Chatterbox: Inkwell

I wrote this poem after someone very close died. I would like some feedback, plz!, also, keep in mind that this is a rough draft.

the sun warmed her cheek as she passed 

the raindrops parted the way for her.

her laugh made the moon shine and the grass greener

she made the world go round.

angels sang when she walked,

the devil forgot his fiendish work

and Spring bloomed even in the frost of winter

The day came when she no longer laughed,

no longer shined brightly n the dark,

but lay, pale and motionless in in her soft covers white as snow

in the arms of death

no doubt at the gates of heaven

for that was where she belongs.

When she was buried,

sunflowers grew all over her grave stone

mourning her early departure

celebrating in a sad sort of way

her life that made the world go round

yet the rain still fell

and the sun still shone, 

bright as ever the next day

though life seemed dark as ever with out her

and the grass still sprung up

as if she'd never gone

and maybe she hadn't

maybe her spirit strengthened the sun's gentle ray

and her laugh still harmonized with the birds

and in the summer, the ocean's spray her tears of happiness

the roar of the blue sea her calling,

her reasurrance

that she was still there

for the world still turns,

her spirit in a bluejay,

reminding them to stay strong.

it still needs work, but I hope you like it!

Lauren, it's beautiful just the way it is! You are a gifted poet.

Admin