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Fantasmagorian Radio!
Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
Fantasmagorian Radio!
Fantasmagorian Radio!
Hello, and welcome to Fantasmagorian Radio. I am your host, Keira Snowling. Welcome to Fantasmagoria, where the sun is hot, the snow is cold, and handprints appear on our mirrors from within. In education, new policies are opening doors to humans! No, human parents, we don't know why your children stay there so long or have all learned to play accordion.
In breaking news, The Omnipotent Narrator is hosting another gathering at his lovely ski lodge!
TON is not responsible for spontaeous combustion, death b pillows, or mournful flutes coming from the desert.
The doctors of our city say they can't give you more potato juice without prescription.
Keira Snowling, Northern Elf and librarian, signing out.
And remember... follow your heart. It's in that guy's coat pocket. Hurry! Go get it back!
submitted by Keira S.
(June 28, 2015 - 2:50 pm)
(June 28, 2015 - 2:50 pm)
Oh dear-- you'd have thought The Lord of Terror would have a better time financially. I'll make sure to send the Evils a donation... I guess getting killed by heroes who then take your loot 24/7 does really leave you broke...
As for the problem...
(MUCH CALCULATING LATER)
THIS HAS INFINITE DECIMAL PLACES!!!! (.00434401574 and counting if I did not royally mess up, which I probably did.) CURSE YOU, PI AND YOUR OVERRATEDNESS!!!!
I think I'm wasting time now.
(July 10, 2015 - 12:59 pm)
This calls for war! No it doesn't, actually. Nothing does. Why am l over here anyways? Only one way to find out.
HEY PERSON IN THE RADIO TOWER! THAT MEANS YOU, KEIRA! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME PIE, I'LL BURN DOWN THE TOWER! Perpare to Pi- l mean die!
(July 10, 2015 - 8:28 pm)
I'm not looking to start ANOTHER pointless п/т war. It is just that pi was the number that inspired the 3.14s in the problem and the problem put me through much pointless calculating.
(The age I put in here is as much of т as would fit in the box)
Oh and I make Pi and Tau signs using my Russian keyboard. Knowing how to read and write Russian means I can actually read some Greek because quite a few of the symbols are similar, but I don't understand Greek so it's all... Greek to me... I guess...
If I had a nickel for every time I get distracted-- Oh now I'm thinking about feta cheese. CURSE YOU GREECE AND YOUR DELICIOUS CUISINE!!!!
(July 10, 2015 - 11:52 pm)
Neither am l.
Woe is me, my laptop does not have a number pad, therefore l can not make the Pi symbol. *Sniff*
(July 11, 2015 - 6:41 pm)
Wait...
(July 10, 2015 - 8:07 pm)
Good evening, Fantasmagorian Radio.
In recent news Somebody has solved the problem! Probably! Ha, I didn't take the time to solve it myself!
Also, there seems to be a dragon outside threatening me if I don't give it pie.
(sounds of shuffling and a window opening)
NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY! IT'S MINE! GO AWAY! THE RADIO TOWER IS FIREPROOF!
(window closing, feet)
And I am not Brookeira. Who told you I was Brookeira? I'm certainly not her. This person is DEFINITELY not Brookeira...
(If you tell anyone, I will find you.)
Who is Somebody? Why is this dragon obsessed with pie? And I'm probably not Brookeira!
This is Keira S, signing out.
(July 10, 2015 - 10:22 pm)
Somebody, full name Somebody the Vibrant of the Electricity Realm, is an 11-year-old, psionic CBer that resides with her two alter egos and numerous pets in a secret headquarters on the outskirts of Chatterbox City. She thinks that you are Brookeira because a) you are both frost elves, and b) BrooKEIRA? But she may be wrong. Also, Somebody happens to be me. Yes. My name is Somebody. DEAL WITH IT!
Beware of Slenderman-- he just doesn't know how to make friends. After a while, he figured out that impaling people on trees wasn't getting him anywhere. Now someone needs to tell Slendy that stalking and abducting people isn't a good way to socialize either.
(July 10, 2015 - 11:57 pm)
I do not know a Somebody! Oh, how is Shifting doing-I mean, who's Shifting!
Anywho, I know who you are... I know AAALL of you (laughter dies away eerily).
(July 11, 2015 - 4:08 pm)
Thank you very much, I'm doing VERY well... everything is going according to plan... god you are all big pawns in my great game!
*laughs evilly*
(July 11, 2015 - 11:42 pm)
*attempts to facepalm, accidentally hits self on snout instead*
So, Shifting, any good news from the Continuity lately? I report from the RMS Tiny, a Starfleet space station whose numerical designation I completely forget, and a Rebel base whose location I will not disclose because of possible Imperial spies, but I don't have a minion- er, an operative in the Continuity yet, so that's your territory for now.
Koda the freeloading captcha says obia. Wait, what? You saw Obi-Wan?!
(July 13, 2015 - 10:42 pm)
In Continuity news? There've been a battalion of yandere fangirls invading us, which is why I don't spend much time there. It is hazardous to my health. You could air that.
(July 23, 2015 - 11:29 am)
Please write more. I'm really enjoying this! The only part I don't like is the not-updating-for-a-million-YEARZ part!
(August 16, 2015 - 3:28 pm)
There are many things in life. Things you like, things you dislike, things that have beautiful hair that you love. Yes, there are many things in life. Things with too many eyes to count. You'll probably be too busy screaming to try, anyways.
I approve of this "Fantasmagorian Radio." (I also approve of Night Vale oh my gosh Night Vale I love it too much--!)
(August 19, 2015 - 5:25 pm)
Goood Morning, Fantasmagoria. Sorry for the delay; a rampaging unicorn from the realm of floarl-print sofas destroyed the radio tower and we had to rebuild it using mostly cupcakes.
To those who were concerned: No, your staplers are NOT trying to kill you. Senior Citizens, please go back to sleep and lock your pencil sharpeners in the cupboards. With iron chains wrapped around said cupboards.
The ominous music pouring in from the abandoned slaughterhouse downtown is PURELY your imagination. So are the ghostly cows that moo mournfully when near it.
And now, a word from our sponsor, Grellimut the Grandlmoofluguss!
HeLLO chILdREN,hOW ARE YOU?
I have FRIENDS who TALK TO ME a LOT but THEIR MOUTHS DON'T MOVE!
You know WHY!
THEY DON'T HAVE ANY!
(manic laughter)
(vague noise of Keira calling for security)
(static clears. Keira sits back down.)
Ahem. Thank you, Grellimut!
We are fielding reports that all pictures and portraits in the area are being replaced by still lifes of muffins and broccoli.
Tune in next time.
(security guards shout, Grellimut breaks free and knocks Keira out)
If there IS a NEXT TIME
AHHhAHSHFHAHFHSAFHUWSFH|GIWSH
(August 22, 2015 - 10:12 am)
If you'd like, I can send in some Smaug Memorial Academy for Fledgling Dragons graduates to shore up your security team. I hear they're very effective guards and intruder-scorchers. Although you might have to fireproof the inside of the radio tower as well as the outside.
Sorry I've been gone for so long! I was waylaid for a while by the Hyperspace Paint War, which is why my ship looks like it went through a car wash in which the water had been replaced with paint by a color-blind koala. Curio says things have quieted down aboard the Tiny, with only the occasional insane topper or flying pink llama turning up to visit.
I got a call yesterday from one of my subordinates in Arda, saying he'd witnessed a very odd interview. It took place right in the middle of that big swamp by Mordor, and it was some kind of a cotton-candy beast interviewing a Nazgûl. My contact was too far away to hear exactly what was said (he was hiding in a clump of weeds), but it did escalate to where the Nazgûl roared something in Uruk and the cotton-candy thing yelled back, "UP MY WHAT?! YOU CAN SHOVE IT UP YOURS FOR ALL I CARE, JUST STAY AWAY FROM MINE!!" Was that one of your reporters? Does it need armed reinforcements?
Also, can you send out a general evacuation order to all residents of District 7, the Sujimis sector, and the Province Fjfcbswtgf? A reporter of mine just got nearly flattened by a massive Windex monster coming to destroy/sanitize those areas.
Until next time,
Di
(September 6, 2015 - 10:02 am)