—
everything has a story,
i tell you,
it just depends if we get it right.
~~~~~~
I'd love some critique if you've got any!
(April 26, 2017 - 8:57 pm)
I have no critique, this is awesome! Did you really not edit this at all? Wow!
(April 26, 2017 - 9:42 pm)
Thank you so much! I have to admit, I did edit a bit of the middle stanza :p
(April 27, 2017 - 6:09 pm)
I don't know what this is. (tell me if your find the Fall Out Boy lyric!) I don't know, I wanted to try the roman numerals thing, so I just put together some random lines i've come up with that aren't finished poems.
disarray
i. i wanna have that near death experience / and survive / and know that insignificance is our downfall / pay attention to train graffiti / and notice flecks in people's eyes
ii. the whitecaps are wild today / the water is blue, hypnotic blue / i make the rules here / and you rebellious you dripped red into the sea and turned it purple
iii. this all makes sense in my head but
iv. send me back to the glue factory / your epoxy held the pieces together for a while but now they're f-a-l-l-i-n-g / stitch me up / 'cuz i can't fix myself, darling
v. read on because nothing makes sense / put a love letter in the curbside mailbox / your words / your words / would look so much better in cursive
vi. vinegar is sweet to me (but i can't change my taste buds)
vii. hey, that's my heart you've got there / be careful, please.
(April 26, 2017 - 10:00 pm)
Wow, this is beautiful! I love the disconnected-ness!! I really like the line: and know that insignificance is our downfall.
(April 26, 2017 - 10:56 pm)
Thank you, September, that means a lot :)
(April 27, 2017 - 8:32 pm)
Aww, this is hard, I edit everything, but the idea is awesome! Although I promise I won't edit this one, we'll see how it turns out. Also, I absolutely love these poems! Here is mine:
Untitled (for now):
Hey, wake up, you
That kid sitting on the edge of a lumpy bed
Sighing, kicking your feet back in forth as so
Do you not get tired of wasting away hours of thoughts about sleep?
Endless, gorgeous sleep, curls of hair against your pillow
Laughing as you dream of fantasies only your mind can hold
Yet here you are, slamming your hand down on that pathetic alarm clock
Kicking the wall to wake up your sister for school
Too exhausted from nothing very apparent, sighing
Wishing for it to be dark just a moment longer
And look who we have here
A bedraggled sister of yours angry with pounding feet
And now you are out of bed like a flash
Ha!
You should have your sister as an alarm more often
(April 27, 2017 - 9:29 pm)
Wow, looking back at this I submitted before even reading the poem so I wouldn't edit. But seriously, this is so relatable! I think I wrote it off of how I feel in the mornings xD
And oh my, I was very wordy!
(April 28, 2017 - 1:04 am)
This is so true! I love it!
(April 29, 2017 - 12:23 am)
I love this, Ashlee! Exactly how I feel in mornings!
(April 29, 2017 - 10:29 am)
Here's another one, but I am really tired so let's see how it turns out (it's 11:08 pm so...)
Untitled (or at least for now):
Poetic is a pen to paper
So beautiful in forms, like paint
Rushing across pages, stainings of war
Is it not a beautiful thing?
These words, we laugh, nonetheless
Call them hurtful, lifechanging, nonsense, and love
Uttered from the lips, signed with hands
Or, so the most powerful lays
Written with ink of your ancestors
From papyrus to paper, occasional flesh
Quill, pen, finger, toes
A story the youngest can tell, forever, smiling, laughing
To the oldest, grasping onto memories upon their death bed
Regardless, love is love, words are words, and when combined together
The whole world lay at your fingertips, exposed
(April 28, 2017 - 1:13 am)
This is beautiful, poems about poems/poetry are always cool :) I love the line /regardless, love is love, words are words, and when combined together/the whole word lay at your fingertips, exposed/
(April 29, 2017 - 10:32 am)
Interesting... it's so hard not to edit! I did actually go back and separated the last line into two :/
dangerous
if i said the word
'dangerous',
what would you think of?
knives
guns
fire
water
sure, all those things
can be harmful,
but we must make sure
that our
minds
are not the greatest
weapon of all
(April 28, 2017 - 9:03 am)
Wow, I think it is really good! Isn't it spectacular what kind of things we can create when we turn our minds over to themselves to write?
(April 28, 2017 - 10:55 am)