clandestine notes for a faraway friend

have you ever thought about the changing of tides and how

the moon is their master, their queen-of-the-sea?

have you ever thought about going back? giving

yourself to her, letting her dress you up in white and silver once

again.

have you ever thought it might be worth it, worth it to see me again?

(i wish i didn’t.)

i wish i could be as (i don’t know) brave as you, selfless as you

i wish that when you asked me to i ripped off the silver masks and white lies

pulled pins forged with moonlight out of the mandatory braids we all wore

shredded the impossibly bright silks that turned us into

thin

insignificant

faceless paper dolls

(maybe then we could have been free.)

have you ever thought about the changing of the tides and how

the moon is their master, their queen-of-the-sea?

she was yours once, too, and mine still, have you ever thought

about all the girls you left behind?

(i hope not, i hope you just think about how you broke out of the invisible cages)

(i wish i could see you now)

have you ever stared up at the sky and missed me from wherever

you are now, basking in your queen’s faked glory, knowing what the sun looks like

(is she just another puppet, dressed up in gold and silver?)

so here i stand in a castle in the sky and slowly break into pieces, writing

notes and hiding them away under pillows and in fireplaces

(it’s hard sometimes, to have to watch them burn as the moon 

in her radiance lights them up every night, because don’t you know you mean

more to me than the moon and all the stars she hung in the sky ever could?)

and if i ever got them back again i’d send them to you

my clandestine notes for you

a faraway friend. 

Lost secrets

Something we could know, that only we knew.

Sadly for us, that fantasy was just too good to be true.

The clandestine words between us, would be lost as we drifted apart.

Blown away by winds to strong to resist.

All we could do was try to start again.

The only thing that kept us afloat was the strength of being there for eachother. 

Gone with the wind, the little secrets we held between us.

But now it's too late, bacause we have never been enough for ourselves. 

Wihtout each other we might as well have all ready drowned.

We thought we could hold on, 

But now that you're gone,

No one else to hear my clandestine thoughts anymore.

Our little boat of confidence ran ashore.

But now it's too late.

Everybody already knows.

Without you,

Without our secrets,

Our strength, and our bond,

I can't seem to find myself anymore.

I can't seem to find a reason, to live anymore.

Everybody knows. 

By myself my scars just go too deep.

Until now, I didn't realize how much I needed you.

No one else, to see my clandestine truths, anymore.

And now that you're gone, no one else is left to care.

One last secret between you and me,

I loved you. 

Gone with the wind, is my life, evermore. 

little red flags~

you love spinning

webs of little white lies

and you say that you're sorry

when i can tell that you're not. 

you pretend you still

love me

like you love them 

but you're not too eager to care,

are you?

you keep little secrets tucked away,

hidden in some dark corner

of your twisted brain

and you're not afraid to 

announce things i don't want to be known

but i'm afraid to ask you

anything more than what i already know.

you're not sorry.

you know.

i know.

i know every little clandestine truth

you keep from me, about 

what you think of me.

you're not sorry,

are you?

you know.

i know.

i hope you're okay.

but i know you're not sorry. 

Before I start, I have to say, all of these poems are really good. There was no winning by a large margin this round. Just me being picky. And just because I liked yours better or worse than someone else’s doesn’t mean your poem was therefore better or worse than someone else’s. These three poems were amazing, and I wanted you to know that.

Okay, now that that’s over with . . . 

Third place: PhantomFeline!

Your poem is just . . . wow. My favorite line is the last one - “Gone with the wind, is my life, evermore.” It’s insane how beautiful and deep and stunning this poem is. It fits the theme so well too, the feeling is absolutely what I think of as clandestine. It’s just so gorgeous and well thought out and amazingly written and it just paints the most beautiful picture and it’s so sad and it’s just a little snippet of emotion and it’s captured so well and I just - ahhh. I love it so much. 

Second place: Spellbound!

This is probably the least fantastical of the group, which makes it even more interesting. The words are all so perfectly woven, and there’s so many metaphors and little tiny images that it’s weird to say it feels like real life, but it does. It feels so real. It feels like a struggle that could be and is faced by real, human people every day. It’s just so vivid and kind of painful - especially the last two lines, which are just kind of mindblowing and the best way to end a poem - but not painful in a bad way at all, just in a feels kind of way. Also, side note - I love that title.

And . . . drumroll, please, even though we already know who it is . . . 

First place: Luminescence!

This poem is just all the things to me. There’s world building in there, which I’ve never thought about before in a poem, but works so well, and there’s character development and all the elements of a story, which it totally is. My favorite lines are “(it’s hard sometimes, to have to watch them burn as the moon / in her radiance lights them up every night, because don’t you know you mean / more to me than the moon and all the stars she hung in the sky ever could?)”. The way you use words is stunning, but also just the way you break them up between the lines makes everything so magical, and just - you’ve made a masterpiece.

I realize you just judged last round - do you want to let Spellbound do it or PhantomFeline or do you want to judge or what?