anyone here play any ttrpg's or anything? i'm trying to adapt the setting of Emerald Springs into a game using the storyteller system? doing it for a few friends and i didn't know if there was an audience for that on here?

INTERMISSION MODE: END ==>

The strange narrative pause ends, sputtering out, and slowly dying. Something resembling an actual narrative resumes. It is... beautiful. Coherence. Wonder. Sequential things.

While we're still outside of the actual storyline, let's briefly remember that this is an RPG parody, and level these kids up. They deserve it, wouldn't you agree?

DIANA'S level increased from 4 to 6! Good job, Diana!

WREN'S Level increased to level 8! She was already level 6? I guess she must work out or something?

ALEX'S level increased to Level... 3? I guess everybody has to start somewhere?

TEN'S level went from 10 to 12! They were level 10 already? What? What the heck? What did they do to become so powerful?! This is insane!

When they reach level 20, they will get a special reward! Or something?

The next action our heroes will take is entering Wren's house. But first...

Select your character! Ten, Wren, Diana, and Alex are all available! 

The post hasn't showed up yet, but I see Intermisson is over so YAY!

BE THE LOW-LEVEL HEIR ==>

Suddenly, you're Alex, although a certain running joke forces you to acknowledge the fact that, from your perspective, you've always been Alex. Alex is you, and you are Alex. But, you're alsoa few other things.

For example, wow, you're uncomfortable in the situation you're in. You've read enough books to be aware that "the reluctant hero" is a cliche, and kinf of irritating, but you actually feel rather sensible in your desire to, uh, not allow giant monsters to impact your llife any more than they already have, which was, by the way, more than enough.

In front of you is Wren, your cousin, who seems basically alright as a person. She just kind of freaked out, which is potentially the most sensible thing she's done today. She does irritate you quite a bit. She doesn't have any idea what she's doing, and it shows.

Beside Wren, as always, is Diana, or Deen, as Wren calls her. It's unclear if that's a nickname everyone calls her, or just Wren. You like Diana, probably the most out of anyone you've met in this extraordinarily stupid town thus far. She's sitting cross-legged on the ground, leaning her head on Wren's shoulder. She doesn't really seem to understand sarcasm, or turns of phrase, but you guess it takes all sorts.

Behind you is Ten, the person who started this whole horrible adventure. They're... is it they? Is this person a they/them, or... You don't really have any idea how that sort of thing works, so you're just going to try to be as considerate as possible, just in case. Anyway, they smile way too much, and it kind of freaks you out. And there's the fact that they're apparently willing to drag you on this entire misadventure just because their girlfriend is missing. You don't really understand romance, and you doubt you ever will. They notice you staring at them, and they flash a big smile. You quickly turn away.

Further to your front than Wren is the house you're currently staying in. The place freaked you out even before it started moving or whatever. It's way too big on the inside. You remember picking up a book in a Barnes and Noble about a house with similar issues...But that is almost certainly a coincidence. (although, with the insanity your life is becoming, coincidences are getting a bit harder to believe in.) Regardless, this house seems to be the perfect place for a monster to go to. 

Ten: Okay, so, guys... Are we gonna go in the house? I do kinda feel like a jerk for asking, since you just had a panic attack, but.

Wren: Hnn. No. It's a fair question. Yes. We're going in. If everyone agrees.

Wren glances at you.

Diana: Of course! We are obviously being led into a trap, but the trap is impossible to avoid. So we may as well rush in!

Ten: That's a good attitude to have!

YOU: What? No it isn't! No! You people are insane!

Wren: Alex, do you have anything to add?

YOU: ... You're insane. You're crazy people. You- This is not an ordinary reaction to circumstances like this. Running into a trap? That's stupid. Following a monster that directly threatened us? Stupid. This is stupid. You're all stupid. This entire situation is desperately, in-intrinsiclally, and irrevocably-

Wren: Stupid?

YOU: Yes!

Wren: I agree completely.

You look at wren, and she looks back at you. You realize how much she looks like you, and acts like you. She's starting to piss you off.

YOU: OH! Okay! You agree with me! So you know that this is a horrible decision, and you're just... Okay with that? Is that supposed to make me feel any better? That's even worse. You're even worse than the others. At... At least they seem to genuinely think we'll succeed. But you? You know we won't. Because we're three teenagers and one-

Ten: Four teenagers.

YOU: Eh?

Ten: I'm nineteen :]

YOU: ... Okay. We're four teenagers, and these are ancient gods, and we will die. Do you hear me? This is real life, you idiots. Friendship and love aren't going to save us. But no, we're going to... Let's march into the jaws of a nightmare creature. You're going to go, Wren, because you're either stupid, or crazy. And Ten is going to go because their... it is their, right?

Ten: Yes!

YOU: I... wanted to make sure, because I'm already being a huge jerk, and I didn't want to be even more of a jerk than I already am!

Ten: No, you did very good. Thank you for pausing your insane rant to insure the usage of the correct pronoun. Very nice! You'll get your ally points for today.

The last line was delivered with suprisingly sharp sarcasm.

YOU: Anyway! Ten is going to go because their girlfriend has already been... been swallowed up by this madness. And Diana is going to go because she follows you around like a... a lovesick puppy.

Diana winces. You can see the future clearly now, and you realize that you're going to hate yourself for having said this. But it's too late to take everything back, and it feels so good to say it. You continue, and you know that will be what you hate the most. That you didn't stop.

YOU: I guess I can't really fault either of them. Their motivations aren't selfish at all. But you? I can fault you. And I do. This our fault. And we're going to die. Basically. 

You rock on your feet, waiting for a response. Wren stares at you blankly. She does this for an uncomfortably long time. 

Wren: Do you have a better idea of what to do?

YOU: Uh...

Wren: I'm just curious.

You...

You hadn't though about that.

What do you do? Or rather, what do you say? 

REALIZE YOU ARE STUPID ==>

You suddenly realize what an idiot you are. It feels pretty bad. You feel pretty bad. And you should, you should totally feel bad. Even the second person narration is calling you out. You suck, man.

YOU: W-well... I... That is to say....

Wren: No bright ideas, huh?

Wren is smiling slightly. Diana is looking at you out of the corner of her eye. She looks like a kicked dog. And Ten... Isn't actually paying any attention at all. 

Wren: You know... When I had a panic attack... You remember, yes? 

You nod dumbly.

Wren: The first thing I tried to do is get away from the house. And it didn't work. We've exhausted all our options. Might as well give the obvious trap a try, right? Come on.

Wren pivots, and starts walking slowly to the house. Diana and Wren follow behind her.

You also follow, you pathetic cretin.

You enter through the back door, and what you see immediately is chaos. Your mom, and guy in sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt. And they're both yelling.

Guy(?): -THAT THING PROBABLY GOT THE KIDS! WE GOTTA FOLLOW IT!

Alice: Look! It came from outside, they're probably-

They both look up, and see you. Both of them make loud expressions of relief. Your mom runs toward you and hugs you. You hug back limply. The guy runs toward Diana, and you realize he's probably her dad.

Alice: Alex, you're okay!

YOU: Yeah... I'm pretty good!

Alice: This thing just rushed through here and went down the hall!

Diana's dad: I think it was a Woodsman.

YOU: You know that thing?

Diana's dad: Uh, not personally.

YOU: Who are you?

Terrance: I'm named Terrance.

YOU: ... Okay.

Wren looks at your mom and at Terrance. 

Wren: Hey, um. Aunt Alice? The woodsman thing, which way did it go? We have to go follow it, probably.

Alice: That is. Not a good idea? Just in general. It's a pretty dangerous thing, probably. I grew up around here, and these things can be pretty dangerous. And... Who are you?

Alice is looking at Ten, who has been standing behind you awkwardly, as the family reunion ensues. They look back at you and your mom.

Ten: Hi? The monster is following the trail of my girlfriend's scent? She's been missing for a while, and I ended up here, looking for her. I do think she's probably in danger.

Alice: Oh no, you poor thing. We'll help you find her, won't we, Terrance?

Terrance: Well, uh...

Alice: Won't we, Terrance?!

Terrance: Yeah, sure, sounds good man.

Diana: We have done fairly well, so far. Nobody has been physically injured!

Terrance: Heh, has anybody been emotionally injured?

The reaction is a deafening silence, from everyone.

Terrance: Okay. So, yes. 

The Terrance guy turns down toward the wide, open door to your left. He gestures weakly toward it.

Terrance: Well gang, uh, that way to almost, um, certain death.

Diana: Dad, you seem to be fairly familiar with this kind of situation? Is this from your job as a radio host?

Terrance: Well, not exactly? Look, when your mom and I were kids, we got... involved in similar situations. We stopped eventually. Because...

Wren: Because people got hurt.

Terrance: ... Worse than that.

Wren: My parents. 

Another painful silence ensues. Terrance clears his throat.

Are we following the thing? It's probably pretty far away now.

Do you follow? 

FOLLOW==>

The group seems to unanimously agree to follow the creature down the hallway. Ten and your mother lead the group. You stick in the middle, following mainly because your only other option is being abandoned to the whims of... of whatever else is out there. Diana and her dad bring up the rear.  Wren is staying closer to Diana, holding her hand and muttering something in her ear. You were fairly certain of this already, but you know now beyond a doubt: They're dating or something. You realize that you genuinely have zero desire to ever have something like that. You think that if you were somebody else, you might envy them, but you don't. You try, and fail, to make yourself feel bad about that. You wonder idly (and not for the first time) if something is wrong with you. You are unfamiliar with terms like "asexual." 

Ten motions for your party to be quiet, and you realize that's probably a good idea. You move through the cathedral-like hallways of the manor in hushed, soft footsteps. It isn't difficult to follow the creature, although you can't see it, it is evidently moving with little care or precision. Picture frames are knocked off of walls, lamps are broken, and the floors and walls are scuffed, likely by the long claws of the creature. The walk is long and tedious, and although your fellow adventurers are silent, you can sense a mounting frustration. Eventually, Ten speaks, in a quiet whisper.

Ten: (why is this house, like, an actual maze? it's like it was built to be as confusing as possible.)

Alice: (for all i know, it was. my dad inherited it, and i grew up here, but it's always felt almost... wrong. i think a few people have literally gotten lost in here, as in, like, missing person cases.)

Ten: :O

The conversation ends there, but your mothers' words echo in your head. "Missing person cases." That'll be you someday. You can envision your face on a poster hanging on a telephone pole, or on a milk carton. Do they still print missing notices on milk cartons? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Why, in heaven's name, did your mother drag you out here? To the worst town in the country? To, presumably, die in a labyrinthine house, in hot pursuit of some unknowable eldritch force?

You've just rounded a corner when you bump into your mom. She and Ten have abruptly stopped, and are looking at... Well, at something. You peek over your mother's shoulder, and see: a spiraling staircase in a crevice in the ground. Looking closer, you can see that it had previously been boarded over, but the floorboards have been torn out. No prizes for guessing who did that.

Wren: (wha- i... i didn't even know there was a basement.)

Alice: (i... haven't been down there in a long, long time. Be careful, guys.)

Your group slowly sneaks down the staircase. Ten turns on their phone's flashlight. The staircase  goes down for a while, you walk down it for about two minutes. That's your guess anyway. Eventually you do reach the bottom.

There's a tunnel. Green lights are on either side of the rounded walls. They're spaced out fairly far, and sections of it are dark. You can see the creature walking very far ahead of you.  You and your party slowly creep behind the creature, ensuring that there's plenty of space between you. You're no longer in a line, more of an awkward, close, and sweaty cluster. After walking for a while, you see a massive metal door at the end of the tunnel. There is a small panel to the side of it, with brightly colored buttons. The creature approaches the door, attempts to open it, and finds it locked. You watch from a safe distance as it turns to the panel, evidently meant to unlock the door, and studies it intently. It does this for a while, before turning back toward the door and almost immediately forcing it open with brute strength. It steps though the door, and it slams shut very quickly.

Alice: Okay, don't worry. Every password in this house is exactly the same, I can definitely get that open.

Diana: No! We cannot just charge through a door like that!

Wren: What do you mean, Deen.

Diana: I play a lot of video games. And that is a boss door.

YOU: What?

Diana: There is a boss behind that door. Some really big thing, and we are going to have to fight it. I personally guarantee it. We need to be prepared!

Okay?

How do you prepare? 

enter==>

You look around at a pipe on the concrete wall beside you. You start pulling on it, trying to get it off the wall, and you work up a sweat before giving up. Wren walks over, yanks it off the wall, and hands it to you.

YOU:...thanks.

Wren: No problem. Why did you need it?

YOU: I figured we need weapons. Just in case. I, uh, don't know if a "boss door" is a real thing, but it seems like an actual thing that might happen.

Terrance nods, and starts fidgeting with his pocket. He pulls out a pocketknife.

Terrance: I don't think this'll be much help, but it could be, I guess. Just in case, yeah?

Alice: I think I can probably take a woodsman! It looks flimsy, and I've hunted worse, back in the day. :)

YOU: Mom, what?

Wren: Well, I don't need a weapon, cause I got these.

Wren makes fists, and flexes her biceps. Diana giggles.

Wren: They're, um. Deadly weapons. Weapons of mass destruction. And... Ugh, no. I can't keep doing this, sorry.

Diana: I thought it was funny!

Wren nods slightly. 

Wren: Thanks, Deen. It... Awful as this adventure is, I'm glad to have spent it with you. 

Your mom leans down toward you.

Alice: Aren't they sweet.

YOU: Yeah. Makes me a little sick. 

Alice: Aw, no!

You look back down the tunnel, in the opposite direction of the door. The lights seem to have gone off further back. You wonder whether they're on a timer, or if they sense motion or something. You look back toward the door. Ten is standing near it. Your mother walks over toward them. They have a conversation, which you eavesdrop on.

Alice: Are you nervous?

Ten: Well, yes. But I'm also excited! I feel close to Lillie! I really hope I see her soon... I miss her being an actual person in my life. Now she's just an invisible McGuffin for me to hunt... I really hope she's okay?

Alice: I hope so too. But we'll do our best to get her to safety.

Ten: Yeah. Yeah! I knew she wouldn't just leave me alone. I'm really glad... This sounds terrible, but I'm glad she was abducted, and she didn't just leave me... I don't know what I'd do. I thought that was what had happened at first? But I didn't know why? But then I had this-

Terrance: Weird dream, yeah?

Ten: Yeah.

Terrance: Heh. Weird dreams abound around here. 

Ten: Okay! Ms. Hawthorne, could you open the door, please?

Alice: Of course. The code is 6202, if you guys ever need it.

Your mom walks over to the panel and inputs the code on the buttons below. It makes a long whirring sound, and then dings. The small screen near the top of the panel flashes green, and the door slides open. Ten turns their flashlight app on again, and looks into the room. It's very, very dark. Yur party cautiously makes it's way within, and...

A figure appears, shrouded in the darkness. It leaps forward, and speaks in a booming shout.

???: HEROES! YOU HAVE TRAVELED QUITE FAR, AND I HAVE OBSERVED YOUR JOURNEY FROM... OH, OH!!!

The figure is massive, inhumanly so. It's shoulders are impossibly broad, and it stands seven feet tall, at least. It wears a bright yellow cloak, obscuring its body, with a hood drawn over it's head. In the darkness, you initially think it's wearing a gas mask, but upon closer inspection, you realize that's its face. An insectoid, and terrifying, face.

The whole group of you seems to realize this, and you collectively scramble back a few steps, terrified. The figure doesn't seem to notice.

???: SWEET HEAVENS ALMIGHTY! WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?! 

It gestures madly at Terrance and Alice.

Terrance: Uh...

???: NO, NO, NO! WE CAN'T HAVE THAT! THIS IS NOT YOUR ADVENTURE! YOU MIGHT MESS UP THE PLAN! I'VE COMPUTED THIS DOWN TO THE ATOM!!!

Alice: I'm sorry, but-

The figure suddenly spins around in a ridiculously overblown fashion and leaps into the air, in a feat far too acrobatic for a creature as big as it. It brings its hands together suddenly, unleashing what seems to be a massive shockwave. You, Wren, Diana, and Ten are somehow not affected, but Terrance and your mother are. Terrance is blasted out through the doorway, dropping his pocketknife in the process. Diana screams something, maybe just noise, as her father is launched down the hallway, and past your line of sight. Your mother, meanwhile, is slammed into a wall. She falls down, and stands up, unsteadily. Fixing her eyes on the figure, she grits her teeth angrily, hacking up a little blood, spitting, and then... 

And then leaping, leg outstrectched, across the room, and kicking the figure in the face. Your mom, your mom, who, as far as you'd known, has never so much as squashed a spider, lands an impossibly hard kick, right in the figure's face. 

The figure laughs, seemingly genuinely impressed, and hurdles toward your mother, grabbing her by the leg, and throwing her down the tunnel, past your line of sight. The figure tuns back toward what remains of your party.

???: HA! WHAT AN IMPRESSIVE YOUNG WOMAN! SHE'S QUITE A FIGHTER! FANTASTIC!

YOU: I... That was my mom!!! 

???: AH.... WELL... I DOUBT SHE SUSTAINED MUCH MORE THAN A LITTLE COSMETIC DAMAGE? SURELY, SOMEONE THAT STRONG...

The thing keeps babbling, but you've stopped listening. You are, metaphorically, seeing red.

What do you do?

>FIGHT

>NEGOTIATE

>CONSORT WITH ALLIES