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Letters to your characters.
We had a thread for this awhile back, and I'm reviving the idea 'cause I'm annoyed at Wolfy.
~
Dear Wolfbar,
All right. What on Earth are you doing invading my NaNovel? That's weird! You are supposed to be in England. Not this random AU I invented... That doesn't even make sense. You have absolutely no right to prance in and a) fall in love with Kelly and b) conceive a malicious plot to destroy humankind. WHAT? Again: WHAT? You're an overly self-confident stuck-up adolescent with aphasia and a superiority complex! And you don't even fit in with the rest of the characters!
Don't get me wrong. I *adore* you as a character. Really. I think you are a great, interesting guy, and I (stalkerishly) saw the link to TNO's (umlaut) website and the Sim she made of you is really, really cute. So yes, you have good character traits and good looks going for you. But... no. No. That's all there is to say. I have too many characters and subplots already, and anyway Kelly is what, sixteen?! That's a tad bit odd of you, frankly. And very out of character for you.
Not to mention that strictly speaking you are not even s'posed to be alive right now, and also not to mention the fact that you get waaaay too pompous and Stuish if you don't have someone shooting Cruciatas curses at you, which is why I do not want you in this particular story, because there's noone to do that. Except possibly Kelly, who thinks you're handsome but psychotic, in case you were wondering. I mean, you drove me to inventing characters (only mentioned once, yes, but still) named /Bella le Trickstrange/ and /Morte de Volde/. REALLY? I mean... REALLY?
The fact that I have a little bit of a crush on you means nothing whatsoever ((@ CBers: Jen has already made fun of me for this, so... ;D)), because that's just really pathetic in the first place. Of course, I can't cut you out now, because then nothing would make any sense... But I just wanted you to know that you are not making me happy right now.
Cheers,
-Mary Liz
submitted by Mary W., age 11.87, NJ
(November 15, 2009 - 6:07 pm)
(November 15, 2009 - 6:07 pm)
Try giving him a guy friend. Maybe he needs to feel manly. *hem* *bursts out laughing*
(December 27, 2009 - 9:40 am)
Dear Anya
Please hurry and do something! I can't think of anythiing. Your going to have to do something alright! Be creative! Jump on his head and ride him like a horse! Turn yourself into a chicken and run off! Let him kill you! Just do something! Please!!!!!!!
(November 27, 2009 - 4:19 pm)
Dearest Wolfy,
Sorry. Helena and Punk don't like you very much, do they? I s'pose you thought that without Bellatrix you'd be free of verbal abuse and the continual comments on what an arrogant prat you are. 'fraid that's not the case, though.
And hang in there, Kelly won't be dead much longer.
And arguing with Helena and Punk will get you nowhere, also. You'd be better off trying to win a throw pillow's respect.
Re: the ancient gods you're trying to resurrect: Just let me think about this all, okay? I only have like three days left. Just be happy that I'm not being really mean to you. Like I could be.
Keep up the good attitude,
-Mary Liz
PS Helena thinks your hair is too long. Don't cut it, though. She is mistaken on that, and on that only. It's very nice.
(November 28, 2009 - 5:28 pm)
Caden!
Seriously, you're starting to worry me. I really, really, really need you to find what's in the bag, and you're chatting with your buddy. Yes, Henry is a nice guy, and it is slightly amusing to hear you two exchange witty comments, and I did base him off my brother. As much as I would love for your life to be that of a successful marketplace thief and live happily ever after, that would ruin the plotline. Utterly so.
Look, if you don't get your act together soon, I'll have to make Henry evil. And I really don't want to do that. It would be painful for both of us. And for him. And for Vorgan, poor, unsuspecting evil crime lord. And for Layla.
So now I'm going to have to have the Magpie's Nest burn down or something equally depressing, just to get you away. So if you know what's good for you, get out of there right now. Go follow Layla and get the bag. I won't tell you what's in it, you have to find out for yourself.
You're the main character! Act like it!
Annie
Layla-
As much as I love you, please try and be a little less melodramatic. You're the size of a six-year-old with the powers of a Fyrrekyn, but that doesn't give you the right to go all emo on me. Seriously.
I had to make a lot of threats to get Cade to follow you, so don't flame up at him again, or he'll run off, and I have to get Henry or Ka- that is, some other charrie to go evil on me, just to get some action. Now. I am ordering you to tell Cade what is in the bag.
So, little one. Good luck. Fix my plotline.
Annie
Kanu...
Kanu, Kanu, Kanu. Wildcat warrior of the Wandering Swamps. What am I to do with you? You're going to have some visitors soon, in that out of the way place of yours. Namely, your little sister Layla the Fyrrekyn, and the Shadowthief.
Don't kill them. That would ruin my plot line. Seriously. If you do, I shall have to turn you into an evil mindless slave of Lord Vorgan. And I don't want my most original charrie to turn into a puppet.
So, best regards,
Annie
(December 13, 2009 - 12:20 pm)
Hmmmm. Can't seem to find the link, dang it! Sure I'm missing it, but can you post it here? Sorry this has nothing to do with writing to my charactors...
(December 15, 2009 - 12:23 am)
What, you mean the link to my site? If so, it's on my NaNo page, you'll have to copy+paste the address though because the link itself is broken. If you still can't find it it's a web.me address, username of silvertongues. Sorry but we're not allowed to post direct links.
If you're not talking about my site, I apologize for my massive ego. *grin*
((Speaking of which, Mary, there's a HPRP post now, if you want to check it out. /shameless self-promotion))
(December 15, 2009 - 7:55 pm)
*looks at this*
Aw, it's awesome, I love it! You remembered Albus had the different coloured eyes because of the Polyjuice (okay, I admit having different coloured eyes is very, very Stuish, usually, but still...). And I love the Bellatrix Sim. And, of course, Wolfy reading Shakespeare, very wonderful.
Nice Marauders, as well, on a more random note.
(December 16, 2009 - 4:56 pm)
Yeah, I was talking about your site, TNO, but I can't find it! Did you mean your NaNo site here? Any way I could google it?
(December 16, 2009 - 7:43 pm)
Dear Rilda:
You are a very docile and well-behaved character who does what's required for the plot and doesn't cause trouble, and that's a good thing. But I don't know who you are! Seriously, you don't say anything, you don't do anything, you just follow Manda around and agree with whatever she says. Yes, you're supposed to be introspective, but you're taking it a little too far. Get yourself some personality, seriously! And a backbone!
Oh, and tell Manda she needs to deflate her head, be more of a spectator and less of a doer. Because no one else ever has a chance to do anything. She's not even that cool of a character, so why should she get to do all the fun stuff? Stand up to her and demand that she give you an opening sometimes!
I guess I could go back and entirely rewrite, in third person instead of Manda's pov, which would make things more even, but it would be a big hassle. Honestly, I'm considering killing you off just so Manda can realize she never took the trouble to get to know her own sister. You don't want that to happen, now do you?
Good luck,
Your Author
(December 23, 2009 - 3:25 pm)
Lord Craytor...
Look, sorry for changing your name with no advance warning. Truly, I am. It's just that you're so generic. You mimic every evil crime lord ever, even in your name. I mean, Vorgan was so generic it just reeked of un-originality. Craytor was more subtle, but only slightly. So just... get a life. And a personality. And a backbone. And a haircut. And a mutinous servant--oh, sorry, didn't mean to let that slip.
Anyway, keep at it. And I know you've got this unrequited love thing for Rowena, so I need you to be more of a psycho than a cold and calculating crime lord. Please?
Annie
(December 27, 2009 - 9:52 am)