Day 1

In an invisible house on the street lived a personality split. Not an invisible house that monsters and Halloween creatures live in, nor the kind where the hosts tell you to take an invisible seat and you miss and fall on the invisible floor; it was made from Ruby’s brain, and that means comfort and probably a few lemmings.

It was a perfectly normal-looking house, despite the fact that you probably wouldn’t be able to see it or its occupants, but let’s pretend for convenience's sake that you can.

The personality split was a fairly well-to-do personality split, and his name was Red. Red had lived in the neighborhood for an amount of time none of us can remember. He was considered very unrespectable, because he was constantly going off on adventures that always seemed to end with the line, “Guys, we’re trapped! Let’s drop the pilfered cannon and run!”. You could ask him any sort of question and not have a clue what he was going to say, but rest assured, it would probably be pretty silly, so there was no point in asking anyway.

The mother of our personality split--what is a personality split? I suppose personality splits need some description nowadays, since they are not often seen much in these parts. They are a people that are created from magical folk’s minds, and are imbued with a portion of the mage’s personality and mind. They take this personality and then grow with it and eventually they end up having a number of (usually embarrassing) traits that the main person most certainly did not have when the personality was still embedded in their brain. They tend to be magical themselves, wear whatever they want, and can really look or act like anything imaginable. Some stay in their creator’s head to make snarky remarks about said person’s life, others leave to go pilfer cannons, and some do both. Red was one of the last variety. Now you know enough to go on with. As I was saying, the mother of this personality split--Red, that is--was very commanding and supposedly rather scary when mad. She and her husband were going to go off to a New Year’s Eve party and warned him “If you invite all your friends over for a party in this house and make an enormous mess, it’ll be your own head.”

“I think the phrase is “on your own head”, Mom.”

“What phrase are you talking about?”

Naturally, shortly after the parents left, there was a knock on the door. Red answered it to find a teenage girl wearing a hoodie.

“Gollum, not at your service,” the girl said and hung up her hoodie in the hall.

Red: And Red, not at yours! What’s going on? Why are you here?

Gollum: I’m here for the party, of course.

Red: WHAT.

Gollum: Oh, look, is that a pizza? Well, you’ll need at least five more. I think the others are bringing some, so we shouldn’t run out.

Red: What others?

Gollum: The ones who just rang your doorbell, I imagine.

Melody and Blue Fairy didn’t have the pizza, but hey, they brought two two-liter soda bottles apiece!

Red: Oh, no, no, no. Turn around. Right now.

Blue Fairy: That’s no way to treat someone who’s come all the way from Massachusetts! Geez! Do you think the airfare was cheap or something?

Gollum: Did you guys bring the pizza?

Melody: No, Theo has it. We just passed him at that last intersection.

Theo brought the pizza and another guest!

Maggie: I made cookies.

SC: *coming in dramatically * I made cupcakes!

Red: Why the heck are you all wearing hoodies???

Ivy: There was a sale at Abercrombie. Oh, hi, Red, nice house. I love what your mother’s done with it!

Ima: Are these poinsettias out here on the back porch? Gorgeous!

Watermelon: We’ve arrived!!!!

Bounty: We have Rice Krispie Treats!!!!

Blond Heroines Rule: Hey, Red, is the painting in your bathroom by Thomas Kinkade? I love him!

Corina: TWIN!!!

Red: There aren’t hugging, squealing girls in my living room. There aren’t hugging, squealing girls in my living room. There aren’t…

S.E.: What’s up with him?

Tovah: Ehh, he’s in denial. Don’t worry about him.

Lizzy: Uh, hi. Does anyone recognise me?

Teresa: Hi, Lizzy! Awesome to see you again!

Charlie: Red, you coat rack is about to die under the amount of hoodies we’re putting on it.

Red: I have a coat rack?

Gilraen: Oh, yeah, I brought you one. Merry late Christmas. Now you owe me a coat rack.

Skyler: I’m guessing this house full of girls is the right house.

Red: Yes. There are girls everywhere. Everywhere, Skyler. They keep on coming into my nice, neat, beautiful house. Through the doors, the windows, down the chimney…

Grace R.: Well, that’s not very nice! Just because I landed on your roof doesn’t mean I came down the chimney; I just came through the door like everyone else. And it was a very tricky business, as I couldn’t see the sign. I hope I’m not late.

Red: What sign?

Maggie: Didn’t you put the sign on your door?

Tovah: It says, “Party today at nine p.m. Bring your own hoodie sweatshirts. Free lemmings given out at the door.”

Watermelon: It can also be read as “Dude, we have free pizza,” if you like. Some of them do. It’s all the same to us.

Ima: Yes, now pass the chips, please.

Red: What’s going on?

SC: We’re here to discuss going on a journey.

Charlie: I’ve been in a skiing mood lately, so we’re going to go skiing at this convenient little ski lodge!

Skyler: There and back again!

Theo: Or there, at least. Maybe not back again.

BHR: I suggest that Red handles all the funding of the trip!

Red: Wait, what--

Corina: Motion passed!

Gilraen: So, we’re going skiing tomorrow? Cool. Can we go party now?

Blue Fairy: Hold it! We have to do the singing part first!

Melody: Thank you for mentioning that, dear little sis. We must begin a journey with a journey beginning song!

Lizzy: That’s very eloquent, Melody.

Melody: So, I now present to you, “On my Way”! Tell everybody I’m on my way, new friends and new places to seeeeeeee!

Ivy: Oh, brother.

S.E.: Oh, Brother Bear.

And there was much partying. And the guests all left quite late. They also left Red a very large mess to clean up.

Red: I’m doomed.

Yes, you are.

Red: Would any of you mind helping me?

Yes, we all would mind very much. We’re having an Egyptian War tournament, and what makes you think we’ll stop a tournament to help you clean your own house? How silly of you.

Surprisingly, Red managed to clean up the enormous mess before his parents got home. He slept quite late the next morning and is currently eating a bowl of cereal.

Great Elephants, Red, did you not see the letter they left you?

Red: I saw what else they left me! I cleaned it up!

Yes, yes, that’s all very nice, now read your letter.

CBers and Company to Party Host Red greeting! For your hospitality our sincerest thanks, and for your offer of paying for our expensive, long ski trip our grateful acceptance. Terms: pay for all food, lodging, tacky souvenirs, funeral expenses if the occasion arises, etc.

Thinking it entirely unnecessary to clean up your esteemed household, we have proceeded in advance to make requisite preparations, and shall await your respected person at the Green Dragon Bus Stop, at 11 a.m. sharp. Trusting that you will be punctual,

We have the honor to remain

Yours deeply,

CBers and Co.

P.S. We couldn’t decided who should go in the “blank and co.” spot, so after arguing for half an hour (I believe you were huddling on your couch mumbling “the mess, the mess” at the time), we decided CBers and Co. would do. I still say it should be *much crossing out and erasing*

That leaves you just ten minutes. You will have to run.

Red: But--

No time for it.

Red: But--

No time for that either! Off you go!

Red: But I can’t run to London in ten minutes! (There is indeed a bus in England called the “Green Dragon Bus”.)

Are you a mage or not? Of course you can run to London in ten minutes, if you use a spell! My goodness, next you’ll be saying you can’t light a fire without wood!

At the bus stop, all the assorted CBers (minus Red), have gathered.

Blue Fairy: Let’s just leave without him.

Red: No! Wait! I’m here! I made it!

Teresa: What took you so long, Red? Did you sleep in or something? What were you doing last night?

Red: I was hosting a party for a number of loud, feminine, (Skyler and Theo: What about us?) messy dwarves.

Melody: Whaddya mean by dwarves?!

Red: Short people.

Melody: (rolling up sleeves) Oh, now it’s on. You’re about to get your butt kicked Melody-style.

BHR: Don’t kill him, or else who will pay for us?

Gollum: Lizzy!

Lizzy: Why I am always the one forced to take responsibility???

SC: It’s because you’re the oldest. And thank you, I thought that thankless title might fall to me.

Lizzy: Oh, you’re quite welcome.

And thus there was a long bus ride and much skiing.