firstly: i'm stupid, so i didn't notice a continuity error! so, continuity patch! both of wren's parents were not members of Grandpa's fake six, just her mother. Grandpa's fake six were:

Terrance Zhu

Danielle Zhu

Alice Hawthorne

Wren's mother (deceased)

Two Hawthorne Aunts (probably dead, yeah :/ )

For a while, I was working on drafting a short novel about the Doomed Six, but i stopped, because it was too bleak, honestly. writing three characters doomed to untimely, pointless deaths felt mean, and writing Grandpa as a main character sucked. one of my favorite themes to return to is the idea of a pointless, doomed, but utterly heroic and selfless struggle. but it's one thing to write a few short stories with that in mind, and another entirely to center a story around people doomed to either soul-crushing mediocrity or nightmarish failure. i much prefer this story, where characters have room to grow and evolve and possibly succeed!

canonically, the Doomed Six had lots of adventures you'll never learn very much about.

and now: the part.

~~

ASK WHERE HE WAS==>

YOU: Hey, where were you? All that time you were gone?

He stops.

Grandpa: Please forgive me if I'm being rude, but I don't see how that's any of your business. 

Alex: You're being rude.

Grandpa turns around, and cocks his head to the side. 

Grandpa: Ah. Please forgive me.

YOU: You're terrible. Antimony was right.

Grandpa: Antimon-?

YOU: The clone of Diana. 

Grandpa: Which...

He lowers his voice slightly, to a mocking stage whisper.

Grandpa: (which one's Diana?)

You know he's doing this to make you angry. It's working, too. 

YOU: The one who stays at our house every day. The one who's been my best friend since I was in middle school. The one I've been dating for a year now. The one who HAS A CLONE, WHO I AM CARRYING RIGHT NOW. 

Grandpa: Ah. Of course.  

Wren: I... do not want to talk to you anymore. 

Grandpa: Sounds... Excellent. I will do my best to uphold the end of this deal. You...

He gestures at your friends.

Grandpa: ...will likely continue to have difficulty doing so.  

He leaves, and you let him. Your hands are shaking. Tracy walks up to you, still carrying Sam. They look you dead in the eye.

Tracy: That guy raised you? 

YOU: Yes... Yeah.

Tracy: You should be proud of how well you turned out.

It isn't phrased in the way an attempt at raising your spirits would be. It isn't said in comforting tones, or with any sort of kindness. They phrase it as a blunt admission of fact, that you should be proud. It sets that as its baseline.

YOU: Thanks, Tracy. 

GO TO SCHOOL==>

YOU: We should... We should probably get back to school. And get Sam to... I don't know, the school nurse?

Sam: ...ow...yeh sounzz good.... 

Diana: Are you holding up okay, Sam? 

Sam: ...uh, nah not really....this hurts a bunch actually.

Tracy: Am I holding you comfortably, Aberdeen? 

Sam: uh... prob'ly as comfortably as you can....thank you.

The six of you manage to leave the house. Then you realize you aren't sure how to get to school at all. There's a car, but... you don't think any of you can drive legally. 

What do you do? 

top

JUST BREAK THE LAW==>

You scan your motley little group. Sam has a drivers permit, but with a freshly broken arm, he shouldn't be driving. You have no credentials related to driving whatsoever, and neither does Diana. And you're fairly certain Antimony doesn't either. Or Alex, for that matter.  And Antimony is unable to move her legs, so, probably not a good choice to drive. Honestly, knowing these people, you don't want any of them on the road. Your last hope is...

YOU: Hey, Tracy?

Tracy: Yes, Wren?

YOU: Um...  Can you drive?

Tracy: Yes, I'm very capable. Quite good, actually.

Yes! You can't believe your luck-

Tracy: I mean, not legally, no. But, I'm capable!

...And there it is. They look at you earnestly, and you're less then thrilled about the prospects of your plan, but to be honest, you're suffering from a decided lack of options. You bite your bottom lip nervously, and mutter:

YOU: Okay, we have a driver. 

Alex: No keys, though.

Crap.

Yeah, you've walked outside to the spare car kept by your grandfather, (a small, rusted thing, that was probably red once) but you have no keys, and no idea where the keys would be. It also seems to you that returning to the house and asking your grandfather would be directly comparable to stabbing yourself with a fork. 

Tracy: I can just hotwire it.

YOU: ... Okay.

Diana: Really? You are just letting them?

YOU: Yeah. One crime... What's two crimes, right?

Diana: Cool!

Tracy: Okay, I'm going to need some private time with her.

Antimony: Her?

Tracy: The car. I need to learn her ins...and outs...

Alex: You're really weird. 

Tracy: Okay. Sam, I'm going to set you down now. 

Sam: no, yeah, that's fine. my...leg isn't broken, it's my arm. i'll just... just sit down over here.  it was nice to be carried.

Alex: That's kinda weird too.

Antimony: It was probably adrenaline talking.

Tracy: Regardless, I'll carry you any time you like, Aberdeen. 

He smiles.

Sam: Sweet. 

Tracy sets him down, and he slumps against the car. Tracy turns to you and Alex.

Tracy: I'd like permission to access any tools in your garage.

YOU: Granted.

Alex: Granted, yeah. 

Tracy: Alex, after I've become directly acquainted with the vehicle, I might need you on standby.

Alex: Cool...? 

Tracy: Wren, Antimony, Diana. I believe you guys have a conversation you need to have. Far be it from me to meddle in your affairs, but... Sooner seems better than later.

You look at Tracy, feeling both gratified and aggravated. You do have a conversation to have. But they could've expressed that in a better way. 

You carry Antimony around to the side of the house, a good ways away from the others. Diana follows, and there's a long, awkward period of silence. 

What do you say?

top

FAILED ATTEMPT AT A JOKE + FINGER GUNS X2 COMBO==>

You stare at Diana. She smiles back at you. You stare at Antimony. She really does look almost exactly like Diana. Burn marks dot her skin, three diagonal scars wind across her face, and another one traces her jaw, but it's her. You don't speak for a bit. And then...

YOU: So...Never thought I'd encounter this situation in couple's... counselor...school.  Um.

You try doing finger guns. It doesn't improve your confidence.

YOU: Look, I'm really sorry, this is just... Very strange. Very, very strange. There's no frame of reference for this, like, at all. I mean, you... You are the same person. Twice. Right?

Antimony: I am... Not entirely certain! But, yes. I believe so? 

Diana: Obviously, we have been placed "out-of-sync."  We are not speaking in unison, so... I guess, we were at one point the same person, and can now evolve in parallel directions.

YOU: Ok.

You exhale. 

YOU: Look, okay, um... The point...The thing you want to do is...

Diana: Look, I was just saying, I would be absolutely fine with you dating Antimony as well. She is essentially me. And, uh, again... When I saw, back in garbage narnia, when I saw the dead... The dead version of you, I loved her, you know? And, and, Antimony is another me. So, I have actually experienced the same things you are currently experiencing.

Antimony: And, also, I remember being Diana. So, um, I remember everything about...about being her, and being, you know, with you. So, um... I love you? Still. But, I do not have to be... 

She drops her gaze.

Antimony: I want to be around you, however that works. Really, any way that works. I want to, at least, be your friend. Whatever, um, bizarre social configuration is necessary. But, that, I phrased that badly.

You look at her, and she looks back up at you. You've never seen Diana as deeply upset as Antimony is now. Antimony is trying to mask it, but she's failing. You smile at her.

YOU: Look, we'll work this out. We'll all go to... throuple's...counselor...school. Not a good joke that time either, sorry. But yeah. We can all date, I guess. 

Antimony grins widely. Diana gives you a thumbs up. 

Diana: Actually, I do not know that throuple is the right term. You are dating one person, just two of one person.

Antimony: Yes, I am not an individual. I'm a...Dividual?

YOU: Geez, I sometimes forget how contentious you are. What's the "correct term?"

Diana: Three person couple?

YOU: Great, okay, so a distinction with no actual difference at all. 

Antimony: No, there's a difference. A couple is two people, and we're a couple, with three people.

YOU: Ugh, I'm gonna have to deal with two of you know, you weirdos... 

The three of you sit in comfortable silence. And then Tracy walks around the corner.

Tracy: I hotwired your car. Are you guys done?

Are you ready to go? Or is there anything else you need to say? 

diet coke

~~

CONSIDER==>

A dozen thoughts occur to you, one at a time. What about Terrance, when he finds out his daughter is now plural? Or, where is she going to sleep? Or...

LATER. LATER==>

That's a problem for future Wren to deal with. You feel okay, honestly. You feel good, great in fact. You pick up Antimony, and she smiles at you.

YOU: Dude, we gotta get you a wheelchair or something. I can't carry you everywhere.

Antimony: It kind of seems like you can.

YOU: Okay, but I'm not gonna.

Diana: I could carry her!

YOU: Dude, she's your weight exactly. You don't... Look, I love you, but you don't lift, bro. You'd drop her.

Antimony: Speaking as you, Wren is right, Diana. Wait, can I call you Deen? 

YOU: Aw, that'd be cute.

Tracy: Yes, very cute, etcetera. Come on, get in the car. 

You nod. Diana and you, still carrying Antimony, walk up to the car. Alex is standing at the back of the car, and Sam is lying back in the front passenger seat with the door open. He waves with his non-broken arm.

Sam: What's up guys. 

YOU: Not much, man. You still alright?  

Sam: Oh, oh, yeah.  I mean. I'm in pain, yeah, but. Take me to the nurse, I'll be alright.  

Alex: Okay, there's only five seats, but I'll just ride in the back.

Tracy: What, the trunk?

Alex: Is it...? I wouldn't, I wouldn't call it a trunk, per se. It's a little bigger, for sure. Whatever, we're already breaking one law, I don't know. I'll be a gentleman or whatever.

Diana: Much appreciated, Mr. Hawthorne.

Alex: No problem at all, Ms. Zhu.  

He calmly opens the back of the car, and crawls into it. Diana goes back around and closes it. You set Antimony down into the middle seat of the back.

YOU: Is that okay? You comfortable?

Antimony: Yeah, thank you.  

You and Diana get in, and Tracy jumps into the front. 

Tracy: Everybody in? 

YOU: Yeah.

There's a muffled "yeah" from behind you, and Tracy hits the gas. They actually drive fairly well. Maybe a bit too fast, but it's all right. You roll down a window. It's cold, yes, but when is it ever warm here?

You pass the same basic sights as you do every day, as you did earlier today. Was that today? It feels so long ago. With a twinge of fear, you realize you have no idea how long you've been gone from the perspective of this world. You hope that it hasn't been months this time. 

And then you hear a horn honking repeatedly behind you. 

A car is tailgaiting you.

What do you do? 

PULL OVER==>

Okay, yeah, seems like the only real reasonable route. 

YOU: Pull over and let him past.

Tracy: I'm going over the speed limit. He should be thanking me, personally.

YOU: It could be a nutjob. Sam has a broken arm, remember? An altercation on the road isn't the way to go. 

Tracy sighs, and slows down, pulling over to the curb. Your car and the other are the only two cars on the road, making it even more obviously stupid that this guy was tailgaiting you. Probably a crazy person. 

The car beside you has stopped. The window is rolled down, and the guy is waving at you.

Diana: Is that my dad?

YOU: I think so.

Yeah, it's definitely Terrance. Hawaiian shirt, glasses, uncombed beard. 

Tracy pushes the little button to roll down the window on Sam's side.

Terrance:  Thought I recognized you. Guys, you should all be in school, yeah? It's...

He looks down at his watch.

Terrance: It's, like, 11:30.

You breathe a sigh of relief. You're glad that, at least, you haven't been gone that long. You roll down the window.

YOU: Sorry, Mr. Zhu. Adventure called, I guess. 

Terrance: Yeah, I get that, but come on. First day of sch-

His eyes widen.

Terrance: Dude... Are there two Diana's back there?

YOU: Yeah... It's kind of a long story. Don't worry though, we're dealing with it. 

Diana: She has her own name, and we are in a throuple!

Antimony: Three person coup- It is a three person couple, sorry.

Terrance: Kid, it is... INSANE that that is the only concerns you have with this. 

Antimony: I'm paralyzed from the waist down.

Terrance: I... What?

Sam: Yeah, I got a broken arm.

Terrance: Well, I... Look, no questions asked, okay? Get in, I'll take you to the doctor. Both of you. Carry her, Wren. 

You nod, and sam walks out. You carry Antimony into the back of the car. Terrance grabs your arm through the window.

Terrance: (look. i'm gonna help you kids out however i can. i don't know if you knew this, but i grew up doing this too. stuff gets weird, and you have to help, however you can. i get it. it's hard, and it sucks, and you have to grow up way too early. i'm gonna take these kids to see a doctor i know, but i'd like to ask you two favors.)

YOU: (yessir.)

Terrance: (first, go back to school and try to have a normal day. please? just, resist the call to adventure for a little while? and, like, in general, try to make time to be normal kids. it... it genuinely pains me to see you guys have to do all this. you should be kids, you know? take care of yourself.)

You nod, and Terrance smiles.

Terrance: (i've known you since you were twelve, kid. you're always more concerned with helping other people than yourself. so, can you give verbal confirmation that you're gonna take care of yourself?)

YOU: (yeah, ok.)

Terrance: (and, you know. keep diana safe. both of them, i guess. i know you will, but... she's my kid, y'know? she's the best.)

YOU: (she really is.)

Terrance: (you're a good kid. you're all good kids.)

He rolls up his window and drives away. You get back in the car.

Diana: What were you talking about?

YOU: We were sullying your good name. 

Diana: Alas.

Tracy hits the gas, and you blaze down the nearly empty street to the school parking lot.

What do you do next? 

HAVE A NORMAL DAY==>

You step out of the car, and walk around to the back. You open the door, and Alex rolls out. He dusts off his pants and nods at you.

YOU: You alright, man?

Alex: Yeah. Hit my head a few times, but it was alright. Did you guys stop and talk to someone?

YOU: Yeah. Terrance.

Alex: Cool. Back in school, huh?

YOU: Ah, yep.

Tracy and Diana walk forward to join you. You look up above you as a crow, or raven, or... Some sort of black bird circles over you crowing loudly. You look toward the school.

YOU: We... We probably have to come up with some idea of an excuse for coming in late, right? 

Tracy: Not necessarily, no. I know a way in. Around the back. 

YOU: ...

Alex: You're kind of a freak, huh?

Tracy: Assuredly. 

They begin walking toward the school, and you and the others follow close behind. You make your way around the front, and Tracy points at a window. They grab the window, and lift it up.

Tracy: Unlocked!

YOU: Huh.

Diana: Cool.

Tracy clambers over the wall and into the window. Alex follows, and you and Diana get in as well.

YOU: Alright. 

You look around the room you're in. It's an empty classroom, with hideously outdated shag carpeting and posters naming Pluto as being among the nine planets. There's a faint, but distinct, scent of rotted wood, and you wrinkle your nose in disgust.

YOU: Kinda gross.

Tracy: Yes. I don't know how long it's been since this classroom was last in use, but at least it has a new role to serve: my special property invasion place.  

Alex: Yep, that's quite the consolation. 

Diana: Everyone should have a special property invasion place. 

YOU:As worrying as that is, y'know, I guess we have Tracy's strange, criminal tendencies to thank for our ability to be here, so, thank you Tracy.

Tracy: You got it, boss. 

Your group leaves the classroom and enters another long hallway. You wonder if you could find the strange labyrinth the janitor made. You doubt it.  

YOU: Okay guys, I guess we just.. Wait until next class change, and then try to blend in?

You have some time to kill. What do you do?